Should I live a single and celibate life?

Question

I'm 23 years old and I've lost 70 pounds. I went from 210 pounds to 140. I did not gain weight on purpose, by eating, or not exercising....it was due to a medication I was taking.
While I feel good physically, I do not feel good mentally. During the process of losing weight...my stretch marks have become worse and my stomach looks disgusting and saggy....so are my breasts. While I do feel pretty good in my clothes, I cannot bear to look at myself nude. I feel like a disgusting person. I was involved with a man who I thought was "wonderful". He seen me nude, he broke up with me 4 days later and said I needed to work on my body more. This has brought me to the point where I do not want to date or have a sex life. For a while I thought of suicide, but I knew that was wrong and I do not want to hurt my family or friends. Should I simply give up the chance of having children, a husband and live a single, celibate life? Many of you will say have surgery, I cannot afford that.

Answer 1

I'm sorry the guy you were seeing was such a completely shallow jackass. He should have been happy you'd made such progress and suggested the following:

Cosmetic surgery. My coworker had it done and it was an amazing transformation! Flat, smooth belly, and the stretchmarks went with it. He saved for 4 years and he's a college student, so it CAN be financially managed.

What you need to do is maybe consider getting some counseling for your depression, and remind yourself daily that the guy who treated you so badly will hopefully (someday) get run over by a truck or something, and then he'll have eternity to contemplate why he was so callous toward you!

Good for you for doing something positive...and keep up the good work!

Answer 2

Your 23, you could find some exercises to tone up your body, Granted , 70 lbs , will leave a lot of loose skin. And as to the stretch marks, they will fade some over time. But, don't give up on life, because some shallow male made a remark that broke your heart... He's not going to find a perfect woman, for the one that may look perfect to him chances are, is not going to be perfect to live with. On the other hand, at 23. you still have a long life ahead of you, and trust me, there is a man out there that's going to love you for who you are.. Now, you work on toning up your body, and most of all work on respecting yourself. You, will achieve your goal if you reach out for it and persevere. Hugs,

Answer 3

Don't give up on men just because one guy was a shallow jerk. There are plenty of decent guys who will see YOU, not the stretch marks. Don't let this one jerk determine the course of your life - he doesn't deserve to have that power.

Take control and talk to a therapist about your body image issues. Learn to love and respect your body, stretch marks and saggy stuff and all. Once you love yourself, it will be a lot easier to find other people who love you too.

Answer 4

First off, don't you feel better losing that amount of weight? You've got to have more energy and be able to do things you'd never done before.
Now, establish a healthy diet and exercise plan you can stick with. Don't set unreasonable goals. Target a part of your body you want to tone and get to work!
As for the loser who said you need to work on your body, work on it for yourself, not for anyone else.
Once you see the results you want your self-confidence will go through the roof and you'll have more than one gentleman caller.
Good luck and God bless.

Answer 5

all people chooses their course. only considering which you do no longer persist with them does no longer mean your incorrect. all people is likewise telling me to get married and in case you do no longer they think of your gay. I surely have understand many married human beings on the time my male buddies could bypass away the homestead and say i admire you and 3 blocks down the line their leaping on another skirt. some abuse, and so on. in step with probability it incredibly is only me yet have not considered a satisfied marriage yet that would make me opt to get myself into it. you may chosen to be celibate yet over the years have superior friendships with women that I actual adore. some are married which they stay buddies some have become fans. there's an excellent difference between intercourse and love making many only have not got a clue. a number of my married buddies have suggested there is his time and there is my time yet there is no longer our time. which skill many when you have married lose that intimacy that desires to be there. I additionally hate some state telling me i choose their permission to marry and a few non secular chief working my life. such as you i'm contented and dearly love my woman buddies. definitely the distinctive women i understand should not be married to those jokers that don't shield the. Had one-nighters in my time yet that quite is intercourse and later in life found out the actual paintings of seduction. The bonding and loving of a woman is surely individuals that understand what i'm talking approximately like it and individuals that only have intercourse properly save going yet you will in no way understand the exhilaration of a woman.

Answer 6

You should work on your self esteem, and not take what one shallow insensitive man has to say. It is great that you lost that much weight, and losing that much weight does leave saggy tummies and boobs, perhaps some toning would help, but , really don't let him get you down on life and love and a future, he is not worth it. there are men out there that are not insensitive and shallow. My sis- in-law was able to get a tummy tuck for free, she convinced her Dr that it was painfull and causing rash and soreness in the fold. So she said.

Answer 7

Absolutely not. Everyone deserves someone that loves them. And I'm sure hes out there for you. They guy you were with was an A**Hole. Obviously he wasn't there for you he was there for what was in your pants and when he didn't like what he found he split. Keep searching for someone who cares about you. I'm not exactly the best looking person in my birthday suit either but my boyfriend is still there and even says I'm nuts when I mention a flaw. Those kinds of men are out there. Keep looking! And congrats on losing weight.

Answer 8

There are PLENTY of men who will like you for who you are, not what you look like. this guy was a loser. as long as you have a good personality and can find a way for you to love YOURSELF, you'll find someone to love you.

Answer 9

if a man leaves you because of your appearance, then he wasn't worth bothering with. You will find a man worthy of your love, he will love you for who you are not what you look like.

Answer 10

Find someone who loves you the way you are.