My husband is facing some financial porblems. And he has asked me to support him and stay by him and told me he loves me and will get back etc. I am a lawyer. The problems my husband is facing are with legal matters. I KNOW how to solve it. He could be on the streets soon enough if he doesn't get help.
My husband knows I am lawyer, right? Then why is it that he has not yet asked me to HELP HIM!!! I easily could! But he wouldn't even ask me if I know a solution. He just said that xyz is happening.
Does he disregard my quality or did he think I woulf tell him naturally? Is it his ego? Or am I being silly?
2007-11-08 06:24:03 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have I ever told you Valerie that I am from USA? I am not.
2007-11-08 06:33:51 · update #1
That is a typical ego problem. When men begin to lose control of their lives, they take control wherever they can to gain their "manhood". In this case, he is losing control of his financial stability so he must find an aspect of his life that he still has control over and enhance that. For instance, assuring that you will be beside him, he knows that his relationship is still good. Asking for help may make him feel inferior because men want to have all the answers. Just assure him that you are there and let him know that if he needs "help", maybe you could call a friend. That way, it's still leaving him in the drivers seat but you're there to "co-pilot".
2007-11-08 06:35:28 · answer #1 · answered by Sandy J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not silliness, but you gave this comment, "I easily could!"
It is just as wrong for a spouse to "withhold" love, as it is to give something negative. Commision and omission.
It seems that YOUR ego is at subject as well as his. Since you are the one who seems to have the "easy" fix, then being his wife, it is not only your responsiblity, but your "privilege" to jump right in and give of yourself and everyway possible.
Being a lawyer, throw your intellectual reasoning out the window, and become his "wife". Loving, caring and giving.
Understand, solving HIS issues, will solve YOUR issues. You are married for goodness sake. You are speaking as if you are talking about a client. That is conerning.
Make it work!
2007-11-08 14:36:23 · answer #2 · answered by splashdesign238 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, dear...Even as a practicing lawyer you should realise you never get involved representing family or friends.
If you are truely concerned about the outcome, get his attention, tell him you are worried and to take care of it. If he won't get a referral from your office, get a referral somewhere. Sometimes guys get a little thick when it comes to paperwork and legal stuff and just hope that it will go away. It is a stress thing. With kind regards....Finn.
2007-11-08 14:32:41 · answer #3 · answered by Finn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's not your ego. It's his.he might be feeling inferior to you right now. but if you live in a community property state you might want to think about the finacial effect his problems might have on you. either way find someway of helping him or he might end up resenting you for it later. even if it's just the name of another attorney you know that can help him.. you don't want to impose a conflict of interest in his case.
2007-11-08 14:33:12 · answer #4 · answered by lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know how is your husband but if he is a very nice person then he is not telling you because he doesnot want to be in any problem of his work because he always wants to see you happy my friend. Or may be it may happen that he is facing a problem that he do not want to tell you. May be that is his secret but I think that you should force him to tell. Trust me he will tell you if you force him or else maybe he cannot tell you. Dont worry.
2007-11-08 14:32:01 · answer #5 · answered by Raj Chan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is his ego and pride that will not allow him to ask for help. The same as a man not asking for directions when lost on a trip.
Good luck.
2007-11-08 14:28:33 · answer #6 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you made this whole thing up.
You obviously aren't a lawyer in America- that is for sure! Lawyers here don't use words like "silly", and they never refer to themselves as "Lawyer" - they call themselves "Attorney".....
Nice try though- but Valerie is a lot quicker than you might think!
LOL
2007-11-08 14:28:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why are you waiting for him to ask? Why not just go ahead and do what you can to help. He may be embarrased to ask for your help because of his ego. Be a supportive spouse and just do what you can to help without him having to ask.
2007-11-08 14:31:38 · answer #8 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont know why he isnt asking for help. Maybe he assumes that since you havent scooped him up and saved him that you have no solution. Just help him. ( who really knows why he hasnt asked, just offer though).
2007-11-08 14:50:09 · answer #9 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its his ego.. plus he is a fool then not to ask you ... as i would .. my be hes has put himself in the sh.t.. and didnt think to ask you.. if so could you help him please .. thank you. and by the way good luck..
2007-11-08 14:32:25 · answer #10 · answered by rpetch007 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋