Stay-at-home mother and child custody; what are my chances?

Question

My husband and I recently separated. We live in NJ. We have a 2 year old son and I've been a stay-at-home mom since he was born. I'm currently seeking employment but as of yet no job. If this goes to court, I want to fight for full legal and sole custody because I think my husband is unfit. He also has an impressive criminal record (nothing new in the last almost 3 years though). He almost never played with or took care of his son while we were together and now I think he will want to fight for joint custody to avoid paying child support and to have power over me. I'm having mutual friends documenting their observations of him as a dad (not too good), and having them signed and notarized. He barely makes time to see his son now that we're apart and until my son is old enough to decide for himself, I want custody. With or without a job, what are my chances? Also, I can't afford a lawyer. What legal help can I get if we go to court? Any advice would help. Thanks.

His history includes drugs, assault, robbery, and 2 D.U.I.'s

His criminal history includes drugs, assault, robbery, and 2 D.U.I.'s and he has been clean nearly 3 years.

Answer 1

You're going to need to talk to a lawyer. You can call a Legal Aid help line in your state. Generally they do low cost or pro bono work.

If it goes to court, I know that you and your ex can expect a psychological evaluation. My uncle does those for his state.

Answer 2

Here's the thing....your husband's criminal record has nothing to do with your son. If he works, he can prove you are unfit. There are a couple of things you need to think about:
1) Sole Custody: does not mean you don't have to work b/c you will have to work.
2) if you have a college degree or work experience, the courts will impute child support that should be coming from your end b/c it is seen as you are able to work and have to reason not too. They estimate how much you should be making and add it in as if you are making it.
3) Here in NJ....there's a law called "Tender Years Doctrine" because of this you'll be granted Sole Custody until your child gets a little older.
4) Joint Legal Custody....does not mean he does not have to pay child support....it means you both are considered equal (50/50), so your expenses should equal his. Joint Legal Custody means 2 or more nights out of the week he has him.
5) NJ has a Legal Aid office that helps those who can't afford a lawyer. Talk to them.
6) I suggest you get a job b/c you are not working and criminal history or not, he was good enough to be your husband at one time so thats no excuse. Go to craigslist.com and click on NJ and look for a job b/c if not, he'll probably get custody based on $$.
7) Make sure whatever writings you provide from your friends are actual facts and don't attack his character because he could turn around and sue them for Slander.

Answer 3

In court, if you have a job and neither of you have an attorney, you should expect to be able to show that your husband is not the perfect father and he has done some bad things in his past, but in his defense, your witnesses are not experts, he has kept himself clean for three years, and not being seen playing with his son is not enough to remove all his parental rights to custody. His custody will increase if he hires a lawyer and you don't. The flip side is that his custody will decrease if you hire a lawyer and he doesn't.

I suggest hiring a lawyer to get the custody you seek and getting at least a temporary job until you can return to your full career potential so you will have some means of financial support.

Answer 4

Talk to a lawyer...NOW.

If necessary, he can help you with a restraining order - although you haven't said if any of the assaults were domestic, or even if he has beaten you.

Unfortunately, in the eyes of the court, possession of a penis means that you are an unfit primary caregiver...until or unless the possessor of said penis can prove that the partner not in possession of a penis is unfit and a danger to the child. Warped, yes, but it is the (slowly changing) reality.

Since your husband has a criminal record involving intoxicants and violence, you have a good shot at it. However, since he's kept clean for the last few years, you will have to argue for it. The notorised statements will help.

Answer 5

You need a lawyer. Since you are not working at present you have no income to speak of and will certainly qualify for legal aid. Phone your local legal aid office.

1. Unless your husband was abusive to the child you likely will not get sole custody, but you can always try.

2. Joint custody does not preclude child support. You can have joint custody with primary care and control to you which means he still would pay.

3. Even if it is shared custody (50-50 time split) child support is still a factor. They take what you would pay per month based on your income and what he would pay per month on his income and split the difference.

Answer 6

You can't do this without an attorney. Since you have always been a stay-at-home Mom, you MAY get alimony. The court is going to look at what is best for your son. One-sided reports from your friends will probably not do much good. You will get lots of answers here, but an attorney can tell you what can actually happen.

Answer 7

"could" is an without end arguable question. In maximum states there's a formulation that defines required contributions to the youngster's conventional of living consistent with parent's earnings. (It gets complicated - considering that supplies, funds circulate and different issues additionally impression the case regulation and choose's or court's determination) besides, its no longer a question of "could"; it incredibly is an elementary question of regulation. many times, answer is confident. And btw, who's that this "all of us" you declare to communicate for? Are you the "anointed one"? the way the courts seem at it incredibly is if the mothers and fathers have been married the two of their earning could be partly going to help the youngster's life. there is not any reason, in the event that they do no longer look to be married, that the youngster could go through by way of shortcoming of a marriage. If one parent is making 50 cases what the different is, then it is going to possibly no longer make plenty experience, however the money won't the custodial parent it is going to the youngster's welfare. (by way of fact the court's seem at it) He could additionally be considered neglegent for no longer getting help till he's wealthy. of direction, custody could be contested and the court's in maximum states PRESUME the mum is to be the popular custodial parent. plenty for honest and impartial.

Answer 8

Just about zero if you plan on using answers from here as your legal strategy. Probably very good if your hire a lawyer. A good lawyer can make your husband pay.