I've been seperated for 2 months and working on a divorce. My husband is precrastinating. I met this wonderful guy on yahoo personal's. We've been dating for 3 weeks. We've fallin in love and now he asked me to move in with him. Are we moving to fast or is there a such thing of moving to fast. Is there a such thing as to how long you need to know someone to be in love or to move in with someone after a previos relationship? Should I wait to the divorce is final. I mean there have been people that's been seperated for years and never got a divorce and live with there significant other. I have a son and he loves my son more then me. We have a great relationship and are very compatible with each other. I want to move in, but my family says I should wait and get to know him more. It's like I already live there because I'm always there. I just hate asking for advice because people tell you what is suppose to be right other then what they would really do if they were in that situation.
2007-11-08 09:22:04 · 14 answers · asked by sweetcheeks 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First...good luck to you and congratz on finding happiness. Second....I'm currently in the same situation. The thing I have learned is to follow your heart, and don't listen to what anyone tells you. Only you can make yourself happy. If you feel in your heart it is right, then it is. There is no such thing as moving too fast, sometimes things just happen, and you know it's right. If you ever need an ear, send me an email. =)
2007-11-08 09:28:49 · answer #1 · answered by Hazy Daisy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok I didn't even need to read but 2 of your sentences to tell you that you are making a mistake. First you don't know this guy, he could be a child molester for all you know. So answer your own question should you move in with him that soon HELL NO!!! Also I am telling you what I would do and I definately would not be moving in with a stranger. Sounds like he's the rebound guy and if you've only been seperated for two months why not wait a little longer to see what happens. What's the rush if this guy really is into you he will wait for however long it takes. You really don't know him it takes more than 2 weeks to get to know someone sometimes years.
2007-11-08 17:35:35 · answer #2 · answered by KH 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to slow down and wait until the divorce is final before moving on Let me give you a variety of things to consider here. First, if you move in too fast you have to face the risk that your husband can ask for custody because of the fact that you moved in with someone you only knew for 3 weeks and before the divorce was final.
next, you have to consider why the divorce? If you rushed into that and were the one who decided you didn't love your husband and left, how do you know that is not what your are doing again now? If it was your husband who left, the fact that he is procrastinating in the divorce may mean that he learned a lesson and, since you loved him enough to marry him, perhaps if you don't go to counseling and try to at least talk about that to him, the day may come in the future that you will wish you had - my mother regretted for some 20 years that she hadn't done that with my dad in the same situation as you are in now, and they spent those years regretting what could have been had their pride not gotten in the way of talking.
Also, you will have to deal with him on matters of custody and visitation anyhow and if you don't explore all the possible ways to save the marriage, the son may one day hate you for leaving his dad, like one of my brothers did for a while.
As far as the new guy, I don't think 3 weeks is enough time to really know a person that well or love them unless it is some things you love about him but there may be other things that he hasn't shown you that you are not going to love. Will he be jealous if you talk to another guy, innocent or not, for example? Will he be upset when you have to talk to your ex husband regarding visitation, any medical care your son may need, schooling, and so on.
Will he be supporting you or will you have to work to support him. How many children does he want if any? Does he drink when you are not around and is it a can, a sixpack or a case?
In this day and age, why is he using a web site to meet girls and not meeting the girls I am sure are in his world around him? There are a lot of good people who meet that way but also a lot of losers as well and 3 weeks I think is not enough time to tell which he may be. Since you say he loves your son more than you, there is even a chance that he is a pedophile for that matter. If you are going to get into this relationship, check out handwriting wizard to see what his handwriting tells you about this guy, and yourself for that matter. I will give you a link for that. We have to live each day as it comes but when it comes to marriage and divorce we have to look to the future as well. think long and hard before you move on or you may end up regretting whatever you do next. I hope it works out for the best for you. Good Luck.
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2007-11-08 18:07:41 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will suggest you to wait ..First because it is too soon get to know him much better... Second you are still married and if you move in with him it can be used against you like an affair even if it is not an affair but for a judge it will be and can't give you custody of your child.. THIRD Filed for the divorce and even if he doesn't want to signed then the court give him certain time to do it if not the divorce is finally signed by a judge... Then when everything is legally OK ... and your relationship is better every day .. move on and continue with your happy life with your son and your new partner ... best wishes :)
2007-11-08 17:37:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't even need to continue reading this! Are you kidding me? Three weeks you've falling in love, dating and you have a kid and considering to move in with someone that you barely even know! Don't insult me or anyone that you tell this to that you think you know him because sweetheart stop thinking about just you, are you kidding me what about your son? Sweetheart slowwwwwwwwwwwwwww down your moving entirely toooooooooooooo fast! You shocked me even considering a relationship in three weeks! Try a month or two! Date heck get to know him more because you don't know him! He could be a child preditor or something you had the nerve to write he adores your son more then he does you? What's with you? As for your husband if your really thinking like that this quick he needs to take custody of your son from you if he's in a better position! Because I don't know what led up to this fast and blooming relationship but your bugging out moving this fast! Baggage alone should've been a slow down for the guy but it wasn't what's his motive with you really I mean keep it real with yourself at this point!!!!!!!! Why wouldn't he want you to handle your situation with divorce first? You really scaring me here..... My advice to you handle the baggage and focus on your son and what he thinks of the relationship, continue to date and fill it out! Just a little while longer because when do one really think they know someone before or after they get hurt again for jumping into a fast relationship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sweetheart please just slowwwwwwwwwwwwwww down! God will prepare you for a man first, and things will come full circle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Focus on your son right now, he needs you and he needs to know that you love him and that the divorce and seperation from his father, you and his father can learn to still parent and raise him with fine morals and values in life!!!!!!!!! Parenting is a two person atribute not just one!!
It's called family unit! God bless and watch over you and your decision making process......................
2007-11-08 17:41:14 · answer #5 · answered by rita_hiemy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whooeeeee....back up the truck, girl!
You need to slow down and breathe...you're not even out of one situation yet and already you're in another one?
Yes, indeed, do wait....you don't know this new guy. Three weeks is NOT enough time...look how long you were with your husband, and apparently, you didn't know him very well, either.
If this new guy is the "real deal", he's not gonna disappear overnight. Take your time, get your divorce over with, and then see how it goes.
I think you just gave me a headache moving that fast....Sheesh!
Good luck!
2007-11-08 17:31:58 · answer #6 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
S T O P!!!!! You are possibly making a HUGE mistake here. You're willing to move in with someone that you have only known for 3 weeks??? Come on sweetie... you've heard of rebounding before right?? Well that's what this is. Now I'm not saying that it can't turn into something long term, but right now??? Come on!!! Not only is the ink not dry on your divorce papers yet, hell there's not even any ink on it! You need to move slow on this one, and make sure you're doing it for the RIGHT reasons.
2007-11-08 17:57:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't move in with another man after so short a time of separation. You could be going from the frying pan into the fire.
2007-11-08 18:23:40 · answer #8 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After having been separated for only two months - yes, you're moving too fast.
2007-11-08 18:12:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's the rebound guy. You're gonna have a fun for three months. Ride that roller-coaster, honey!
2007-11-08 17:25:36 · answer #10 · answered by TryItOnce 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋