There's this "girl" at work who is clearly a man. She wears way too much makeup to hide her stubble, has no woman hips, and has a manly build/face. She told 1 manager that she has 3 kids and a husband. Her drivers license said she was born in 1981. Her sex/gender is scratched out. She said she got married at 12 and has been married 25 years... Her oldest kid is supposedly 15. So being married at 12 with a 15 year old makes her about 37. But by her license she's only 26. Then just the other day she told someone else that she was born in 1964 which would make her over 40. She looks around her early 30's but it's hard to tell with all the makeup (you can clearly see the line where makeup ends and skin begins).
She's also lied about many other things at work from money to kids. She also said she got her tubes tied but then complained about cramps... I'm wondering if she can't help it or if she knows what she's doing and there's a possibility of some other mental issues. Any thoughts?
2007-11-08 07:17:00 · 5 answers · asked by Kaylyn 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I don't have any problems with people changing their gender, I just hate all the needless lying and wonder why she does it.
2007-11-08 07:18:45 · update #1
All the hate, ouch.
All I'm asking is if you think she's aware of what she's doing. It's affecting her job performance and it's only a matter of time before she's fired or let go. It's not just her gender, it's EVERYTHING. She lies about giving money to people, she lies about her other job (she told her other job that she left for a family emergency and hasn't gone back but came to work where I work).
She has issues that need to be dealt with if she wants anyone to respect her or be nice to her. You can't trust someone that lies about everything and anything.
2007-11-08 08:10:57 · update #2
Wow. Anyone being a pathological liar to this level, is a risk for harming those they work with. Your examples only address the gender issues, but obviously, that alone IS NOT WHAT all this is about. And yes, it very easily could relate to mental illness, since lies can be a component of that. Not diagnosing, just a fact (which I know from experience with a family member).
Some persons accept lies as a normal part of humans. It is.. to an extent. When working with others, it is reasonable to expect SOME extent of honesty. A lot depends on the kind of business this is, and if the level of lies MIGHT harm others.
I've also known persons with gender issues, including at least one who went as far as surgical gender changing. The issue was personal... but it did NOT lead to (or need to) create that kind of dishonesty.
I'd ask myself honestly, if there is any risk to others in the work place due to not being able to trust what this person says. If there is... maybe you can talk to a trusted manager/supervisor in confidence and express your concerns.
2007-11-08 09:19:07 · answer #1 · answered by wendy c 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Or maybe they just want your acceptance...Why does it even bother you? If it makes her feel more like a woman then that's what she needs to do. She is no longer a "he." It's really unfortunate people can't just accept others, even though they are different. She is probably having a hard time, and doesn't need people at work asking stupid questions about her transgender issues. Maybe she really is a woman though, with hormonal issues, or a Y chromosome and really is older? You never know...Anyway I feel bad for her, she is obviously uncomfortable with herself and it sounds like she has good reason with people like you judging her....just my two cents, I hope this will help you have more compassion for your "different" colleague...
P.S. Who is she hurting?
edit: If she isn't hurting anyone then life is good...If she is hurting someone please explain how...She is definitely hurting herself but it sounds like you aren't close enough to her to get involved.
2007-11-08 15:31:54 · answer #2 · answered by schwhat? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone is this messed up, the less time you spend with them, the better. Be nice, but have only necessary contact. My guess is that there's no stopping the constant stories "she" tells, so just let it go in one ear and out the other. Somebody like this feeds on drama, so you want to avoid providing any at all costs.
2007-11-08 15:28:43 · answer #3 · answered by Terri J 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you on one part, let people do what they want, it's their life. But they should be open and fearless about it. As for this person... they very well may be a pathological liar, perhaps they've been lying to themself for so long that telling the truth is nigh on impossible. I'd have to know the person to really tell however.
2007-11-08 15:23:02 · answer #4 · answered by Cogito 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you care and why are you obsessed with her? If someone like this was around me I wouldnt even think twice about it. You must be fearful of something. Who cares if she lied? A lot of people lie, that dosent make it right but they do.
If you're not her friend I wouldnt even worry about it.
2007-11-08 16:02:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋