Why Are People So Against Bottle Feeding? I tried breastfeeding but..?

Question

I am bottle feeding my newborn.Through my pregnancy I had planned on breastfeeding.I read all about it and felt certain I would breastfeed.Well the night my daughter was born I was sent to postpartum about an hour after I gave birth. She came out of me hungry. (She was literally rooting 5 minutes after she was born!!) But instead of getting a half decent nurse, I got Broom Hilda! This nasty, wicked woman came into my room and started off by literally shoving my baby onto my breast.I was shocked and very angry.Everything I'd read said NEVER to force a baby onto the breast.The nurse got mad and was a real b**ch to me. Right then I said to myself, screw breastfeeding.I demanded the nurse get me a bottle and leave me and my baby alone.My baby was crying and hungry and I was determined to feed her. I do feel some regret about not breastfeeding but she is thriving on the bottle.What I would like to know is why so many people look down on bottle-feeding?My child is healthy and nourished.

Toddlers Ate My Brain - (I agree, you have no brain) , Shera and Lil Pump. Just to clarify for you Breastfeeding Nazis, I DID continue to try, and my daughter continued to refuse to latch and cried hungrily for food. This went on all throughout the hospital stay and for a few days after I came home with her. Eventually I decided to just go with formula feeding and she is a happy and well fed infant. There is nothing wrong with formula, yes breast is best, blah blah blah..but when you can't or you choose to bottle feed it shouldn't be the end of the world. I was bottle fed and have a successful law practice and graduated at the top of my class. And I believe back in the 70's when I was born, formula wasn't nearly as good as it is today. I will not be made to feel bad/guilty because a couple "breastfeeding nazis" tell me I should feel bad. Wouldn't surprise me if one of you were the rotten lactation nurse I had. And "Do your own thinking", I threw her out of my room. Enough said.

Answer 1

i don't understand why you would bottle feed your baby to spite some nurse who you will never see again. You showed her huh?

I'm against bottle feeding because we, as a society, are very much in danger of losing the most basic mothering abilities. Including how to naturally feed our children. That scares the crap out of me. We are the only mammals that have to "learn" how to breastfeed and that knowledge is retained by fewer and fewer mothers each generation.

Rooting 5 minutes after birth is totally normal and shows that your baby was ready to nurse. I can't understand, from your explaination, why you would have "demanded a bottle" when your baby KNEW how to nurse?

The other reason so many of us are against bottle feeding, is because: while formula allows babies to survive, it is not the perfect food for them and is too darn pervasive.

This is a good article on the controversy:http://www.todaysparent.com/baby/breastfeeding/article.jsp?content=20030807_101250_216

Answer 2

I am so sorry to hear about your horrible experience with nursing.

I had my second daughter last week, and made it very clear to the staff that I was to be brought my daughter after the rest of the medical personnel had left the room and things had been cleaned up. I also made it very clear that she was not to be given a bottle, and that if they insisted she feed, that they bring her in to me, and not give her a bottle.

With my first, I tried to breastfeed, but it just got too frustrating to deal with. There were no decent lactation consultants available to help me, and I was only 18 years old and very clueless. (11 years ago - at least I hope I've learned something since then)

There isn't so much a slough of people against breastfeeding so much as that those people are very pro-breast. It's a very personal choice and an important one for a new mom to make. I am a breastfeeding mom now, but I wasn't always. The most important thing is that your baby is healthy and being taken care of. It's also important that you not feel guilty or come down on yourself for not breastfeeding.

There have been many studies showing that breast milk has a lot of added benefits compared to formula, but some moms may make the decision that the benefits do not outweigh the drawbacks of being a nursing mom; and that's ok! It's important for mom and baby to both be happy so as to ensure a healthy environment for the baby to grow in.

Again, sorry to hear about your negative experience. Some people are just very passionate about their own personal choices and they choose to push it on others. It's a lot like religion in some senses.

Best of luck to you and your new baby :)

Answer 3

People have a lot of reasons for their feeding choices, and most family choices are very personal. Therefore, they're a matter of strongly held beliefs.

I'm interested, however, in why you say, "I tried breastfeeding." In your story, you said, "Screw breastfeeding" an hour after giving birth. That's fine, but it's hardly the same as women who try to breastfeed. I've seen women using nipple shields for inverted nipples, taking medicines and herb teas, changing their diets, pumping at work, hundreds of things to make a breastfeeding connection that didn't work. They tried to breastfeed. You considered breastfeeding, that's different. It's great, it's fine, but it's different.

I have a word of advice. There will be almost nothing you do as a parent that some idiot doesn't judge, from your feeding, to the clothes your kid wears, to what you read to them. It gets worse every year, too. Lots of people who never had, or would have, a child will tell you EXACTLY what you're doing wrong.

Do what works for you and your family, and try to forget the notions you had about your perfect mothering from what you read while pregnant or before. You've made your choice, so be a proud bottle feeding mother and enjoy your baby. Don't worry about trying to look better to breastfeeders, or use expertise as a "former breastfeeder" to sound more valid. You're valid, just as you are.

Among my mommy friends there are dedicated breastfeeders, women who want nothing to do with it, women who tried and switched, women who went to the wall for it, and some who've done it all. They're all mommies, they're all fine. Some have regrets, one way or the other. A true friend tries to help you move past regrets to new ideas, because babies rock, and that's the important thing.

For me, if I make it until May (which seems likely) I'll have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for 20 years. That choice, which happened to work for me, might be the least important choice I've ever made as a parent.

Congratulations on your healthy baby. :o) Have fun.

Answer 4

Do not let the way people might judge you affect you and your baby.

Breast milk is best expecially for the immunities.

But...

A happy baby and mother, I feel, are even better. If you want to get the best of both world I would reccomend pumping. (Medella double pump with the motor is the only way to go).
I tried breast feeding and it just did not work well for either kid. Who knows why, I am sure I gave up early but it hurt, I cried and she did not get enough to eat.

I still hold her close all the time so she gets the human touch, I know how much she is eating, I am happy and she is full. Plus other people can be part of the joy which means that I can take a nap and grand ma can feed the baby.

I pumped for 6 months and was able to store so much to keep going for a while. It took about 10-15 minutes each time and I got it down to 4-5 times a day and not every feeding. This varies for each mom.

Oh did I mention that she was hungry so I supplemented with formula also? Love those Omega 3s for her brain! You can mix formula and breast milk if necessary.

I did not have any issues with her diapers using both milk and formula.

Do that works best for you. Let others judge becuase they do not know your situation. Only your family matters.

Answer 5

She was not right to shove the baby onto your breast. I would have reported her behavior. Unacceptable... HOWEVER, if you would have taken any parenting classes or done even a few hours of research you would know the benefits of breastfeeding. Your child is healthy. Your child is nourished. But you can never go back in time to give your child everything that breast milk can do for your baby. Not even going to go into detail about how much closer it makes the baby feel to you as it's momma.... It makes me sad when parents don't embrace all of the new information that is available to them! Your local community college probably offers a class teaching nutrition for infants and young children. This class might even help you as your baby grows into an older child... Good luck

Answer 6

As long as your baby is eatting, that should be fine. Breast feeding is however better for the baby. I breastfeed both my boys for 18mos each and I'm so glad I did. They never had ear infections, collic (if that's the correct way to spell it) or colds and they didn't blow up and look like babies on steroids.
It also creates a bond between you and your child unlike with bottle feed children. That's not to say that you don't bond with your baby if they're not breast feed, its just a different kind of bonding. I also liked breast feeding for the convience as well. I didn't have to worry about getting up in the middle of the night to warm up baby bottles and prepare formula. I could go and get my baby out of his bed and take him to lay down with me while I feed him. There were a lot of benefits to nursing... It's not too late, you should try it.

Answer 7

Oh I hear you there! When I had my baby, there was one nurse who kept shoving his poor face into my breast for about an hour. He was getting so mad and hungry and for a while after that he wouldn't even come near my breasts. He ended up being bottle fed the whole stay at the hospital. The nurses made it so stressful and seem so essential I breast feed that I was too frazzled I to do it. After much work (because of nipple confusion) I did get him to latch on, but didn't like it. He took his sweet time feeding and I never got out or got to do anything because that's literally all I did.
Finally I gave up and we just bottle feed. I'm much happier and I have a very happy baby.
Sometimes I feel guilty I don't breastfeed, there is like some weird social pressure to do it or your a bad mom, but I'm getting over that. I am a better Mom because I'm happier not breastfeeding. Our babies will be fine on formula. If it were really bad for them, they wouldn't make it so easy to obtain.
Don't feel bad. Your baby will be nourished and you can find other ways to bond.

Answer 8

My oldest was born with a birth defect that I could breastfeed. he was born with cleft palate and have to use special bottle. I tried pumping but I couldn't so I bottle feed him. With my second one I did able to breastfeed but when he almost two months old I had an emergancy surgury with taking my appendix out. I had to put him formula. After the surgury and the pumping the breast milk wasn't keep him filled up. I breastfeed and give him formula. And nobody didn't say anything they just left me alone. You did try but that nurse seem to mess everything up.

Answer 9

Of course your child is healthy and nourished...that is why formula was created! I am sorry that a horrible nurse turned you off to the experience of breast feeding...I nursed all of my birth children, and I absolutely loved the feeling of knowing that I was contributing to the fat cheeks and rolls on my baby. BUT, when I was ready to stop, I was grateful for the bottle and how easily my children went for it! It is a choice nowadays, plain and simple...unfortunately, your first choice was trumped by a battle-axe

Answer 10

You only changed your mind because of a nurse that was in your opinion not capable to do the right thing?
I bet she'd done it a hundred times before. Did you ever even give your baby one chance to try to suck on your nipple? Even if she shove it on to your breast....your baby has to learn how to swallow the nipple, and the midwife I had did exactly the same thing. It didn't do any harm to my baby, I breastfed her for 18 months.
I think you used this Broom Hilda as an excuse for something you didn't really want to do from the beginning.
There's nothing wrong about that, bottle-feedling is O.K. but why put the blame on nurse Hilda?
I totally agree with Lil' Pumpkin !

Answer 11

People are anti-bottle feeding because they figure you have the perfect food for your newborn right in front of you, why don't you use it? I think if you're willing to make the effort to put the bottles together and warm them up and feed your baby, then by all means! The formula they have out now is trying to get as close in nutrients to breast milk as possible.

I think one of the only reasons why I'm still breastfeeding my son is because I'm too lazy to make the bottles up. I know it doesn't take much effort but I'd rather just lift my shirt up.

Good luck with your daughter! It sounds like you're doing great.