My husband and I have been together for 6 years. We have a wonderful child together. Unfortunately, these 6 years have been very rough to say the least. My husband has been very unsupportive of me, hiding money from me, and make me feel very isolated from his family (he is an extreme mama's boy) on the other hand i have been in arguments with him and been very quick to say mean things to him that were very hurtful. We briefly tried counseling and i don't know if it would be worth it to try it again. I know that I do not love my husband anymore but I also do not want to hurt him anymore either. My husband wants to try counseling again but I would think that after 6 years of someone promising to change that the chances of them changing are slim to none and i do not know of any counselor that can change the way my heart feels. I am very depressed and i am sick of seeing all parties involved unhappy over this - especially my child.
2007-11-08 07:24:41 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Move on. In order for your child to be happy, you need to be happy and you're not happy right now. Life is short and you need to do what it takes to get ahead in life and this douche is just dragging you down.
Think about it.
Good luck!
2007-11-08 07:27:23 · answer #1 · answered by ►solo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in kind of the same situation, I have been married for 6 years, and times have been hard as well. We are actually currently in counseling, but to be honest, I don't know how that will work out. I do not love my husband any more. And like you said, how can a couselor change the way your heart feels? I am going to do everything I can to try to make this work because we have 2 kids, so I feel like I need to really make sure and give it time. In my situation my husband wants to work it out. I have not had the heart to tell him my feelings have changed. Marriage is tough, and when it does not go well, there is no easy answer. I don't know all of the specifics of your relationship, but I do believe whichever decision people make, it will be the right one.
2007-11-08 15:35:44 · answer #2 · answered by pink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are certain characteristics in a person that can be changed. But when it comes to a mamma's boy who still hasnt learned to put his wife above anything else after 6 years & a child; I don't think he'll change! It might be a nice thought by him wanting to try counseling again, but at the end of the day he sounds like he'll definitely still go above & beyond for his family over you. A man needs to know how to prioritize the people he loves. And a wife is supposed to be right up there with the mother or perhaps more important or vise-versa.
My father was the same or maybe even worse. For 21 years, my mother stuck by him for my sake thinking he would change. In the end, he left her for someone else. And of course I was mad because she shouldve thought of herself first. I had a very strict childhood & would've been more than ok with them splitting long before that. Trust me, your child will thank you!
It's been about 5 years now & I finally got to enjoy my teenage years before they ended and my mother is happily enjoying her life with ought an unappreciative husband & enjoying every minute of my neices.
2007-11-08 15:42:49 · answer #3 · answered by oOrbyluv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a tough spot. You can't change him, but you can change what you are doing. Treat him like you want to be treated. Be kind, caring, giving, selfless, sharing, understanding, tolerant, patient, have unconditional love, honesty, faithfulness, be slow to anger and quick to forgive. When you marry you become one flesh. Your wedding vows that you took said that you vowed to stay with him for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer until death do you part. If you leave for any other reason than him committing adultery you will be breaking your wedding vows. Your child will suffer the most.
Read 1 Corinthians chapter 13 in the Holy Bible, and you will know what love really is. Love is a choice. Choose to love your husband the way God intends for you too.
2007-11-08 15:39:23 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I were married for five years. Your situation sounds very similar. We have two small kids. 3 and 1. I finally started to think about myself and left. No one was happy. I had been sleeping on the couch for a month. I knew it was over. It really is the hardest thing to do, especially when you have children. Good luck. I wish you all the best. This will be the hardest decision of your life. Think first!
2007-11-08 15:32:48 · answer #5 · answered by tdot224nyc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time to move in. Its hard to get those feelings back, if it hasnt happened yet, its probably not going to happen again. Its hard but you have to let him know its over. Theres no point in you being miserable the rest of your life just because you dont want to hurt him. You must be a good person though - to put other peoples feelings before your own :)
2007-11-08 15:30:12 · answer #6 · answered by mmcnum1fan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been through divorce and have kids - do everything possible to salvage your marriage before you throw in the towel. No matter how rough it seems, the alternative is harder than you think. Unless there is abuse, keep at it until you've tried everything.
2007-11-08 15:30:23 · answer #7 · answered by dhdaddy2003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
move on. if you aren't happy in your marriage, then your husband or child aren't either. you all should be happy and if that means separately, then do it
2007-11-08 15:28:28 · answer #8 · answered by mommacat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋