My partner on purpose waited years played harmless games tested me before he said he was in love & proposed marriage to me later when he wanted to do it earlier.He says he knew all along he was in love & wanted to make me his wife.We just made out not consumated our relationship.He played games tested me.Should i wait till marriage hold out he wants to make love have kids now.Since waited years to hear he loves & proposal of marriage.Hes single in 30s powerful successful professional im in 20s professional.
Not played games tested in return here i want kids he knew it.He truly deeply loves me wants to make me his wife why wait years to say & propose marriage on purpose.He says hes late should have done it earlier not later.He wants to make love have kids now we are committed.He said he knew all along he loved me wanted to make me his wife.This doesnt involve any girl or other guy we love each other committed to marriage.Serious answers.Breaking up or therapy not options.
2007-11-08 08:04:49 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're a professional butcher of the English language.
2007-11-08 08:09:21 · answer #1 · answered by Opps 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Do what feels right, or, what your heart tell you that you should do. I will, however, share with you my own personal experience:
I fell in love with my wife when I was 12 years old, just a kid, and for the next 10 years I tried to get her to date me, even kiss me, anything, and never gave up. I dated other people, I did my own thing, but she was the one I was saving my true love for. Over this period we became the best of friends, talked every day, but still, nothing more. Finally, when we both got out of college, she had gotten out of a bad relationship, and decided to give me a chance.
We began to date, and I proposed to her two months later. We got married a month after that, and our son was born 9 months later. We bought a big house in a nice neighbourhood, and then our daughter was born 5 years later.
We stayed together in a happy marriage for twenty years, and then out of no where, she wanted a divorce. She began to date other men, and moved out, and a year later we were divorced. I still love her, and I always will.
It's all about your priorities. I don't know exactly what it was that I did wrong, but if I could go back I wouldn't change a thing, because I did all that I knew how to do.
If you're ready, then you're ready. If you're not ready, then that's all right, but you have to put your priorities in order from greatest to least, and see where marriage and commitment falls on that list.
2007-11-08 08:17:22 · answer #2 · answered by Kemp the Mad African 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you said he in his 30s?
When man turn their 30s they usually start panic because all his pals is married and have kids, man like to compete with each other.
my bf's bro is in the same situation too, he was telling us how all his friends talked about babies stuff all the time, and they all have wives so he decided to married someone he only know for a year......
you should ask yourself, do you really love him, even though he wasn't sure about you b4 (i don't know about you, but i don't believe when he said he knew you are the one all alone, then why didn't he propose? i think right now, he is just trying to make you feel better....)
2007-11-08 08:15:27 · answer #3 · answered by Kristine 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If therapy or breaking up are not options for you, then you are in for a really rough ride ...!!!
Sorry, but this sounds like an unhealthy, roller-coaster type of relationship.
You both sound like you have issues you should deal with before considering having kids. Children are always the innocent victims of adults' selfishness and mistakes.
2007-11-08 08:11:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would not have children with someone I am not married to. You have waited 4 years and since he is truly and deeply in love with you and wants to marry you then Have a wonderful wedding and honeymoon. Hopefully you can come back from your honeymoon expecting. You are young and his age makes no difference in regards to having children.
Once you have children with him, there is no need for him to marry you as your not going anywhere. Let me say that being his babies mama won't get you anywhere.
2007-11-08 08:26:32 · answer #5 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This hits home with me for one reason, my sister had a boyfriend, then they had a child, well, they were together for years, and she wanted him to propose to her, and because of his past relationships with other women, he waited to propose to her for a long, long time, and this was years, he kept my sister at bay.
So, she was wising up, he finally proposed to her, and she said no, you waited this long to propose to me, you are going to have to wait until I am ready now to get married, and boy, he did not like that!!!!
Well, it was good that they did not get married, because he was busted for drugs at his house and he got busted for making and selling drugs at his house.
So that is why he never proposed to her, and she was smart to say no.
Just ask him, and if does not want to get married, then it is time to move on, I also had a friend who dated a guy for six months, and he had no intention of marrying her, but she did not know that until she talked to him about it, then she knew the truth, and broke up with him.
2007-11-08 08:19:51 · answer #6 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until he puts that ring on your finger before having kids.
If he's truly committed to you, he will give you that. Up till now you have played by his rules, waited for his timing, jumped through his hoops. If he won't wait till then, you might have to ask yourself, is this yet another "Test" that you are required to pass? And what if you fail? And why is it only you who were tested? Why is it only you who had to prove yourself worthy?
Please be careful, he sounds controlling. Be sure that this is the man for you, AND that he will stop these "games" before having children together. Protect yourself and those children yet to be.
2007-11-08 08:31:41 · answer #7 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently you have waited years for his proposal....if you didn't want to wait around for a marriage proposal...then why did you? You had the choice to leave......and still do
2007-11-08 08:09:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
dont you dare!!!! get pregnant before you are married to him, or i guarantee he will find a reason not to marry you, and i know you are smart enuf to realize that. the truth is guys are not ready to marry any more until they are older, he may not have meant anything personal to you about it. i can recommend a book 'why men marry some women and not others' by john molloy that outlines exactly why this is. i recommend you read it, it is all about you.
2007-11-08 08:38:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is lying. How many years did you wait? were you legal? He is already married, and keeping you as a spare.
2007-11-08 08:20:06 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. BlinK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋