My parents are getting divorced. Help!!!!!!?

Question

My parents are getting divorced and i don't have a clue about what to do. My mom is moving out and I don't know anything anymore. Please help!!!! I no I am not being specific but please help anyway!!!!!

Answer 1

I'm so sorry to hear that. We adults do a lot of stupid things that children don't understand because the decisions we sometimes make are not rational.

First it has nothing to do with you. There is nothing for you to do. Secondly despite whatever your Mom and Dad are doing they love you very much.

This is a very difficult time, first there is a good chance that your parents will be able to fix their marriage. Sometimes people do things before they really think about it, but once they do think about it they realize that they may be making a mistake. Life when you are an adult is very complicated and there are no easy answers and sometimes it becomes overwhelming. That may be all that is happening in this case.

Next is there a grandparent, aunt or uncle you can speak to? You need someone to talk to and someone to help explain to you what is happening and someone to be there for you emotionally?

Find someone in your family that you can confide in and who will give you emotional support while this is going on. In the meantime, I know it hurts and I know it hurts a lot. I wish there was something in the world that heals hurts that people do to their children unintentionally. And the hurt you are feeling now is unintentional.

So find someone to help you, don't jump to any conclusions and most of all, try not to worry. Remember, no matter what happens, you will still have a mother who loves you and you will still have a father who loves you. Nothing will change that. They do love you and will love you no matter what happens. You still will have both your Mom and your Dad.

Take care, but it is very difficult going through tough times by yourself and there is no need to go through tough times by yourself. Find someone to talk to, don't go through this alone. You don't have to and over time, you will find no matter what happens, everything will still turn out to be okay.

If you can remember that your Mom and Dad both love you and despite all the fireworks that truth will never change, you'll be okay. God bless and take care.

Answer 2

If you can't get to a counselor, and even if you can, a really good resource as a supplement is a book titled "Now What Do I Do?" by Lynn Cassella-Kupusinski. She was a child divorce and now runs a non-profit to help kids get through divorce. The book is like $10 so this is not a come on.

Also a really good free resource for your parents to use, if they want, is www.UpToParents.org. It's run by a different non-profit and is completely free with no-commercial links. It's designed to help parents untangle from their own conflict and focus on protecting their children during a divorce.

Hope this helps. And what the other poster wrote is very important to remember: your parents' divorce is not your fault, it's not up to you to fix it, and no matter how much it sucks along the way you're going to be okay. Asking for help and support is a great start and a thing to keep doing as you go through this tough time.

Answer 3

you need to talk to a counselor about this but the basic things you need to remember is that because they apparently do not love each other anymore doesn't mean that they don't love you.
You need to talk to each of them and get their side of the story as to what happened and why the divorce. If one of them had an affair, they were not getting what they needed in the relationship from the other and did not talk about it in time to save the marriage. Do not let them put you in the middle of their problems but the court will probably ask which you wan to live with so remember and even tell them that when you choose one it doesn't mean you love the other any less.
If they were fighting a lot before the divorce this may be the best thing for them and for you that they separate once the trauma you are feeling now passes but it will be a little shaky for a while. Just keep telling yourself This too will pass and it will. Ask them if they tried counseling and if they haven't perhaps the marriage may be saved yet, but if not, remember that they will both still love you and you will still love both of them but just not as a family any longer. Good Luck to you and just take life one day at a time and it will get better, I promise you.

Answer 4

remember the fighting ...renenber the hate ...remembr the horrible way they talked to each other and you will know this is not good or the way a loving relationship w/ respect is suppose to be . Neveer forget the pain and live for happiness without the pain . The divorce is b/c they...your parents need to find real happiness w/ someone eles. They cannot make it work . It takes 2 devoted people to make this happen w/ 1 goal in mind . Know it is not your fault , Your parents want to free you of the pain in hopes that you yourself will be happy . They cannot find happiness w/ each other so its time for them to move on ... Talk to each of them alone and this will help you to understand ... b/c the 2 most loved people 2 you ...do not love each other anymore ... Sorry about this Honey but 1 day it will be very clear to you.... Divorce does not mean they do not love you . It is their ending of their vows between each other and GOD>..

Answer 5

I am very sorry for your pain. I understand how difficult it can be especially since no one is giving you any information about the breakup. I wish I had some answers for you and could help to comfort you at this difficult time. Sometimes parents fight all the time or make choices that you don't understand. Maybe you will see in time why this breakup took place. There are probably many circumstances involved which you do not know about. Please know that you are loved and that this is not your fault. Try to talk with your Dad or with a relative you feel close to. If you need to talk with a counsellor, I would recommend that for you. It probably doesn't help to know that a very high percentage of marriages end up in divorce so you are not alone in this. There are many families going through this very same thing. Do you have a friend you can talk to? It is so important for you to be able to talk about your feelings and how scared you are; how you feel so alone and confused. Please try to find someone who you will feel comfortable talking about this. You don't need to be alone and lost in your thoughts and feelings. You need someone to help you and understand what you are going through. I am so very sorry.

Answer 6

It depends how old you are...when your 12 you can decide who you want to live with. My parents divorced when i was 6. I did not get to choose but the court decided i was to stay w/my dad and it worked out great.They decide which parent is best fit for the child and thats who you live with until you become an adult or when you turn 12 or so. No you don't have to move but if you want to move out of state the other parent has to be notified.

Answer 7

First off, it is not your fault, and you shouldn't feel any guilt about it.
My parents did the same. It was nothing that I had done.
Sometimes people just grow apart. They no longer interest each other, or get into different interests.
Its even possible they have found someone new.
It is a helpless feeling I know, but there is nothing you can do about it.
Have you tried to talk with either of them alone?
Maybe one of them will tell you something to enlighten you some. Hard as it seems try your best to remain calm, its best for both of them to be happy with there chosen mate.

Answer 8

tell your parents that they need to get back together. if, they are divorce. then you won't have the truth beauty of your life. you will have a mom without a dad or a dad without a mom. that's terrible. also, just tell them that you won't feel happy when both of them are separated. the truth family will always stick together no matter what. so, you need to make the next step, before they'll make their and it could turn out bad. good luck.

Answer 9

Aww man. Just remember that you are not at fault at ALL. It is a disagreement between your parents. Do not blame yourself or act like a mediator for your parents. Hope everything turns out okay.

Answer 10

Above all remember this THEY are getting the divorce not you. THEY are being selfish, not you. Ask your dad if he can explain what is going on, because it makes you feel insecure not knowing what to expect.