he used to be who I thought was my bestfriend but it now seems like I don't matter to him what so ever, whenever i try showing him affection he doesnt notice or take me seriously. If things continue to go this way I'm thinking about leaving him no matter how much I *love* him, why be with someone who doesnt **SHOW** that love back?
any advice would be helpful.
2007-11-08 13:04:37 · 29 answers · asked by blahblah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you tried the whole being kinky thing with the sexy lingerie, whips and chains. If that doesn't get his attention time to move on.....after having a word with him first of course about why he's ignoring you and maybe giving him a chance to change....but if he doesn't definitely move on.
2007-11-08 13:15:31 · answer #1 · answered by Arther 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've gone through 15 years of that. My husband and I seldom (maybe once a year) fight, we agree on most things and talk a lot about everything else but us.
He has become more and more distant like when I'm trying to talk to him I see his eyes glaze over and I just walk away. We discussed separating last weekend but decided to seek counseling first.
Staying together or breaking up is not an easy thing to decide. Sometimes I feel like I'm in this marriage by myself and told him (on more than one occasion) so.
I wish I had some answers for you but all I can say is get some counseling before you make the decision to split, especially if there are children involved. Good luck to you!
2007-11-08 13:11:08 · answer #2 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to suggest this possibility but is there any chance he could be having an affair? One of the symptoms of a man having an affair is being emotionally distant at home, and any kind of change -- it sounds like if he was once loving and close and now he's inattentive and cold, that's a pretty big change. I really hope that's not the case. Otherwise maybe he is depressed -- obviously something's changed in him, you need to find out what. It may or may not have anything to do with you/ your marriage, but either way he needs to open up and share with you and communicate. I recommend marriage counseling -- the therapist will know how to get him to open up, and maybe having a third party mediator there will help him be able to express his feelings to you better. Good luck.
2007-11-08 13:11:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you make the decision to leave, have a talk with him and let him know how you feel. He is your partner and your best friend. Find out what is going on and get down to the bottom of things. If he doesn't try to improve his ways then do what you must. -At least you can say that you tried.
Good luck.
2007-11-08 13:16:24 · answer #4 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you make any big decisions try to figure out other reasons why he might be acting like this. There may be reasons why that have nothing to do with you. Is he stressing about his job? Maybe its something from his family (your inlaws). He might not want to tell you what it is right now and you should respect that. But be upfront with him and tell him how his behavior has been making you feel lately. If it isnt because of you he'll tell you that and if it is because of you, you can start talking about what is bothering him about you. He might not even realize he has changed so comfronting him could help him be aware of it and make more of an effort to show you more love.
The majority of us aren't mind readers, guys especially. You have to tell them straight up, don't sugar coat.
2007-11-08 13:14:20 · answer #5 · answered by beyawnsay1061 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah. lack of affection is a big deal. If you are being emotionally starved, you can't be happy in a relationship like that. Have you talked to him about it? Will he listen to your concerns?
This is kind of the opposite, because this article is about men being starved for affection/sex by their wives, but, if you flip the genders, this article might have some good insights for you : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=491929&in_page_id=1879
bottom line though - trust yourself. If you think there is a problem, then there is. You aren't crazy, you shouldn't just get over it, you are right to feel the way you do, and you are right to seek some kind of resolution, whatever that means for you.
2007-11-08 13:59:44 · answer #6 · answered by Janelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. You have that right. You are never going to get through to him unless you do. If you love him enough, you can also try counseling. If he is a good man and he doesn't hurt you in any way, it's worth a try. If you don't want to try, then yes, leave him.
It's up to you. Good luck and have a great night.
2007-11-08 13:29:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i Believe .that when it seen that it is hard .its not that hard you have to tell you are his best friend. when you love someone the .the love really never leave . ask him what wrong , and if you been to together for a long time .thing like that happen .Maybe you should plain a week away together. and let him remember what made him fall in love with you
2007-11-08 13:21:36 · answer #8 · answered by lucky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do people take marriage so lightly now days??? maybe he is having a hard time at work or something is bothering him...men don't like to talk about their feelings much if they are really deep...ask him flat out...noone can help you with this but him...we have no idea what he is feeling or his reasons...maybe he feels he can't come to you with these feelings he is having afraid it will hurt you...i don't know because im not him....but don't give up on everything just because of this...try counceling if he doesn't open up after awhile
2007-11-08 13:17:33 · answer #9 · answered by buschchick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if he is anything like mine talking to him doesnt do any good because he wont give you an answer. i had to litterally leave mine for him to realize how easy it is loose something you love. that because you never realize what you have until you loose it. it made him think. now he not only tells me he loves me he does things to prove . if that is the only way then do it, you have a right to happiness too.
2007-11-08 13:12:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋