Is getting married at 18 young to get married even though we've been together 4 almost 2 years?

Question

Well im being told that me and my fionce are to young to get married well he is 17 and im 18 but his mom is signing the papers for us to get married. We are having a child together in january and we are madly in love but everyone says that we are to young. i dont think because if you love someone and they love you back then i think age shouldnt matter. As long as we love eachother i really dont see a problem.

Answer 1

You should definitely get married.
But you should also realize that you are really really young to be getting married.
So ... what do you do?

If you want your marriage to last, you be grown up and responsible and handle this problem like an adult.
Go get some marriage counseling.
Short on money? That is okay. You can go to any local church or two or three and seek the advice of the Pastor/Priest/Rabbi whatever you feel is best.
They will commend you on recognizing that you need to get married, and that you need to prepare yourself for it.
Marriage is not like being boyfriend and girlfriend. Especially when there is a child involved. You both must commit to each other in a very real way, learn to work out problems, meet responcibilities head on in a very adult fashion and just be good to each other.
You must not resort to screaming and yelling at one another, you must not run from one another when there is trouble, and you must NEVER resort to the arms of someone else once the marriage becomes 'unfun'.
If you two have been together this long, I bet you can make it. Just prepare yourself for the future and you will be fine.

Congratulations on your pending marriage and on your new gift from God, your baby. I wish you all the luck in the world. Don't let others live your life for you.
You are in love. Do not throw that away.
God Bless You both, I will pray for you.

Answer 2

As usual there are many answers there that don't answer your question and instead rant on about your age????? So here's the answer Yes it is normal! When you are in love you want to spend ALL your time together and that's the truth. So if you do get married soon, I want to wish you both the best of luck. It can be hard work but develop respect for each other. Operate as a team, you and your husband versus the world. Look out for each other. Say sorry regularly. Don't have babies for a few years, then you will both be strong together to give them the parents and home they need. Do lots of things together that you both like. Don't go to bed and sleep on your fights. Don't let a week pass without making love even when you are full term pregnant.

Answer 3

i dont think you are too young after all i am going to be 19 next month and just got married 2 days ago. however, me and my husband had our son BEFORE we got married. Consider this because a child is going to change your relationship in so many ways. I am not saying it will make you stop loving each other but once you have another person to be completely responsible for, that "madly" in love feeling will fade. Just wait until the baby's been born wait a few months and then see how you both feel. besides your husband being so young (girls mature faster than guys) he may feel the need to run away once the child is here so be careful. My husband is 4 years older than me so we are pretty much on the same level. Its not you i am worried about because I am sure you are ready but you r boyfriend is the issue. Just remember that guys your age dont think on your level just because you are the same age.

Answer 4

Yes, you should marry if you love him and are having a child. I married at 18 but my husband had a job and was 7 years older than me and that made up for how inexperienced I was. Many said I was too young but mentally I was ready for it even though i didn't know much about life. Age is not so much the question but are you prepared to handle life together, does he have a job to support you? Life is a hard road to travel, especially with a child. I Know it feels like you can take on the world, and love ultimately can, but marriage is a big thing and takes lots of self-sacrificing. marriage is a wonderful gift from God and I wish the best for you!

Answer 5

You are making a lifelong promise, and you arent fully developed. That means that you are making a promise for a person who isnt you. They might come through, they might not. You dont know the person you are going to be in 5 years, much less the person you are going to be in 36 years from now.

I know dozens of people who married at your age and they ALL say it was young. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didnt.

Be real with yourself. Right now you are not qualified to say how you are going to look back on this decision from 10 years after. You dont know. Be real about that.

If love was enough the divorce rate would not be 50%. Half of all marriages end up in divorce. This includes people who have been married for 30 years divorcing each other.

Things that need to go with love include: fiscal stability, effective and sustainable conflict resolution, clear communication, shared goals and vision, a commitment by family and community to support the survivability of the marriage. How many of those do you have? How many will you still have in 5 years?

90% of divorces are aggravated or caused by financial difficulties. How stable and sustainable are you two?

Answer 6

you are going to have to let this one hit you the hard way later on in life.
all i can say is from the age 18 to 25 yrs old your mind changes sooooooo much you cant even began to understand it because you are still only 18. as time goes on your mind changes and that's why there are laws for buying cigarettes and drinking and being a minor and all those things.
i had my first baby at 19 and i cried and cried while giving birth because i could not believe that i was a baby myself giving birth to a BABY!
men also change ALOT! as a man gets older he starts to fill in his body just like a woman's body changes after giving birth. when these things happen your mind also changes and you start to want to explore life out side of the only little world you have known for so long.
i would not recommend getting married because in a few years you will want to leave him because he will not be the same 17 yr old boy you married. he will be just the guy you had a kid with and when your not tied down to your kid because he/she is growing you will want to move on as well.
hope all is good for you in your future.
AGE DOES MATTER!

Answer 7

Im 19 and I just got married. However, I dont have a kid (or preg.) and my husband told me if it wasnt because of the Marine Corp. we wouldnt have gotten married so early. They give him extra money for housing so he can support me so its somewhat easier then if he wasnt in the military. Yes, you should get married if your in love and willing to spend the rest of your life with this person, but you are also going to have to deal with a lot more financial situations then you do know. Especially with a baby on way. With that said.. age is not an issue. As long as you are both mature and willing to stick togeather through thick and thin.

Answer 8

It's being realistic about life! And especially since you are going to have a baby! If you are responsible and mature about the decisions you are making.
When I heard my little brother was quitting school,I went to talk with him.In my desperation,knowing what it was to be a blue collar worker meant without kids.I wanted to spare him.He got so mad at me,he punched a door to keep from hitting me.His friend told me ,it would be better that I leave.I cried that day.Because there was nothing else I could do.He thought a 18 he was ready. 4years later,with 2kids he came to me,and said he wished he had listened.But once he was a dad, school was no longer an option.He HAD to work.He and his girlfriend got married.They are now divorced,and fight like cats and dogs.With the children in the middle.
If it's your parents telling you! They tell you from experience and love! Listen to them please!

*You need to rent the movie with Molly Ringwald "For Keeps!"*
Take care!

Answer 9

my husband and i got married when we were 19, i wont say that its the best thing, sometimes i think i should've waited until he matured a little more but if you both feel strongly about it and you think you can make it work then i say go for it but don't just do it because of the baby do it because you really love each other and want to get married and share your lives together. and marriage means just that, sharing everything so be prepared. good luck

Answer 10

What kind of a job do you have. Do you make enough money to support yourself, a child and your husband? Do you make enough to own a home, a car, purchase baby clothes and clothes and food for everyone. Other than knowing how to get pregnant, what other kind of job skills do you actually have? Do you have any kind of desire (at all) to even attend college or do you just want to leach off of other people and the government to pay your bills. Yeah, you're way too young.