2007-11-08 11:20:27 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think she is right. She is looking out for your health and her own. I'm not saying you should quit, because it is totally up to you, but you should at least consider what she has to say.
2007-11-08 11:24:23 · answer #1 · answered by abaybay312 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Most likely, she is doing just because she loves you and wants you to be around to enjoy the "golden years" with her. She is concerned for your health and is just looking out for you. If she is giving you an ultimatum, I don't know if i would be too happy about that, but if she isn't and is just "suggesting" or saying "Hey, you have been a long time smoker and you really should quit...it is not only affecting you, but me as well." Then that is more understandable. She needs to realize that smoking is an addiction and she can't expect you to quit just at her suggestion, but she should definitely offer up her support through the process and be happy for you that you are at the very least, trying. You have to want to quit to make it successful. You will quit when you are ready. Another thing to consider.....is there maybe talk of a baby or a baby already on the way? She may be just getting ready for that because i know if I had a child or was having one-there would be no smoking anywhere near the kid. I wouldn't want the father to be a smoker at all....kids learn from what their parents do..no matter how many times you tell the kid to not smoke, there is a lot higher chance they will if one of the parents smoke because you are being hypocritical by saying "you can't do this, but i can".
2007-11-08 11:34:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We lived together for 2 years before being married.
All the while I smoked at home.
Within weeks of marriage she declared that she would like to live in HER house smoke free.
This was perhaps the greatest thing she has ever done for my well being as well as her own.
That was 32 years ago and our children were able to avoid the issues which come from being children of smokers.
You might rethink her request.
Where you ask is it right for her to ask you to quit, I guess the question might be, is it right for you to ask her to put up with your second hand smoke jeaprodizing her health, your bad smell and breath, watching you hack for air in 15 years and watching you die slowly in an agonizing manner from lung cancer or emphazima all the while knowing full well that this habit is expensive and unhealthy.
Well, how fair is that?
2007-11-08 11:46:19 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she can't tell you to quit. She can ask you to quit, but if she wishes she can go find a non-smoker. Of course, if you guys have made a baby, she has every right to ask you to not smoke around the baby and if the baby has asthma issues, to change your shirt before you hold the baby. Smoking is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad for your health.
2007-11-08 11:37:39 · answer #4 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You cant evaluate "right" or "best" without a rubric.
A pretty useful rule of thumb comes from spiderman: With great power (the right to do something) comes great responsibility (the necessity to do it).
Parents have rights over their children because they also have responsibilities for children.
If thats the rubric you use, then the question becomes: what responsibilities of mine or my girlfriend allow her to say this?
Are you responsible for her health (or lack thereof) by smoking? If so then you need to curb your actions.
How about money? Is she buying or are you? If she has been responsible in earning money, its hers to say how its spent.
Is your smoking causing her discomfort? If she is paying that price she can ask you to smoke outside, or elsewhere away from her.
2007-11-08 11:28:50 · answer #5 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, if you were a smoker when you met her, then she should accept the fact that you enjoy smoking and she should not try to change you now.
2007-11-08 11:32:24 · answer #6 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and no. Yes because she cares about you and your health. No because that was something that you did before you knew her. I smoke when I drink, which isn't often and my boyfriend of over a year doesn't like it. We haggle over it, but I dont' do it around him, he plays in a band so when he comes to talk to my friend and I, I don't do it out of respect. He still knows I do it. It's respect thing, I think and that's why I don't do it around him.
2007-11-08 11:55:14 · answer #7 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my boyfriend did that... i quit for a while... but its my body, my choice, and now i still smoke, just not around him (he thinks i stopped... :-/ ) and its VERY hard because I literally stop at the gas station on the way home from work and brush my teeth n stuff...
i wouldnt say its RIGHT persay... but i wouldnt wanna kiss a smokey mouth or hug either when i can smell delicious cologne instead or somthing
2007-11-08 11:24:52 · answer #8 · answered by KeLsO 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
yes it is
that means she cares about u and doesnt want u to pass away
thats a good sign
i would suggest u stop smoking
it will make her happy and u will feel a lot better trust me
2007-11-08 11:25:04 · answer #9 · answered by Chrissy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hey man she loves yaa a jeck of a lot that she wants to have you around in the best of your health to enjoy your companion ship at is fullest. today you may think that it is about her but tomorrow you will know it has always been about you!!!!
2007-11-08 11:31:30 · answer #10 · answered by cocon 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋