what can I do about my husband?

Question

My husband get in these little moods and all and I do everything for him I cook clean take care of are babies and all pluse going to college and all. I just want to make him happy and all I lay his clothes out for him and tuck him in at night and all but nothing seems to help. I love my husband we will have been married for 3 years on june 18th and i feel like he is giving me the cold shoulder alot and I dont no what I did wrong and all I no he is not cheating but what can I do to make him happy and show me more affection and to show me he loves me more please help me thanks to all.....

Answer 1

Maybe you need to act like a wife instead of a mother. He's taking you for granted because you wait on him hand and foot. It doesn't sound like much of a partnership to me. Why don't you ask him what's bothering him? Good communication lines are the key to a good relationship.

Answer 2

Big J should be ashamed of himself. Girl, you are doing to much then. If you do something for him and he's giving you NOTHING, (I mean returns the favor or even thanks you) hes got a problem. I would honestly tell him, look bud, either you show some respect or I am going to stop DOING for you. This is a two person marriage, I am not in it alone here. Wake up. *Shrugs*

If it is hurting you, you need to tell him so. You can't keep things like that secret. I wonder if he's just like..well Mr. Tough guy. Know what I mean? Doesn't wear his feelings on his sleeve. In which case, you still should talk to him about it. Tell him you need to be told or show that he appreciates you. You might be surprised.

I wish you luck sweet girl. I hope you have a great night. :)

Answer 3

I agree with some of the other posts, you may be mothering him/ babying him too much. It's second nature to some of us (myself included) but I have not had good luck with the bf's I have taken too good care of (doing everything for them). It it instinctive for some to do dishes, clean-up, bend over backwards to do things but I think some men start to feel useless. I also think it can contribute to lack of respect because he knows you'll do everything if he doesn't...so he doesn't. I understand you want to make him happy but he also has a responsibility as a husband to try to make you happy as well. I would talk to him first and figure out what's up and then perhaps tone down the coddling and mothering. I believe that the longer you go on doing everything the more tired you'll be and could end up resenting him.

Answer 4

Hi April, this may not be the answer you’re looking for, but this sounds like a serious situation. You should probably attempt to find a marriage counselor and make an appointment as soon as possible. Even if he refuses to go, you can go by yourself. You’ll learn something important about yourself and the situation. It sounds like your husband is not happy. Have you tried talking with him about why he’s been acting strange? Focus on yourself. Fix your own problems and let him solve his. He’ll notice that you’re doing your own thing and getting healthier and happier without him and more than likely, he’ll make a change when he realizes that he could lose you.

Answer 5

Sweetie don't try so hard. It isn't fair that you do everything. Because I know you didn't make those kids on your own! The best thing you can do is talk to him and hopefully figure things out. Good luck and take a break-he's not better than you, so he should be helping. A relationship has to be 50/50 not 90/10

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear that you are not getting the affection you deserve. I think you should talk to him about what is going on. Tell him how you are feeling. I always thought that to solve a problem is to talk it out. Let him know that you love him and you need to be loved in return.

Answer 7

One very big mistake you are making is assuming your husband isn't cheating on you.How would you know something like that,can you read his mind. Hon,never but never say you know your husband isn't cheating. Is he coming on to you at night if not then he is coming on to someone else.You sound like you are very predictable and men don't like that,they like surprises,a little spontaneity. Laying his clothes out is fine but tucking him in is a little over the top. You need to stop treating him like he is a baby that needs to be tucked in at night and when he awakes he has his clothes all laid out for him. Your not challenging him,a man likes to be challenged. You are making it all to easy to boring, for once don't do what you normally do for him,he need to see a different you. Let him come to you,no matter how hard it is, wait it out.

Answer 8

It sounds like you have got him spoiled and he expects more.It also sounds like you guys have a communication problem. Get him to talk to you.He needs to tell you what is wrong.If you have kids,maybe he is having a problem with being intimate with a mom.
Stop laying his clothes out ,tucking him in and all of the little things that he has gotten used to. He will notice and he will probably ask what is going on,why have you stopped doing all of this stuff. Then you can you tell him what you have been feeling.

Answer 9

You are doing all that and wonder what else to do? He's a hard case. Maybe try more verbal encouragement and compliments to him. Look after your appearance, not fancy, but clean and neat. Maybe he has work stress. Women love to talk, maybe give him a chance to talk and just be a good listener. Nothing bad happened in his family? No bills?

Answer 10

I'm not even gay and I wish you were my wife! He's an ungrateful jerk who doesn't appreciate you.

You have to do something you will hate: lay off for a while. Don't pamper him. Ignore him. Go about your business. Focus on school and the kids. Don't tuck him in, don't lay out his clothes, see if he shapes up. Maybe he doesn't want a maid, maybe he wants someone to boss him around like mom did, who knows.