How do you tell a guy with mental issues....?

Question

that he's BORING the hell out of you and you're not interested in what he's saying or just don't understand most of it.

He has aspergers autism (he claims it's a "mild" case) where he approaches people awkwardly and attempts to be social by beginning with long winded conversations about one topic that is usually pretty weird, and cuz of apsbergers he can't tell if he's boring the person or the person is looking around for ways to escape.

I don't want to hurt his feelings (b/c last time i did that [not really hurt his feelings more like block him on AIM, and he knew cuz he was watching me with his 500 other sns] he threatened to kill my friend) but is there a way he can continue to think we're still friends without.....being mean about it.

btw he's also creepily obsessed with me and even though i told him i'm not interested 100 times he keeps saying how he won't giv e up and is determined blah blah

i'd also like to add, i'm VERY nice to this guy, probably the only normal (non mental issues) girl that even speaks to him and can get along with him on some sort of weird level. It's just sometimes he's overwhelming, he gets depressed a lot, says creepy things (ever since he started liking me), and the only reason i blocked him was because he spoiled my prank on my friend, not like that's a big deal or anything but the fact that he THREATENED to kill her because i did it sort of woke me up a bit, we definitely distanced since then.

Anyways that's all i'm saying. I understand him i don't mistreat him because he's different than everyone else.

Lucy~

yeah ever since then I stopped really talking to him, he transferred schools and we only really talked online rarely......now he's talking to me again, and is completely obsessed with me (like...he asked me how i would react if i walked in a guys room and see a bunch of pictures of me in there)

So yeah it's not like we hang out anymore or anything, i'm not stupid....i just want to tell hi to back off a bit.

Thanks for all the answers....I'd just like to point out the threatening thing happened last year....and it was reported and he was kicked out of school for a day and sent to some mental hospital....

also going to point out that to him he didn't think he was threatening to kill her, he thought he was threatening either to kill HIMSELF or have something else bad happen but to him, what he wrote wasn't what it looked like so technically he does know wrong from right he's just bad at it.

Answer 1

People with Asperger Syndrome (AS) need to be communicated with more directly and bluntly than the typical person. In fact, they need to have things explained to them in a manner that average people would consider rude. I'll get to specifics in a moment.

There is also the matter of your question itself. You don't seem clear about what you want to accomplish. Do you want to remain in contact with him? Do you want him to leave you alone? The reason I ask is because people with AS don't deal with emotional subtlety or multiple-choice situations very well.

You're going to have to make a simple and clear decision about what you want, and you will have to tell him very clearly. I'm going to take a guess here, and say that what you really want is for him to leave you alone. He's obsessed with you because you are one of the few people who have given him the time of day. It's rather sad really, that your attempt at being kind has led to this.

So back to the first paragraph. You will have to tell him: "I do not want to speak to you anymore, and I don't want you to contact me online." If he asks why, say, "You do things that are considered rude. You talk too much, and you don't know when to stop. You threatened my friend, and I have told you I'm not interested in you, but you continue to bother me."

Give him a constructive suggestion: "You need to find a counselor who can teach you how to relate to people so that they don't get angry with you. You should do this as soon as possible."

If, after this, you will probably have to repeat your message, calmly but firmly, a few more times. Make it clear that there is no chance that he can be friends with you. Don't make it easy for him to contact you. Don't get emotional.

You're correct that he doesn't realize when he's talked too much, or become boring or doesn't make sense. Don't make it your problem though. It is probably for the best if you stop trying, and simply withdraw.

Again, because people with AS don't understand the nuances of give-and-take in adult relationships, and because they can't read between the lines, you will have to be very clear, like the instructions on the back of a shampoo bottle: "Wet hair. Apply shampoo. Massage in thoroughly. Lather, rinse, and repeat."

Answer 2

Did you call the police when he threatened your friend? Even though he has a mild case of Autism he knows right from wrong. I am a nanny for a child with a severe case of autism and ADHD and even HE knows when he shouldn't do certain things and he knows what NO means. I would tell the police that he won't leave you alone. They will likely have a mental health evaluation done on him and he may have to go to a mental hospital for help.

Answer 3

If he threatened to kill your friend online and you have a record of it you can always go to the police.
You seem to want to still be friends with him, but I think you should ask yourself if you need that sort of person in your life.
Maybe reporting him to the police will force him to get help or bring this violent aspect of his behavior to the attention of mental health professionals already helping him.

Answer 4

Write to the Police Superintendent of the Constabulary - would be on google - in simple terms positioned the call of the county > "Norfolk police constabulary" working example - tell him you're no longer chuffed and tat there's a modern massive media tale, nationally, on the undertaking of loss of police action and so on (that's genuine) upload which you will pass to the newspapers if he does not have an interview with your buddy or take some action. deliver the letter with the aid of recorded transport - and write on the right of the website - "Copied to criminal consultant". It concerns no longer regardless of if the guy has psychological themes, one and all is entitled to protection. it style of feels he ought to do this lower back so your having taken the action with the letter will on the spot some action. Your buddy of course will would desire to write it in any different case the Superintendent will possibly no longer act. do no longer write to a decrease rank. you additionally can take courtroom action for the attack to get repayment regardless of the police loss of action.

Answer 5

Well, given that he has threatened to kill your friend, I'd say that you need to stay far away from this person.

Answer 6

i wouldnt let him get close to you or talk to you-i cant believe he threatened your friend!!! tell him in a kind way that he is scaring you and you could be friends if he makes an effort to act more calm and "normal"-OR tell a counselor or his parents to talk with him

Answer 7

"Whoa. Stop. You can't joke about hurting people. That is just not funny. You say that one more time and I wil never talk to you again. Understand."

If he uses threats to get his way, and it works, he will try that again.

Answer 8

honey, it sounds like you need a new boyfriend(friend).
if you are bored and annoyed by someone set them free to find someone they wont bore and annoy. sounds like you should quietly cut ties by being "busy" a lot