Would you find it offensive?

Question

If I said that some men are like children who need correction, or dogs who need to be trained? I know it sounds hard to believe, but I mean this with absolutely no disrespect. Truly. It is a good man who realizes this about himself. And this does not make him less than you. That attitude will not bring you results. What will bring you results is a clear, simple system of expectations, rules, rewards and punishments. Now of course, some cannot be trained and some don't need it. What do you think?

How young is young? I'm 27. Never been cheated on. Never been left or broken up with. Husband works while I stay home with the kiddos. And my ex did the same. They all have picked up after themselves and will help with stuff if asked. MANY men do hardly any or none of these things. This is a result of women who have not trained them correctly. That includes their mothers.

Oh, this applies to women, too. But I don't date women, so... =:0)

Email me, girl. I will help you out. You can train him and still allow him to feel like a man. It's all about finesse.

Oh, DJ, you're just mad at me because I said that your woman should have dumped you because you were hanging out with some other girl all the time. I'm not a feminist. I believe this is equally true for women. I just don't date women so it doesn't affect me.

Funny how many of the people who agree are the ones who have had long term relationships and know that it's true. People used to tell me how great a guy my ex of 9 years was (worked, didn't cheat, didn't do drugs, not violent, etc.). I always said, "You think he came out of a box like that? That was hard work put in." It is your job to help your partner grow and follow the right road if they need help.

Box Of Rain,
Don't worry, dear. You didn't offend me. And you do have a point. That's why it isn't about control. Training is not control. You train for a new job. Why should you not train for marriage? It is just as demanding as a job and it is a lifetime committment.

I left my ex because he worked too much. Some people are raised to believe you are your job, that it is the most important definition of you. And he was raised that way. It got old after about 8 or 9 years.

Cocky? That's possible. I actually think it is just being smart enough to recognize good results when I see them. WITHOUT bogging myself down in politically correct bullsh!t.

Magic,
Obviously you need some training in literacy, dear boy. Your spelling is atrocious and you apparently can't read. I have never been broken up with. By anyone.
And by the way, speaking of the word slave... that is one of the "rewards"my husband receives (admittedly, it rewards me also, =:0D ). I am the slave sexually. My husband can do WHATEVER he wants to me or with me, whenever he wants to do it. He doesn't find it a bad trade and neither do I. I am not inflexible or unfair. It is all about giving him what he wants to get what you want and making everybody happy. Compromise, dear boy. Compromise.

Answer 1

I totally agree.. Both men and women have to be " trained ", I got married very young and i taught myself how to do just about everything and he learned with me.
He cleans up after him self and is able to cook and clean, i treat him with respect as he treats me with respect..
I agree :)

Answer 2

Some of what you have said is true.. You seem cocky and that's not good. There is a difference in being cocky and confident. You say your husband NEVER cheated on you, how do you know that..because he comes home the same time everyday or because he follows all of your rules...lol.. Be careful what you say and how you say it. Your ex was the same way, but yet you left him. Why is that?

I don't think a human can train a human. I think people do what you want them to do to get what they really want..I think you like weak men to make you feel like a strong women but when it all boils down to it, you get bored with them and before you know it, your husband is going to be your ex or you're going to end up with someone else..

Answer 3

People do NOT need trained, yes a dog who has no soul or ability to think needs trained. Its stupid that you believe that YOU are the reason that your ex, and future men will be correct due to your "training." If you so greatly trained your man, then why is he your ex??
This is not offensive, just down right an Opinion, and not a very good one at that.
I have been married for many many years and this is not how any relationship will ever work.

Answer 4

Well the old saying of 'you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink' is as true with men. I have been working on my man for the last 25years with some results. And while I say some, I can train him to pick his clothes up and not drop the used teabags on the sink for a while, but inevitably he reverts back to his old ways.
I have learnt to except the fact that if I send him for a cabbage he will bring home a cauliflower unless i draw diagrams. And I try not to mind when I find greased oil filters in my laundry trough.
In every other way he is a gem and loves me no matter what, so what can one do.

Answer 5

Yes some men are in need of "training" and "correction". But so are many women.

Treating your partner like an animal or a child aids in the development of a co-dependent/dependent relationship. NOT healthy. If someone isn't meeting your expectations then perhaps they or even you are in need of therapy. At the very least the person is not a suitable match for you. Time to move on.

Answer 6

I totally agree with you. Without women in their life, most...not all, but most... of them would shower once a week or maybe even once a month, not brush their teeth, never wash their hands, they would eat with their fingers and off of the table or counter, never shave, wear the same stinky clothes for months, only clean their houses / apartments / kitchens / bathrooms about 2 times a year, and if they use all the toilet paper the woman in their life bought...they would just do without?? Where do you think the notorious 'brown streak' in the underwear comes from?? LMFAO!!! No one has ever used that to describe a woman. So glad I don't have any of that in my life anymore.

Answer 7

Some men and women need to be trained but why go thru all of that when you can find someone who doesnt need any work ... My husband is a real man and never to i have to ask him to his part , he is old enough to know what to do. Honestly the men and women who act like children , are children , they are not ready to be adults.

Answer 8

I would find it offensive, as it clearly shows your need to control. Some people would be okay with this, as there are some men who would like to be the submissive in a relationship.

That's not really what offends me about it, though. What offends me is your analogy that men are creatures who can't think for themselves. We can, and do. I'll grant that you said "some men," but I'll wager that in your opinion, it's really "most men."

While everyone is different, I'm very happy in our marriage. Neither of us treats the other with the disrespect of assuming our expectations are the greater. We treat each other as the equals we are, and live very happily for it.

Answer 9

A true man knows what needs to be done and any man that you think needs to be trained is not worth wasting your time over - men could say the same thing about women, we are all different no one needs to be trained everyone needs to truly learn to accept others for exactly who they are, and not expect others to live up to their expectations.

Answer 10

Everyone male or female needs correction in some way or another. What you think needs correcting another person may think it is perfect. That is the beauty of being different! God created us all to be different. You can't change someone or mold them into who or what you want. If you want that kind of relationship you need to stick with dogs or cats.