Married 2yrs ago after a short & intense courtship(talked alot-we were long distance)He moved to CA 2 be w/me then we moved with him to AR.I have no friends or family here.Recently had a miscarriage after trying for a baby for 10 months.We fight off & on-struggled w/$$ for 1st yr.We were making ends meet easier for the last few months.Saw Dr for preconception counsel in Aug,& saw OB/GYN in Sept cuz he couldn't wait. Early Oct brought a funeral-his cousin,Mid Oct. brought painful cyst & miscarriage. Very next week he got inappropriate text mssges from a girl at work.He showed them to me & said she's ugly. He thought they were a joke at 1st, but after replying-he's not interested & married, she asked him to lunch. He said no.He is a very jealous person(w/o reason),I told him he needs to end it right(face 2 face).He finally did.He slept on couch that night & never came back to bed.Didnt talk x5days.Oct 31-he duznt want 2b married anymore.He's been unhappy for 2 yrs now.This is not him.
2007-11-08 13:40:54 · 13 answers · asked by rubyslippers 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is a very old fashioned, well mannered, keep to yourself kind of guy. I am a more open person. We used to be able to talk. I would think he's too respectful to cheat, but who knows. My daughter is from a previous relationship. My husband and I have no property together, but we were certain from the beginning about our beliefs in marriage as a 'til death do you part' kind of thing. Both of us are God fearing people - apparently our fear levels are not the same. I was married before and that ended after 7 years together w/ lying, cheating & drugs. I stayed single for 2 years and went into this relationship know what I DONT want. There was nothing about him that made me question anything - that's why I moved to AR w/ him. I feel the worst part of this besides the broken heart is the major disappointment in the fact that he is not willing to try ANYTHING to save this marriage. Marriage is supposed to be for better or worse.If things were that bad-why would he even want 2 try for a baby?
2007-11-08 14:56:35 · update #1
He he claims to have been unhappy for two years then there is no reason for you to stay in the relationship. Sounds like he has other interests or maybe some issues. Either way, if going back home is an option then I would suggest you do so for your daughter's sake. To try and keep a marriage together for the "sake of a child" isn't always the best idea, especially if he doesn't wish to try. I would sit down and discuss it with him see if that is his decision that he doesn't want to be married and that he's unhappy in the marriage. If that's what he really wants then let him know that you and your daughter want to leave and he should help you to be able to travel back or where ever you wish to go.
Update: Unfortunately that does happen sometimes, two people meet and usually its the guy who seems to say the things that the woman wants to hear to convince her. Sadly though there are some men as you have seen who once they are in a relationship find that isn't what they want or in their eyes feel there is too much "baggage" and they want out. I have seen it too many times in my life by too many men. The bad part is that there are women out there as well like that though fewer and futher between.
2007-11-08 13:57:53 · answer #1 · answered by Ghostwriter1959 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit and talk with him and perhaps move back to California. The fact that he is jealous might also be a sign of being controlling and you were the one to take control of the situation with the girl at work rather than him, so that may have upset him. The one thing wrong with long distance relationships is that often things don't show up until the couple get together so there may be something that you didn't see before the marriage because he didn't show it to you. Go home to California and if he loves you he will follow. If not, the you can file for the divorce.
2007-11-08 14:02:35 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon your daughter is six. What yoiu should do is explain that her grandma is narrow minded because she has bias- and instill some of that natoive american georgian PRIDE in her- she has a great diverse healthy bloodlione there and she needs to know that some people jusrt have bias and that she can't let it hurt her image of herself. You too. The more diverse your lineage is, the greater cghance that your descendents will thrive. Tells me that the Lord made it that way to help us and that the racial and cultural stereotyping about; uneducated' people- you know what? You can't educate a closed mind. Don't let her win but don't be rude. Just stick up for yourself, bring your displeasure with her attitude right to her face in front of people and do it with poise and dignity and you will see one of two things. She will either become extremely angry and forbid you to come around any more or she will back down ever soi slowly and ecer so slightly, probably repeating the behavior but it will be lesser and lesser every time you stand defiantly and call BS on her statements. I lost my little girl when she was 7 and she was already fighting against bias and so yours can as well. It might just help your girl when she goes to school so she wont face any of that kind of thing from schoolmates. courage, peace and love.Oh BTW what tribe of Indians is your family descended from, just because I live in the amrican sw desert and love the Natives and thier culture. (I did give grams a mental B****slap while I read your question . I couldn't help itLOL)
2016-04-03 03:02:06 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same here. I moved from half of the earth to AR with my ex. Then, he decided to move back home alone. How sad, I divorced him and found myself a good job later on. After I moved on, I found myself is happier and health than the time I was with him. I think the thing hurt me the most is he is not respect me and disregard how I feel. It is not if he is seeing someone else, because if he does care about you, he would not do that at all. Take care, you need to find your support and stand for yourself. Everything will fall into the right place later on.
2007-11-08 14:38:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with you, if he doesn't want to be there then why would you want him to be there? He must have someone else and wasn't happy! SO you need to move on and begin again. Holding on to something that isn't there anymore it worse for you then for him, ALL it's going to do Is push him away from you, If you plan on staying friends then just let him go...
2007-11-11 12:22:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need some sort of support group. You also need to separate from him until he figures out what he wants and who he is.
I have a (gorgeous and brilliant) friend whose husband divorced her after a year or two because she was infertile. She remarried and adopted a baby from _. I can't believe any guy would do that- what a turd. She is happy now.
2007-11-08 14:03:46 · answer #6 · answered by mk_gecko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No more children move back to family or some where you like>
2007-11-08 13:48:07 · answer #7 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I had one of those relationships...I divorced him...I didn't want to keep moving around and being away from my family. We just wanted two different things..sometimes it just doens't work.
2007-11-08 13:46:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl he has moved on and y would u let him go to lunch with that woman anyway it's over start a new life
2007-11-08 14:08:28 · answer #9 · answered by rosalyn_1973 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure exactly what's going on, but you're losing your mind. Get a ticket back to Calif.
2007-11-08 13:49:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋