we've only been married for four month and it seems like he has changed so much. in the short time we have been married he has texted friends (girls) from his past say that he wants to have sex with them and he should have when he had the chance. a couple of times he has gone and visit these girls at work. and he has been looking online at other girls and i used to just worry about him looking at that stuff at home but now he just bought the iphone so he looks at it on there. i'm a very self conscious person i wasn't when we were dating but now that he started things like this i'm back to being worried about my body.i just don't know what to do. i've talked to him about it and how it makes me feel but he continues to do it. so what do i do?
2007-11-08 11:22:07 · 13 answers · asked by so confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is disrespectful to you and its only been four months trust things will continue to go down hill.You are a value-able woman that the a kind and decent man will respect. Please believe in yourself. Cut your losses before you put in any more time.
2007-11-08 12:03:17 · answer #1 · answered by chocolatelovely2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not your body i have friends with stripper bods to and they sometimes get the same things .... its his nature so if your not able to live those fantasies with him and are so unwell with such actions then u should consider what makes u happy first and i also i believe that even if u tried ...it will probably never be enuf ... from people i've known to have tried to do so for sake of saving his/her marriage and some even being swingers -- nothing wrong with what they do if they are both well and comfortable about it ... but if your not and will just launch yourself in that u should be ready cause the many of them not all end up divorcing cause they enjoyed some other partner they shared with ..... so please dont' blame yourself if he doesn't know what he wants or if he can't respect how u feel ... if you feel so unwell and he is ignoring how u feel and you are suppose to be the one he loved and meant the world to him .... then i would surely hope he would try to even consider how u feel and put you and him first ... if he cannot do that for the one he loves then ask yourself why you should care how he feels if u decide to pass the sweep and leave and choose to be with someone who will consider u and put u first as u deserve ... u shouldn't have to put up with this to my opinion if it makes u so unwell and miserable but the only one that can make a decision from here on is you (never allow anyone to be your priority while they allow themselves to choose u as an option) good luck hun all the best be strong
2007-11-08 11:59:37 · answer #2 · answered by brandy d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting. I would say to have another talk with him. Put your foot down and let him know how disrespectful he's being to you. You're his wife and he should treat you as such. If he can't or won't, then unfortunately it's time to make a decison on whether the marriage is worth saving. It could be also he's going through a period of adjustment, but since you've already talked to him about it and still nothing has happened, talk again. If this is how he's going to be, you don't need him anyway. Good luck!!
2007-11-08 11:39:21 · answer #3 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you been married 4 months? how long did you date ? do you have kids to him? why are you still with him if you dont have kids with him?
Leave , no seriously I mean it , you dont need this emotional abuse and disrespect set the child free he doesnt love you .
The start of a new relationship has the lust lasting usually about 9 to 15 month's if there arent to many stress issues like money , kid's , ex partners so on and so forth.
By the 2nd year your still lusting , but you have more admiration and pride in your chosen partner.
When you reach the 3 year mark , your lust is fading into comfortability , you respect your spouse more and the honour and pride of knowing they are yours needs to be shown more in public then before .Your devotion to your spouse has set in about this time.
By the 4th year it's love and I mean true blown full love.A lot of people confuse lust with love and thats what they base their feelings and emotions on.
Love is about committment , trust , honesty , loyalty , devotion , admiration , the ability to be true to the spouse chosen without 2nd guessing or wondering what if.Love is about the comfortability and acceptance of life as it bring's you peace and happiness and harmony , it's about not feeling the need to get fine jewelry , cars , boats , houses , or going out for romantic dinner's that cost more then the couch you sit on at home to eat pizza.
Love is about accepting one's flaws and mistake's and being able to forgive .Love is about alot of thing's , but only love grown from true faith in the belief of love can bring everything I have listed.
Unfortunetly in today's society couple's never reach this level of love and seriously he's trying to have sex with other women he doesnt know what love is.
Sorry .
2007-11-08 12:02:26 · answer #4 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gee, what a bum, i had a couple of guys like that, and i felt bad about my body too . just plain get rid of him, you've only been married 4 months, so be it, my 2nd. marriage lasted 3months. didn't work because of the same problems you are having. cut your losses before more time is wasted, u deserve so much better, and don't ever forget that. sorry your having such a bad time, live and learn,it will get better.
2007-11-08 11:36:01 · answer #5 · answered by Debbie L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, you have talked with him,which is a start,but he obviously has no respect for you or he would have stopped.
talk to him again - reinforce how unhappy you are about what he is doing,let him know how it makes you feel about yourself, ask him if its a marrage he realy wants or would he rather be single........if its something you both want and your both willing to work at it,,suggest counceling
the fact that he has no respect for you is not good, and your already feeling bad about yourself
no one on here can tell you what to do,its your own descision and life,but it realy sounds like its something you should walk away from,,,,definatly dont put a lot of time or years into it if he is going to continue doing what he wants to do
2007-11-08 11:35:33 · answer #6 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like he's not a very good husband and is definately not going to be a faithful one. he obviously doesn't respect you or the vowels you's took together. I'd say as hard as it is, move on while you can, otherwise your heart is just going to get played with. remember you only live life once so live it to the full and be happy. best of luck to you..
2007-11-08 11:29:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How long did you know him before you married him? I bet it wasn't that long. This is what happens when you marry somebody you don't know. He hasn't changed. You just didn't know him very well. Now you do and you're finding that you don't really like him all that much and he isn't great husband material. Bet you wish you didn't marry him now, huh? If you'd gotten to know him better, this never would have happened.
2007-11-08 11:31:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
either keep whining on yahoo answers or get out of the relationship. why waste years with the knob head? u will never ever be able to get those yrs back. why be with someone who treats u like sh*t?
I srsly do not understand the human race
2007-11-08 11:27:44 · answer #9 · answered by lirpa 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
uummm get a divorce, he clearly can't seem to wanna be committed to you, so kick him out.
2007-11-08 11:29:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋