Should i "dump" my best friend?

Question

I have been best friends with this girl for a really long time. Now, she has changed and become a completely different person. She keeps all of her emotions inside of her, making the only visible emotion hate. She hates all kinds of people, for invalid reasons. She hates overweight people, homosexuals, blondes, and many many more. It is frustrating because she often makes fun of my beliefs as a liberal (mostly regarding homosexuals), and even does things just to annoy me (is it too much to ask for her not to say fa*got on a daily basis and not use gay as a synonym for stupid?) Its becoming more and more frustrating, but the thought of "dumping her" is heartbraking to me. An additional factor is that her mother was diagnosed with a deadly form of cancer and that may have caused some of her emotional problems. Should i stick with her and try to help her (even though she doesnt seem to want or need my help) or cut her out of my life?

ive spoken to her about it several times and her ego is too big for her to admit that she is wrong-or even for her to apologize at least for offending me...

Answer 1

Before you "dump" this person as a friend, ask her why she is acting this way. It sounds like she is so angry and full of hate, because her mother was diagnosed with a deadly form of cancer and she thinks that the only way to cover up her emotions is to project anger and hate toward the people around her, including you. Try to sit down and talk with your friend about this. Let her vent her frustrations, anger, hate, etc. and all you have to do is listen to what she has to say. Put yourself in her shoes. Your mother, someone you love, is diagnosed with cancer and you don't know if she is going to live or not. How would you respond? Would it be something like what your friend is doing, or would your reaction be completely different? Some people feel that they cannot show their sadness or anxiety about a situation, so what they do is be mean and hateful towards others, which is not the right way to go. Again, just sit and talk to your friend. I hope that if you sit and talk to her, she will change and become that person that you were friends with in the first place. I hope this information helps.

Answer 2

I hope you ain't as stupid as you sound! I mean come on the girl is in an emotional distress and here is her best friend blabbering on the internet wanting to dump her...

Just think if it were you in place of her and it were your mother who were diagnosed with cancer how would you have felt? And I don't suppose you would be dancing with joy! Your whole life would have changed in a second knowing the person you love most is not going to live for a long time!...

This is exactly how she feels, and you should be proud to have such a self respecting friend like her who is still hanging on, and though she doesn't show it she needs your help, not verbally or physically but emotionally. I know it will be hard but be with her in her time of need, that's what a true friend does...

Answer 3

You should probably talk to her about how you feel about these things more, and if she continues on with her behavior, then you should start to limit your friendship a little. Before doing anything rash though make sure she isnt going to commit suicide after her mother getting cancer and losing her best friend, because two things of that magnitude can really harm a person. Also you might want to tell a guidance councelor, or someone of that sort the situation and request that they keep your idenity annonymous.

Answer 4

I would say to just ignore her for a couple of days then if she ever comes to you just say can you stop talking about people in a bad way. I mean what if she was homosexual or a fat toad then she would feel bad and stop. you should have a nice long chat with her and she doesn't like you afterwards then fine just leave her alone. If you are a blonde then i would totally dis her. I am a blonde and i would be so mad at her if she said she hated blondes in front of me. Get back to me and talk. Bye

Answer 5

well to start off maybe u shud sit down with and have a nice long conversation about your concerns. then if she doesnt change then u should cut her off. as a bestfriend, they should respect everything you do whether or not they agree with it or not. if she doesnt really seem to want your help, then you shouldnt waist your time trying to help her. ur just waisting ur time trying to help her. if u cut her off and tell her why, and she just goes on with her life and doesnt apopligize for what she has said, then she wasnt meant to be ur bestfriend in the first place. she was just more like a lesson learn of what friends u shouldnt and should have. hope this helps u out!!!

Answer 6

well its obvious that shes going through a hard time....and it would be really sad if u left her at this point! U should just talk to her and try to clear the atmosphere....place your morals and priorities out there and tell her the things that bother u.....just talk to her (thats the right thing to do) if shes your best friend....you should be able to forgive her for her changes and try to aid her in her time of crisis....People are not perfect...they often have many flaws...but u should never look at the negative aspects about her...sit down and list all the things u love about her and y u chose to be her best friend and what she means to u...IM SURE ull realize u love her more than u hate her!

Answer 7

Your friend is probably on an emotional rollercoaster right now since her mothers diagnosis. Fear of her mothers illness leads to anger. She is acting out her fear and anger. Your friend does not need you to abandon her just now. What she needs is counseling. Get her to speak with the school counselor or some other professional. Be patient and kind with her. Talk to her about what is going on with her.

Answer 8

She needs therapy.

Give her some space and be there on occasion she may likely get worse dealing with her mothers illness.

Don't cut her off totally that is the last thing she needs. But do be there when you are together.

Answer 9

She has a lot of emotional baggage going on now.
You surely can't be expected to be her "shrink."
And since she is no fun to hang out with anymore, why bother?
I'd start seeing a lot less of her and a lot more of other friends who are more compassionate and kind-hearted. (Like you are.)
You don't have to totally "dump" her. Just see less of her until she gets professional help and gets her life together. (And I hope she will do that.)

Answer 10

Stick with her honey... I know it sounds harsh, and I know it sounds hard...but she needs you no matter how much she isn't showing it.

Because of the hard time...she just isn't sure how to express her hatred. She is most likely angry at the cancer possibly taking away her mother...and she is taking it out on everything and anyone around her. Just be there for her.