I am the type of girl who grew up wanting a life for my child. I never had one. My mom has 4 kids and 4 baby daddys. I am white catholic girl. I grew up goin to church and a lovely grandmother who did everythin for me. I will never be like my mom. I always wanted to have one baby daddy and one husband. I am emotional being pregnant and what not and I always will regret not being married. But I kno now of days there aint no such thing as no baby daddys but I dont care. Thats what I want. Is it wrong to complain about it to my boyfriend? Or do you think thats pressure? He always says one day it will all work out. I mean I dont think I am wanting to get married b/c of the child I kno I love him and he loves me but is it wrong to even tell him I want to get married?
2007-11-08 05:07:18 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I think it's okay to have a conversation about getting married, but not okay to complain or to nag him or pressure him into it. I am sure both of you feel very overwhelmed right now, and it might not be the best time to be making a permanent decision like marriage.
When I was a teacher, there was a girl and a boy who conceived a baby. They wanted to get married right away, but the girl's mom suggested that they wait. They dialed back their relationship to just dating, no sex, the whole time she was pregnant, and they went to pre-marital counseling to help them develop the right attitudes and skills that you need to make a marriage work, like conflict resolution, budgeting and all that stuff. When the baby was 3 months old, they had a wedding, a real wedding with the dress and the veil and the party afterwards. Only then did they resume sexual relations, and by then, it wasn't guilt-ridden, but a real joy because they'd worked at making it right.
It was really a great situation for them. They've been married for 13 years now and have three more kids (four altogether). He's got a good job and she went to beauty school and works part-time as a hairdresser when the kids are in school. They are very happy with each other and now they have that "dream" that they thought they'd lost when they got pregnant at 16 & 17.
You and your boyfriend will need a lot of support because you sort jumped into parenting really early, but you can have everything you want in life. In the meantime, when you need to complain, tell a girlfriend or tell your mom or tell God, but don't gripe about it to your boyfriend. Take care & may God bless you all.
2007-11-08 05:18:22 · answer #1 · answered by sparki777 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is wrong to "complain"! Only because at this point when your telling him that you want to be married your also telling him that you "ONLY" want to be married because of the baby. Even if that's not really how you feel I bet that's the way it's coming acrossed to him. Just give him time. If you guy's are meant to be married then you will be. I'm a firm believer in "Every thing happens for a reason".
When I was growing up I always' pictured my life being that I would get out of high school get married and have kids. Well it didn't work that way for me either. I had my daughter when I was 18. I didn't stay with her father. (He was a jerk and no good for me or her) Then I meet the most perfect man in the world who has raised her as his own. And now were having a baby.
The point is your boyfriends right it will all work out. Give him time and then talk to him about marriage. But just make sure he knows that you want to marry him because you love him and want to spend your life with him and not just because of the baby.
2007-11-08 05:19:24 · answer #2 · answered by jenpoesavon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with telling him that you would like to be married, but if he says not right now then don't push it. I know some women who have lost their significant others because they felt so pressured about having to get married that they didn't want to deal with it anymore. Think about it though, if you love each other and you know you will stay together, then why not wait to get married until both of you feel ready. Marriage is just a signed piece of paper anyway. Many people don't get married these days but stay together and have more than one baby. I am on baby number 2 with my boyfriend. We will get married some day but we don't have the money right now
2007-11-08 05:15:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm pregnant & not married too. I've always & still do want all of my kids to have the same dad, but I don't try to pressure my bf into marrying me. I think that u should tell him that u want to marry him & be with him forever, but don't tell him that ur ready to get married over & over b/c that will probably only push him away & u'll end up with what u don't want. U may want to wait until it's what both of u want b/c if not, it may not be a happy marriage. Good luck & congrats on ur baby!!! =)
2007-11-08 05:19:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya im in thats same position only im not catholic lol ne ways but i can see me and my bf getting married and everything we talk about our future all the time together... i mean at least he still around right which is more than u can say about most guys these days... but i wouldnt pressure him tho when he feels the time is right to get married he will ask... but then again im not really the assertive type that would ask a guy if hes going to marry me its just not my personality so i guess it really depends on the type of person u are and the relationship u have... oh ya and age would have helped also...
2007-11-08 05:16:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not wrong of you to tell him you want to get married. Let him know how you feel but also keep in mind that things don't always "work out" as he keeps saying. Keep in mind that getting married does not guarantee you won't be raising this child alone. Be prepared for anything, including being a single mother. Good luck!
2007-11-08 05:12:46 · answer #6 · answered by punkin0404 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and that i'm getting grimy seems from human beings each and all the time. i'm ill on little pregnant sixteen 365 days olds obvious at me via fact I surely have my toddler's father with me while i'm on the mall or food market. the area of the mum and dad and how they are in contact of their young ones(or quickly to be young ones) existence is what's significant, no longer some piece of paper that asserts they are married.
2016-10-01 21:50:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with ur asking him to get married. It will make u feel more secured and happy, but u know that these days more and more people prefer to live unmarried and i suggest u don't ask him for it u just talk to him and u both make the decision for it, if it doesn't make u feel happy that he doesn't want it then well, what can u do, maybe u just have to enjoy the partnership together as long as it last
2007-11-08 05:19:48 · answer #8 · answered by Lost In Space 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not married either...and was the type to always say when i decide to have my first child i will be married cuz i didnt wanna be like most people! I turned 24 in oct and me and my current bf got engaged(and im 20 weeks)..we talked about getting married but were gonna wait a little while! ...and i also hate those owrds myself "Baby Daddy"..i just sounds sooo low lol! but it doesnt hurt to talk to yur boyfreind about it..even if you guys get engaged its a STEP closer you dont have to plan right now...you wouldn have to address him as your bf but your "Fiance"...sounds a whole lot better! but CONGRATS and wishing you the BEST of LUCK!
2007-11-08 05:16:36 · answer #9 · answered by Nika Dueces 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its my due date today, and I'm not legally married to my bf either. I think as long as he's there for you, and loves you and the baby its all good:) Dont pressure as sometimes it scares men off (not that it would, but you never know). Just appreciate that he's still there with you, and hopefully just as excited. It'll happen with due time:)
Good luck :)
You can drop hints, btw....just dont pressure.
2007-11-08 05:12:23 · answer #10 · answered by krisindeed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋