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How come women generally advocate non-interference when the issue is adultery?
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
I would say it depends on how well you know the person being cheated on. I wouldn't walk up to someone who was just an acquaintance and tell them that I knew their significant other was cheating on them whether they were male or female.

I really hope you're not trying to stereotype women - or any group - based on some answers to your Yahoo Answers question.
100% 1 Vote

Actually the person probably already knows and is turning a blind eye to it. What then happens when you tell is you lose a friend. So just keep out of it.

Unless you have incontrovertable proof of the wrong doing, it is best to keep your mouth shut so you can still be a friend when he needs it. If you speak up without proof, it can ruin your friendship. If that happens, your friend your friend will not have you to lean on.

I really think these answers do not address the actual question.

2007-11-08 11:12:31 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

8 answers

I did not see your question to give you the correct answer.
I myself will tell on anyone who is up to no good. The partner needs to know what is going on and i have no problem being the one who tells. If you have read any of my answers you will find that i am one who says what i think. I have told many of women on here just what i think of their cheating husbands and wives if that is the case. I have gotten many thumbs down and have been called a lot of names for speaking the truth. Sure we all would love to have a good man but when you think 90 % of all men cheat on their wives, that leaves 10 % who doesn't cheat. If the women only knew what they really have at home, sleeping in the same bed with them they would be shocked. I don't like cheater and i don't care who knows it. Is happened years ago, my best friends husband was in a bar flirting his a s s off with this girl, i couldn't get back to my friend fast enough to tell her. We both walked in and saw them kiss, my friend walked up and slapped both of them across the face and the girl run out crying.
If someone i knew saw my husband with another woman or just talking to another woman I would want to know and if i found out that my friend knew about it and did not tell me, I would be very up set with her. I have been married 3 times and all 3 a s s hole husbands cheated on me. When i see a man answer a woman who is hurting because her husband has cheated on her, the guy answers with (well i guess you never gave him enough sex) . I don't care if you please him morning noon and night a man will still cheat on you. Ladies it's not about how much sex you give your man it's about variety. My husband and i had good sex and as much as he wanted and he still cheated on me. I was the kind of wife any man would love to have but i guess my husband just wanted something different like all men do.
We have alot of good men answering questions in here,but for every good guy there is 10 Aholes making you look bad.
This is to all the loving husbands and boyfriends that answer, we know it's hard to hear all the male bashing that goes on,but the ones we are talking about and you know who you are deserves it.

2007-11-08 11:40:00 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0 0

I don't know why women advocate non-interference, or even if they "generally" do (the sample of those who answered your question was too small). I can explain why I personally would not interfere - regardless of whether my friend was male or female.

From my own experience, I realized that in relationships there's more than what meets the eye. What is unacceptable to me may be acceptable to someone else, and vice versa. I'm quite sensitive to people sticking their noses into my private business; I prefer to be given a chance to figure things out for myself. I understand that perhaps other people prefer to receive "tips" from others - but I can't possibly judge who would or would not want to receive these "tips", so I try to stay out of other people's personal business altogether. This said, each situation is different, and I suppose everyone should act the way they feel is right. To me, interference is justified mostly when it comes to kids and animals - not when the grown adults are involved. I'm a big believer in taking personal responsibility for your own decisions, and frankly, if I chose a husband who was to dump me and go live with someone else (been there, done that, actually) - well, shame on me; I don't feel it's anyone else's place or responsibility to rat him out to me. I made a choice to be with him, and I have to deal with the consequences.

2007-11-08 11:35:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I dont know where you got the idea "women" advocate non-interference , every answer I read when people ask should I tell is "women" saying tell tell tell , I'd want to know so tell.....

Seriously if they decide to tell then their lives are as slack and low as the cheater and cheater encourager , I have my own view's on telling and I dont care anyone else's opinion on it why?

Because my 1st husband cheated 5 time's and all 5 time's I was told by a couple of his male friend's , when I confronted my ex he swore he wasnt and that so and so was lying because they wanted to f*** me (yeah right cuz I'm such a damn super model ) and they were pushed out of our large group of friend's (whom I am sure 90% knew he was cheating but didnt wanna hurt me) know how I found out? the sl*t he was doing sent me an anonymous letter stating where , when , how and why.That happened 3 time's out of his 5 affair's the 4th affair I found out about off my son who was 7 at the time , the b**** lived with us and they drove to town holding hands in front of my kids how sweet , the 5th he admitted to during our divorce proceedings.

Telling doesnt save the marriage it doesnt end the marriage and it certainly doesnt keep your friend beside you they despise you for ruining their fun your deemed un-trustworthy so why bother ?

Sorry if this doesnt address your question but its true fact from a woman cheated on and lied to by someone who claimed they'd love me and only me till the day we died well I aint dead , but I aint in love with him either. If people had told me and shown proof , I still woulda stayed with him .Because I had kids with him and no family support everytime i tried to leave him my family encouraged me to stay and fight for him like a piece of meat.

2007-11-08 11:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 2 1

I choose non-interference because i have learned a long time ago that if someone is not ready to see it for themselves-even though the signs may be VERY obvious, they are not going to see it when it is pointed out to them directly. A few years ago, my best friend's fiance was cheating on her and I found out (Turns out he was sleeping and having an actual relationship with another good friend of mine that didn't know my best friend or even that the guy was married) I told my best friend about it and the "other woman" and had the other woman even meet with my best friend when she said she needed proof. After the meeting, she was still in denial and turned around and accused me of "just being jealous of her great relationship and wonderful husband. Just because I was single didn't mean that I had to try to ruin every other good relationship out there so i wouldn't be alone". In truth, I was actually very happily single at that time and was very happy for her and her husband-until i found out he was cheating on her. I told her out of the goodness of my heart and was trying to be a best friend....I ended up losing her over that because she chose to believe her husband. I have heard so many stories that ended up the same from other people....

I have learned that when someone is ready to see it for themself, they will. It will be clear as heck and they will be able at that time to handle the outcome, whether it be divorce, marriage counseling, or whatnot. They will realize it in their own time. If someone points it out to them, they get defensive. They don't want to look like an idiot because they didn't realize their spouse was cheating on them. They don't want to loose what is comfortable to them and have to face the fact that their marriage may be over. Which, in turn, could be a huge financial burden, social burden, and also emotionally taxing.

That answer your question?

2007-11-08 11:24:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4 1

That is how SOME women are. Then they turn around and gossip about it. It makes their lives seem a little better.

On the other hand, we as a people have become accustomed to minding our own business. "Just stay out of it" has become the norm. Why get involved in someone else's drama? I have my own!

Feel me?

2007-11-08 11:31:42 · answer #5 · answered by Califiyah 4 · 0 0

I DON'T advocate non-interference. If my friend's man is cheating on her, I tell her. If she was cheating on him, I wouldn't say anything. That isn't because she's a woman. It's a question of loyalty. I have a lot of guy friends, too and if their woman was cheating on them, I'd tell them, too. I wouldn't tell on my friend, guy or girl. I have no loyalty to my friend's boy or girlfriend. I have loyalty to my friend. And obviously THEY have no loyalty to my friend if they are cheating, so my friend needs to know. If my friend is cheating, I address them personally and tell them I think it's wrong but I won't tell on them.

2007-11-08 11:23:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 3

It is quite surprising, and I do not how it happens, Why don't you take up this matter to Community Guidelines of Yahoo Answers, Yours,
vrvrao

2007-11-08 11:18:02 · answer #7 · answered by Raghavendra R 5 · 1 1

I can't speak for other women or their preferences, but as for myself:

1) if my girlfriend knows my guy is cheating, then I'd like for her to tell me
2) if I know my girlfriend's guy is cheating, then I'm gonna tell her

2007-11-08 11:24:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 3

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