Can You Tell us at Least 3 Things You Never Allowed ?

Question

your child or children to do? Name more if you'd want. I've got a list for my son, poor kid.

Here's my list:
No drinking of any alcoholic beverage
No smoking or inhaling anything
No joining of any gang
No stealing, lying, cheating or cursing
No sex
No tattoos
No piercings
No baggy pants
No drag racing
No speeding
No dyeing of hair
no on line chats

Thank you everyone for your input, my son's list has grown. For the poor in faith, children rise to the level of expectation. Have faith, talk to them often and they will be good. That whole "it takes a village to raise a child" teaching is true. I make sure my family gets involved in raising my son. You all will help him too. Never underestimate the good that will come from a child.

Answer 1

1. They were never allowed to go to someone's house to play/visit, etc. without the parents at home and those parents' permission.

2. They were not allowed to just 'roam' - we had designated neighborhood areas where they could ride bikes, skate etc and they had 'check in' times to report back

3. They were not allowed to be sassy...and when they were they were disciplined...we tried to teach them there are ways to make one's concerns known without being smart mouthed...

I know there are a lot more things...but you said 3...lol

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Edit: Wickwire...some to the things you listed are particular to today's culture and I never had to think about those! But things like alcohol, sex, drugs YES! Had strict rules concerning those.

Answer 2

I dont know how old your son is but good luck with that --

By the time he is a full blown teenager you are going to see dyed hair and baggy pants as not worth fighting over, and as for the no sex rule?

ROFL It will depend entirely on your son. I think every parent in the world has tried that and most with no success.

What you need to do is keep communication open, dont be harshly judgemental if he breaks YOUR rules and let him know he can talk to you about anything, and I mean anything and you wont faint, scream or go nuts on him. You will just nod and say "I see" "how do you feel about that then --" and hope to gently influence his choices so he makes wiser ones the next time

My rules were:

1. no parties or sleep overs on school nights
2. no hanging around the mall
3. no swearing or using racist language
4. no using my stuff without asking
5. be considerate of neighbours and polite
6. no skipping school (yah right)
7. no drinking or drugs
8. no tatoos, no pierced tongue or nipples

and my daughter came home with a gecko tatoo on her stomach and a pierced tongue

9. dont do anything that endangers anyones health or life
10. always always phone home if you are late, or if you need a ride
11. DONT ever get in a car with someone who has been drinking
12. always leave a phone number where you will be when you go out.
13. i get to meet ALL your friends and dates
14. no TV before evening and not until homework is done unless it is pouring rain or -45 C and you cant be outside

Answer 3

Well my list will be shorter than yours. But here goes.........
1. No cluttering. They had to pick up their things and put them
away in their room, or wherever 'it' belonged.
2. No fighting with their sibling.
3. No bad language.
4. Bad manners at the table.
5. No back talk.
6. Keeping their rooms cleaned, including vacuuming.
7. Doing homework before play activities.
8. Later, no smoking or drinking
9. No stealing from anyone, especially stores if they didn't
have the money to buy something they had to have.
10. To be polite to all adults in our home and in anywhere in general.
11. Keeping themselves neat and clean and not looking like
an 'unmade bed', with their hair messed up before leaving
the house.
12. Cooperate by going to bed at a decent hour for school
at 9:00 or 10:00 at the latest when in highschool

Answer 4

Wickwire,
Easy there dear, remember when you're old and doddering around and your son is taking care of you--He'll be making a list for you!!!

"Hey Dad here's my list."

No drinking of any alcoholic beverage
No smoking or inhaling anything
No joining of any gang
No stealing, lying, cheating or cursing
No sex
No tattoos
No piercings
No baggy pants
No drag racing
No speeding
No dyeing of hair
no on line chats

Answer 5

No spring break trips.....anywhere.

No all night Prom parties.....ever.

Curfew strictly enforced or grounding and loss of privileges were immediate and severe.

When they were little......

No television before bathtime and only for an hour before bed....they were sent outside to play.

Homework FIRST!!! Before any playing.

NO phone calls during dinner hour... business concerns of my husband required dinner to be between 5 and 6:00PM....if the phone rang, nobody answered it....period....no exceptions.

If they were outside playing in the neighborhood in the summer, they had to be in the house before the street lights came on.

Everyone had Saturday chores around the house. No one went anywhere until all chores were done....and no phone calls either.

Didn't let them go to the mall to "hang out". If they weren't going to specifically buy something they needed, they didn't go. No Mall Rats in my house.

Dress appropriately for school....and I decided what was appropriate.

No ear piercing until they were 18 and able to pay for it themselves.

Neither one was allowed to have a car while they were in high school. They walked to school. If they "had a date" they could use the family's 9 passenger station wagon; provided they washed it the next day and replaced the gas. Mileage was checked before and after. 9 passenger station wagons aren't really very cool.....so, there was not much cruising around town just for the heck of it.

By the time each of them turned 15, they both had part time jobs....they could work Thursday, Friday and the week-ends.....The money was all theirs....but I insisted that they put at least 10.00 from their paycheck in their savings account. (A rule they really appreciated when they graduated and wanted to buy a car)

Participation in family events was mandatory...that included attending birthday parties, weddings, get-togethers, whatever. They didn't "stay home".

All friends had to go home when we sat down for dinner.

As they grew into their teenage years, they could have friends over after dinner but everyone had to leave by 9:00PM.

Must have done something right....my adult children are great human beings and fine parents raising good kids......

Answer 6

There are many things I never allowed, (lying, talking back, cheating/stealing, etc.) however we can't be with our kids 24/7 and believe me, you never know everything they do unless they tell you later in life. I know, I was a kid too.

Most kids go through some rough teen years, but it's what they learn to do, that will carry them through. Here are 3 things I prefer on the 'to do' list, instead of 'don't do' when dealing with others for example.
1) Love
2) Compassion/Empathy
3) Forgiveness

Answer 7

No swearing
No stealing
Nt hurting other people deliberately
No sex before marraige. (In the late 60"s)
Home by 12 midnight even after I had been in Europe for 5 years, and was over 21.
No movies on Saturday afternoons. (That was where all the supposed bad stuff halppened).
But that was another time, and another place.

Today, you have to cope with so much more.

Answer 8

My children are not allowed to do the following things:
Talk to strangers
Do drugs
Smoke
Drink alchol , until they are of age
dive without a licence..
anything illegal
to leave me in the store, because they are so young, i cant trust people..
to be rude in anyway
and there is so many more,, just too many to list..

In all they must be respectfull to people and understand that they have to do the right things..
Deb :)

Answer 9

Stay out past midnight on the weekends.
Smoke
Wear excessive make up.
Cuss
Wear revealing clothes
Date boys more than a year ahead of me in school.
Get below a C(which was considered average).

Answer 10

Having raised a daughter that needed to rebel at EVERYTHING, I can confidently say that if you expect to actually ENFORCE those "rules" of yours, you are going to be disappointed.

What you SHOULD BE DOING is giving your son a good grounding in morals and ethics and leaving him (reluctantly and with much nail-biting I assure you) to make his OWN decisions.

TALK to him. Let him know your own philosophies of life. Let the kid absorb your ideals...many kids will use the template of a much loved parent on which to build their own characters. If you show him daily WHY your way is so much more rewarding than the instant gratification of so many teenagers today, then he WON'T be one of those who falls by the wayside into the drugs and gangs lifestyle. But if you actually FORBID IT you may end up pushing him in that direction!

I had to learn this lesson the hard way with my youngest daughter. And then when, at the age of 15, she disappeared downtown to live a drugs and party lifestyle I had to sit back and just WAIT until she came to her senses on her own. It was a very hard thing to do. But SHE finally woke up to the fact that she was running hard towards her own death, and that it was NOT what she wanted, and she changed. She remembered all those things I had taught her, and started thinking about them, and then let those things lead her back home to me at the age of 17...a much more sober and evolved human being.

Give your son those tools. Then trust him to know how to use them. And do the hardest thing of all...step back and let him get at it!