Husband not home and i'm scared?

Question

I asked a question like this earlier today, and I got some good answers. Problem is I can't go out and get a big dog or have an ADT system put in tonight. My husband is working 3 hours away and only gets to come home every other weekend. It's just me and my small children. I'm so afraid at night! I stay awake until I can't no more because I am scared to go to sleep. What can I do to calm down and relax a little? I keep the home phone and my cell phone beside the bed, and there is a loaded gun in my bedroom (children can't get to the gun). Both my children sleep in my bedroom when my husband is away. I am a wreck...I don't know what else to do. I don't have anyone that could stay the night with us. I leave a lamp on in the living room, light on in kitchen, and a night light in the bathroom. And outside light is on.

p.s. we don't live on a army base.

I don't live in a bad neighborhood, I am just afraid of being alone and not having him here to protect us. I obsess about what COULD happen way too much, I know. I never worried this much until I had my two children.

Answer 1

I used to be like you, I was afraid of everything, we lived so far out in the country and my hubby was a farmer and had to be out all night doing the irrigating thing, so I was afraid all the time, What I found to work for me was the T.V. I would find programs that made me laugh, so then I'd forget about my fear, but what helped me the most was GOD, I would pray that he would take my fear and replace it with peace, and harmony, I would ask him to send his angles to protect my children and myself, soon it got to where I could sleep in my bed without the children and without fear, maybe you could ask God to take your fear from your life as well, like they say, Ask, and ye shall receive. God Bless

Answer 2

I went through something very similar when my husband started working midnights. We live out in the country and no one near us. I went sleepless for several nights but as time went on I got used to being alone. If it would help for you to have another lock on the door have him put one on. If you need to have lights on in the house then leave them on. Start letting the kids sleep in their own rooms one day a week for two weeks. Then two day a week etc... Just keep adding a day until you are comfortable. It will take lots of time to get used to being alone but after a while you will calm down and get some much needed sleep.

If you have done everything to secure the house (locks etc.) and the windows are secure, blinds are closed, curtains shut, then there isn't much more you can do to be prepared. Good luck and God bless.

Say a prayer to the Lord to keep you and your family safe and He will answer it. Keep praying every day and every night.

Answer 3

This may not be too comforting, but I live in Germany.. alone. My hubby is in Iraq until November 2008. Might I add I'm 23 weeks pregnant with our first baby and don't know if he'll be home on time for R&R when I'm due. I live off post, well because that's where they put us. It's the Army.. go figure. I understand at night, does get lonely. Believe me, I do the same thing with the lights. I listen to music, watch TV, read, use the internet until I get sleepy. But just try to relax and not worry about it. Keep your mind off of bad thoughts. You could be like me. :( Good luck :)

Answer 4

I can understand it can be scary especially now that you are responsible for a baby. Try getting together with some body else during the evening every now and then, a family member or friend. Talk to a family member over the phone every night before going to sleep, just for 5 mins. It may make you feel better. Go out for a walk or to the park during the day. Exercise each day. These things will make a whole difference in how you feel about your situation. You will feel more confident at night. Make sure all doors and windows are shut, keep a cordless phone next to your bed and be strong.

Answer 5

I put up with a similar life style for 15 years. The bad thing we lived in the country and it was dark and scary. Before dark I would make sure the curtains were closed and avoided going outside so no one would know I was there alone. Secure your doors that gives you a peace of mind. Make sure your windows are secure too. You need to relax or you're going to end up having anxiety attacks. Maybe you should discuss how this bothers you and you two need to make some changes.

Answer 6

Have some faith in God seriously. This behavior is going to affect your kids. Get rid of a loaded gun with kids. God forbid you are the one that creates an accident.
Lock the doors and sleep near the phone but forget all the other stuff. You sound paranoid and are letting your imagination go crazy.Your a parent not a little kid anymore so act like one. Be the master of your mind and not a slave to it.

Answer 7

I am not sure what type of place you live in but you could buy locks that screw onto the window tracks and a battery operated alarm that just sticks to the door and doorjam. At least then you would not be listening to every little sound. Or you could always invite a friend over for the night.

Answer 8

It sounds like you are having a great deal of anxiety. You should speak to your physician about this. He may be able to help you with either some relaxation techniques or some medication that can help you to relax.
Do you live in a bad neighborhood, are you scared for a legitimate reason, or is it just because you are alone?
You may be acting out lonliness and depression as anxiety about being alone. Sounds silly, but it can happen. Go to the doctor and let them know what is happening.
You must get rest so you can take care of your children.

Relaxation techniques: Learn ways to calm your stress
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/relaxation-technique/SR00007

The benefits of relaxation techniques
With so many things to do, relaxation techniques may take a back seat in your life. But that means you may miss out on the health benefits of relaxation.

Practicing relaxation techniques can improve how you physically respond to stress by:

Slowing your heart rate
Lowering blood pressure
Slowing your breathing rate
Reducing the need for oxygen
Increasing blood flow to major muscles
Reducing muscle tension
You may also gain these overall health and lifestyle benefits from relaxation techniques:

Fewer physical symptoms, such as headaches and back pain
Fewer emotional responses, such as anger and frustration
More energy
Improved concentration
Greater ability to handle problems
More efficiency in daily activities

Answer 9

who are ur neighbors?
do u have any? make friends with them so that you can look out for each other. this way they will be more mindful of goings on in or around your house and notice if there is anything different. maybe they can help out sometime. who knows, maybe your neighbors are in the same predicament and would like to sleep over(just make sure you trust them)
knowing ur paranoid nature i think it'll take time to trust people lol but i admire your protection for your family.
also, dim the lights but keep the tv on(on mute) so that from outside of the window it will always appear that there is movement or people in your house.
i know how u feel. i am not used to being alone either.

Answer 10

well, i sleep with mace and a police baton next to my bed. also, all the doors and windows have those small alarms that you can just stick up on them. you can find them at home depot.

also keep all the outside angles around your house well lit at night. before you go to bed, have some extra lights on around the house, and some music or tv on for background. this helps take aways the lonely creepy effect

as for worrying way to much since having children, lol welcome to motherhood :) we all worry like that

hope this helps you