Do you feel unattractive as a pregnant lady?

Question

I've been having a few minor issues in my relationship - where my partner doesn't seem interested in sex anymore, he says I look sexy and all, but when it comes down to it, he just doesn't ever try anything! I have worn lingerie around him, been flirty, etc. But nothing! Lately he has been staying out late (i.e.: play hockey then go for drinks til 1am; work til 2am, etc.) and doesn't call me to let me know he'll be super late! My pregnancy hormones are having difficulty dealing with this - I'm used to being sexy and him unable to keep his hands off... now I get nothing! I asked a question in Marriage & Divorce at 1:30am last night (he still wasn't home - starting to get suspicious) and a couple men responded that pregnant ladies are unattractive and he's probably cheating.... Do you find this to be the case? I'm worried because he had this really skinny hoochy friend before I came along and she's still trying to get in the picture.... could this be where his time is really spent?

I'm 19 weeks 5 days

Ugh, I just always expected my pregnancy to be so magical and beautiful and special! It breaks my heart.

Answer 1

I always feel my prettiest when I'm pregnant because I have the "glow" and when people see my big tummy it's there for a very special reason. You need to have a serious talk with your husband and see what he says. Good luck!

Answer 2

Personally, I think that pregnant women are the sexiest women. My husband agrees with me. I've never been pregnant, but we are going to try soon and when we discussed this a few days ago he said that he thinks that a woman who is pregnant and glowing is gorgeous.

I see a lot of people in my office that are going through the same thing you are. Your situation is quite common. He could be very nervous about this time in your life. He may be scared to have sex with you because you have his child inside of you and doesn't want to hurt you. He could be nervous about the upcoming lifestyle changes and feels the need to "get it all out" while there is still time. He could be feeling very tied down, as a lot of men do when it comes to the thought of having a baby and a wife. These are all VERY common feelings in both men and women. Just because he's indifferent about a new life coming into the world, doesn't mean he is cheating. That is just what we automatically assume, as women.

His actions are not suitable, however, and you are not wrong for expecting a call or a heads up that he's going to be out late. You are very emotional right now and that will make all of these feelings more dramatic, as well. Also, your horomones could be causing you to feel more self-conscious and aware of this "skinny and hoochy" woman. She might not even have anything to do with this, or his feelings on the new baby.

You really need to sit down and talk to him. Tell him that you totally understand that this is a HUGE change but you need to work whatever he is feeling out together. Give him the option to discuss what is in his heart, because he may be too scared to talk to you in fears you may take it the wrong way, or he may hurt your feelings. Allow him a safe and nonjudgemental chance to get all of these insecurities out in the open, and then you can decide what to do from there.

If he is indeed very nervous about the situation, or feels a number of different things you can always talk to a pastor or family counselor. They see cases like yours all the time, as it is very normal.

Good luck!

Answer 3

When I was pregnant with my first one my hubby kinda did the same thing. The whole getting intimate while I was pregnant freaked him out. I was used to going out with him to the bars and stuff also. So when I would stay home all the bad things that I could think of would run through my head and I would watch the clock waiting for him to get back! My hormones were making me crazy! I would ask him a million questions!

But in the end he was not doing anything wrong. He was out just hanging with his friends. He is a wonderful father and now that I am pregnant again I am careful to keep my hormones in check!! And he's not a freaked out this time either! Guys are just weird they don't really get that our hormones change and we need a little extra attention. Don't make yourself crazy. A relationship is about trust :o)

Answer 4

With my last pregnancy I gained 60 lbs and my husband admitted he did not find me attractive. We quit having sex when I was 7 months pregnant. I know what you are feeling because it really hurt my feelings that I was carrying his baby but he couldn't get past the weight. I lost all the weight within 3 months of having the baby so all was fine after that. I am 10 weeks pregnant with my second baby and I'm terrified that this will happen again. With that being said, he did not stay out late and he never cheated on me. What you're describing does sound suspicious and I would look into it. You don't want him bringing home a disease. Good luck.

Answer 5

Some men are kind a weirded out by it, but I don't think that they think that we are unattractive, I do think he might be seeing someone on the side I would talk to him about it or ask someone he goes out with, etc.... The other thing is how do act towards him in other arenas? Because that can make a big difference too. And also during pregnancy more than just your belly goes under physical change, stuff down there changes too and maybe he is unattracted to those changes.... The late nights could just be a way for him to avoid you, and not hurt your feelings out-right, but it Does sound suspicious.

Answer 6

I hated being fat and pregnant-- and I think my husband hated it too though he never let on. That being said-- are you married? How long have you been together? I would suspect the cheating as well, so I don't blame you. But if he's like this when you're pregnant, how is he going to be when all your attention is on the screaming child in your arms? Will he see you as beautiful then? I would confront him and be prepared for the worst. He needs to be able to be there for you during your pregnancy in every way, and if he can't then he won't be there as a dad either, that's just the facts. I wish you the best.

Answer 7

There is no reason for your husband to be doing this to you. My husband is delighted to actually be allowed around this time when his child is being formed and he cant wait for a positive test so we can start the process together. Your husband should feel the same. Even if sex with a baby in there creeps him out then he can atleast stay home with you and cuddle on the couch or just spend some sort of time with you. I mean didnt you get married and decide to have a child out of love? He needs to show that to you

Answer 8

Those men are jerks don't listen to them! I don't think he's cheating, i mean do you really think your man would run off to some tart because you are pregnant with his child?? He would have to be a real idiot to do this! & pregnant ladies are NOT unattractive, most men find us sexier than usual!

However there are men that get scared, your partner probably feels he'll hurt you or the baby by having sex, they just don't understand that we are not ill, just pregnant, try talking to him, i don't think he knows how you are feeling.. I hope it all works out for you
God BLess <3

oh & to answer your question.. i do! i feel fat & disgusting =[ but i tell myself that im not FAT, i'm PREGNANT.. & that's 2 very different things =]

Answer 9

Women should Never feel unattractive, pregnancy gives u a beautifull glow.You need to talk to him seriously and ask him, what is going on. Tip: I would always make plans with my man when i was preagnant. Go out to eat or to the movies together and have a good time. we used to do that all the time..........just don't sit around and do nothing

Good Luck

Answer 10

I really don't think its the pregnancy that is making your man act like this. If he is going to cheat he will do it if you are pregnant or not. Talk to him and don't accuse him. Just ask him what's going on. Maybe he is scared he will hurt you or the baby. Tell him that you really need him right now, and if he can't be more supportive then maybe you guys should consider counseling or something!

Answer 11

If he loves you, and that baby, you're going to be attractive to him regardless of size or shape. Any woman can tell you that.

Its normal for men to be afraid of hurting you or the baby, or to be a little turned off at the thought of being sexual while you have their baby inside during the whole act of making love, but most men get around it after a few weeks of no sex.

At this point, since he's being SO stand offish, and he's not bothering to call you and be with you in any way or on any level, I'd have to assume he's cheating.

Either he didnt love you like he said he did, or he chose not to because the thought of you and the baby wasnt what he really wanted.

Without any contractual obligation to love and cherish and uphold and stand by, its kinda hard to expect much out of a man.

You need to have a real sit down talk with him, and solve this problem now.