Do you feel that even though you are not close with family you are obligated to be with them on Thanksgiving or any other holiday. I don't get the point of being with "family" you're not close with or do not like on a holiday when you don't bother or see them the rest of the year. Any thoughts?
2007-11-08 03:43:40 · 5 answers · asked by Kat G 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Thanksgiving
Dave930:
I am sorry for your situation. You're best bet is to do out to dinner or plan a vacation with you wife next holiday. I would not spend my holiday around family who treats me like an out sider. Especially when friends welcome you in there home you would think family would act better.
2007-11-08 05:18:49 · update #1
Daeve930:
I am sorry for your situation. You're best bet is to do out to dinner or plan a vacation with you wife next holiday. I would not spend my holiday around family who treats me like an out sider. Especially when friends welcome you in there home you would think family would act better.
2007-11-08 05:19:19 · update #2
Amanda:
I don't have to suck anything up as I never said I had an issue with my family or is there any hard feelings.
2007-11-08 07:13:50 · update #3
Thanksgiving + Family = Nightmare
2007-11-08 03:47:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I feel like that right now. My family situation has changed drastically in the last few years. There have been deaths and fallings out and the dynamic isn't what I'd like it to be.
This year, there are basically five of "us" left in our family, and we're spending Thanksgiving with one of my sisters' inlaws. I'm not really looking forward to it, because they're pretty clannish, and don't really include the three of us who aren't related to them. They have traditions we aren't a part of, and will be selecting names for Christmas gifts in a big ceremony, and we won't be part of that. I feel very outside on these occassions.
I'd rather be going to dinner in a restaurant, then to the theatre or a movie, or even just sit at home eating pumpkin pie and ice cream. But we don't want to hurt the sister whose family this is, so we're going to go.
2007-11-08 03:54:27 · answer #2 · answered by Debdeb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have family I'm not close to, so maybe I have no right to say -- but it seems to me that as you get older, you're more anxious to remain in contact with your family. Things change, somehow. If visiting for a holiday makes a difference to the older people in the family, and keeps the younger ones a little in touch, so they can connect later if they want, is it so bad?
Okay, maybe it is so bad. I don't know. Is it as bad as an afternoon of gum surgery, or only as bad as a really boring lecture? How much are you willing to suffer?
2007-11-08 03:50:52 · answer #3 · answered by bonitakale 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family will always be your family no matter your feelings toward each other... spending a few holidays out of the year together isn't hurting anyone. I say, suck it up and make the best of all that you have, cause someday you won't have that chance and you might wish you had...
2007-11-08 03:52:45 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dave...I've seen this before.
You feel obligated to go to these things, so as not to offend your own sibling. One just has to weigh out our own discomfort against the feelings of those we love.
Although I do think that the whole picking of names in front of people who are not participating is very ill mannered.
Perhaps you should accept the invitation and then explain that the whole being made to feel like an outsider is uncomfortable. This will give them a chance to alter the schedule, if they don't, then don't go next year.
Remember to be kind when you explain this, you don't want to hurt any feelings.
2007-11-08 05:52:16 · answer #5 · answered by Jonny B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋