My wife has moved out of our home, with our kids to her mothers house. She moved out because we fight too much, also we are going through financial troubles but I am back on track. I am losing our house, and planning to get an apartment close to her, while I am reestablishing my finances. We talk everyday on the phone and the dialog is good, she is going to go back to school, to get a degree,she is also going to counseling for herself, she wants to find out why she keeps making bad decisions, she helped mess up our finances. She doing all this work for herself but mentions nothing about us? I don't understand what this separation is about nor how to react because I feel like an idiot waiting, if she wanted to work things out she would be doing that right?
Help me out World!!!
2007-11-08 11:06:53 · 7 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
mira gallo, it looks like this woman has put you trough hell.
Things don't always work out, I'm sorry about the situation your in, but it sounds like you need to move on, I was reading some of the other questions you've posted and it sounds like its been over for a while. You sound like a good man but we can't simply understand others motives, maybe she lost interest or love or someone new, or just confused but if she makes no comments about working things out with you.
It's time to move on buddy. Sorry
Espero que todo works out for you.
2007-11-08 11:18:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a lot of your problems together were her fault, then why not let her get herself sorted out BEFORE you two decide what should happen next? It sounds like she's trying. Maybe she wants to be secure in knowing that the decision she makes next is done without all the baggage of her bad choices in the past, that she is capable of thinking things all the way through, to come to the right decision. That she has her head on straight and her heart whole.
While you have this time, it wouldn't hurt to take a serious look at yourself too. Where you went wrong, what of this was your fault, and what you can do, both now and in the future, to do what right for your relationship and those kids.
Unless you both fix what went wrong, you will be in this same situation, or worse, all over again. Give it time.
2007-11-08 19:22:11 · answer #2 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is always better to work on yourself during a separation. You were one half of the problem, after all. And together or alone, you still have the same issues. Maybe she is trying to concentrate on one thing at a time. Since you guys are talking, try asking her in a non-direct way. Try saying it in a way that is non-accusatory, not demanding and non-threatening. Like, "That's really cool that you are doing all these things to help yourself. I want to work on myself, too. That way, if we ever got back together we might be able to get along better." This doesn't sound like you expect anything but it shows that you'd be willing if she was. And it gives her the opening to say what she thinks about getting back together.
Good luck.
2007-11-08 19:18:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A separation should be for both of you guys to have time apart, to meditate on what went wrong, then to get help for the problem. Just let time go by so you both can heal. Maybe with time you will want her back or you might think that you are better off without her.
2007-11-08 19:11:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask her flatout. maybe she needs time to get herself together before she thinks about your relationship. by going back to school and getting a degree, she'd be providing a better life for your kids because she could get a better paying job. but simply ask her where do you see yourselves going? are you drifting in separate directions or simply on a "break" until everything is straightened out?
2007-11-08 19:12:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask her. Maybe she just doesn't feel up to making any decisions about you as a couple until she has her own house in order, but let her know you still want to work things out. Let her know you'll wait for her, if she's unsure or just needs time, but to please let you know as soon as she knows herself.
2007-11-08 19:13:30 · answer #6 · answered by Rebeckah 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yup, separation leads to divorce. If she really loved you she wouldn't have left. I don't know your circumstances but it doesn't sound good. Give her a little space and try to get her to admit what she really has on her mind.
2007-11-08 19:11:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋