wife is not sexual . what can i do about it?

Answer 1

Get used to it. I doubt any amount of talking about it will change her feelings toward sex. It would be rare.

Answer 2

95% of the replies are rubbish. If she is not sexual, well she's not sexual. My wife is the same way but i believe in commitment.

Here is probably what you experience. She does not get aroused ever. You can't arouse her (except once you are actually in the act of sex). It's not that you don't have the ability unlike most blokes on this website will tell you. When you do have sex you probably feel like she is just doing out of obligation instead of her genuinely desiring you like you do her. There might even be a sense of guilt from that because you think it is all about you instead of 2 people desiring each other. In fact, you might prefer on occassion just to whack it so don't have to deal with that. Am i right on any of this?

There is no solution to this. Some woman just are not sexual. Here are some things to help.

Serve her. Especially if you have kids. Little ones can be such a drain and sex is the last thing on her mind especially if she has low sex drive.

Date her. Be intentional about getting one on one nonsexual time with her away from everyone else.

Connect emotionally with her. Get into her business and details of her life. Get beyond surface communication with her. Remember she is your best friend so don't settle for 5 minute conversations when you see she talks with her mom or friend for 30 straight minutes.

These won't turn her into a sex machine, but she will want to have sex more.

Answer 3

Kids? maybe she needs a break, maybe she's so busy with everyday life she doesn't feel sexy. Without pushing remind her that you find her very attractive, then take some of the stress off her hands, take the kids for a day, then find a babysitter for the evening, tell over a nice dinner how much you miss her, how beautiful she is to you... Women tend to be caretakers and forget about ourselves, and this is where sexuality comes from. I went through this, until I met a man who understood that it was more that sex. Good luck, if you love her you'll work it out.

Answer 4

I love how ppl just say "leave" or "find another one" When things get rough...leave??? I dont think so. What happened to commitment??

There may be many reasons for her not feeling sexual. She could be going through something emotional (maybe even depression) and you might not know about it. She could be resenting something..maybe she is just so busy and tired from the day.

I would suggest talking to her about it. Maybe try doing some more things around the house to help her out...so she isn't so tired/stressed. Maybe telling her more often how sexy she is.

or maybe she is sexual and you need to bring out the wild cat in her!

Answer 5

Well, sweetie, maybe you aren't the lover you think you are. Just getting an erection and banging her head off just don't get it.... you may need some help. Being a good lover is not a thing that comes naturally. So, sweets, maybe the problem is you, not her.

Read a few books, and maybe seek help with a sex therapist. "For Each Other" by Lonnie Barbach.... the leading sex therapist in the country today, cheap, in paperback, with all sorts of hints.... Her other stuff is good as well.

Answer 6

Have you talked to her about this?
Is she a touchy person. meaning likes hugs and kisses.?
Is she going through menopause?
Is she having a tough time right now(work,friends,family)?
If you are old fashioned take her out and make her feel special. Dinner, being close, maybe flowers. watch a chick flick or something she wants to watch.
Massages are always nice, but you have to be sexual about it, and make the moves while doing it. when making it finally happen. Make her feel like shes doing how the movies do it. Embrace, feel, kiss, touch, and smell . every part of her.

Answer 7

Talk to her.
Look at your relationship and daily activities...are you both doing your fare share ...do you both have large work loads? Are you or have you been treating each other well? What medicatons does she take?
Evaluate your own situation beeing brutally honestly...ther within lies the answer.... Oh & if you have kids, have been arguing or there is the possibility of depression these too are contributing factors.

Answer 8

That's really too bad... especially if YOU are a sexual person.

Because there's not much info on your question, I really don't know where to start. If you think it's workable, then do whatever it takes to turn it around. If not, turn around and walk out of that door!

Answer 9

Play Marvin Gay's "Sexual Healing" over and over again.

Answer 10

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Answer 11

That stinks dude. Try rubbing her down there in soft strokes and turning her on...make her want it. Sometimes it takes a woman a little longer to warm up.