I am 14, and supposed to go with my dad every weekend. I honestly hate him, and enevr want to see him again, but the custody order says I must see him every weekend. He will not reason, or let me skip a week. I don't enjoy the time with him. All we do is fight and the times we don't fight, he ignores me, yet he still wants me to come. I wanto to know, if at 14, I'm allowed to say no, I don't want to go, and not have to. My friend is in the same situation, and she is allowed to stay home, because she is older than 13. Does the same apply for me. I live with my mother.
2007-11-08 09:31:09 · 11 answers · asked by Julia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My lawyer said the magic age is 13, at least here in California.
You can just say what you want, you don't have to go to court unless the dad insists on fighting it. And then he will probably lose, unless there is something drastically wrong with your mom.
2007-11-08 11:12:10 · answer #1 · answered by stenobrachius 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to talk to your mother about the way you feel. If you are not happy; then you should not be forced into seeing him. You are old enough to make your own decisions @ 14, but it's best you have your mom back you up on this. Also, you need to express your dislike of your father to him. let him know you would rather not see him any more. That may change his tune a little, and he might start acting like a real dad. If all else fails you'll have to go to court, but that should be a last resort.
2007-11-08 09:39:32 · answer #2 · answered by diablo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends upon the state you live in, but I know that courts listen to kids younger than you. If your mom knows that you really don't want to see your dad, she needs to talk to her lawyer and go back to court. At 14 (and 13) I think it should be your decision whether to go or not. Maybe you could go once a month instead, or just spend an afternoon with him occasionally instead. It's too bad your time with him can't be more pleasant, as it seems he's not helping the situation or your relationship.
2007-11-08 09:39:24 · answer #3 · answered by N L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You DON"T have to go with your dad if you don't want to even if the papers signed by a judge says that he is allowed every weekend or everyother weekend..It doesn't matter your age.. For example my almost 7 yr daugther haven't gone with her dad since last year besides he doesn't look for her but & we have a court order too...But in the case he gets to take me to court I will take my daugther and she will be able to speak and tell the judge she doesn't want to go and spend time with him... SO the same for you no one can force you to go there if you don't want to even if he calls the police or even the president..Just talk to your mom and tell her that you don't like to go there to please understand how you feel and just don't go ...if this gets big and the police is involved just be honest with them and they will be on your side no matter what the court papers says... best wishes!!!
2007-11-08 09:43:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you hate your Dad, that's an unfortunate situation. In order to make that decision, to not go to his house at all, I believe you and Mom have to petition the courts. I am not positive about this, but I am relatively sure that you cannot just say "no". Have your Mom check with her lawyer about the situation. Good luck to you, and please, make sure this is a decision you can live with forever. I don't know your Dad, but I'd assume something like this will make him never want to see you again. Make sure that you're sure that at 21 you won't want to reestablish communications with him, it may not go well.
2007-11-08 09:36:35 · answer #5 · answered by amyguesswhat 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The ages vary state to state and county to county. I would think that you are old enough to decide. Have you discussed this with your mom? If you have not I would do that. Does your mom have a lawyer. If she does she can call and ask him. If she does not have her call legal aid and see if she can get some answers. My son started to refuse to see his dad so finally his dad quit coming. It has been 5 years now.The visitation schedule is a guideline and is not written in stone. I would not think that you would have to go. Good luck.
2007-11-08 10:40:35 · answer #6 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes your old enough to give your statement to a family law judge. have your guardian to go to the court and file a modification for visitation and the court will set a hearing up and you go with your guardian and explain to the judge why you don"t want visitation but if you fear him and don"t want to give a statement in front of him have your guardian to ask for a guardian ad litem this is a laywer apponited to you to speak for you in court. 14 is the age when you can make your own decision on who you want to see.
2007-11-08 09:46:21 · answer #7 · answered by country boy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the state you live in ...its usually up to the parents to work out the details until u r 16.
I never made my kids go with there dad, Never, The judge said it was up to him to force them to go. After a while it got easier on everyone,,,he got tired of the fight and got them less then after a bit they got along better because it wasnt a resentful issue.
God Bless
2007-11-08 09:37:29 · answer #8 · answered by Mel37 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, but u have to convince your mom to go back to court to amend the visitation order. The judge will ask you what you wanna do.
2007-11-08 09:37:36 · answer #9 · answered by jean grey 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have you mother contact an attorney and ask them how to proceed...at your age a judge will definitely want to hear what you have to say about whether or not you want to spend time with him.
2007-11-08 09:35:48 · answer #10 · answered by Notagain 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋