to all those in bad relationships what makes you stay?

Answer 1

HOPE & LOVE

Hope things will get better.

The fact that you just plain old love them and cant stop thinking about that person.

Answer 2

Most people stay in bad relationships because of fear. The fear that they will wind up in a relationship that is worse than the one they are in, for others it is simply the path of least resistance as it takes less effort to deal with what you do not like than it does to change or make it better.

Answer 3

Just a couple of resources:
http://www.trinaschiller.ws/abuse4.html
http://deanofstudents.unc.edu/relationships/gettinghelp/whystay.html

Fear (sometimes a valid fear as some to many of them stalk, threaten, hurt, and hunt the woman down like she's some kind of animal. There are cases where the woman has been killed when she thought she had gotten away or was desparately trying to get away [via restraining order, moving away, changing appearance and lifestyle]), false senses of hope and love and/or that no one else will love or want them (can be based on the abuser's lies), not seeing it as abuse or seeing it as their fault (by the time they start to recognize it as abuse it may be too late in most cases for them to do the one slap and I'll leave), not wanting the relationship to fail (women are more relational), sense of duty to their religious beliefs and customs (fear of Judgement or people not understanding--a lot of churches don't understand or are not trained enough to fully understand and relate to what's really going on, even if they know there's abuse, they still don't understand and lack adequate training), codependency or mental illness, lack of money or resources, not being able to see the resources and money available if there is any, isolation and lack of enough mental and emotional support from others, blackmailing threats, beliefs in the lying abuser and confusion about the lies that the victim is the one who's insane (the abuser gets their victims heads so twisted they some times don't even know what's real and what's not anymore), and on the list can go...

It can take a woman several times of leaving to finally leave him for good or to get him to leave her alone.
And that's if he does not track her down and stalk her to hurt or kill her or convince her that every thing is different, he's changed and realizes the errors of his ways. He'll get help or continue to. He'll start telling people the truth.

I used to believe one slap and I'd leave. I didn't understand at that time that abusers and their mental illnesses mess with your mind. Also they mess with the minds of and lie to the counselors, preachers, their friends, families, acquaintances, and strangers too and convince them that it's all your fault, you're disrespecting him, he abuses you and you can treat him like a king so he won't abuse you anymore. They love to pretend around others that they are loving and nice to their wives so no one would ever believe that he takes them home and berates them and/or physically punishes them for whatever excuse he can make up.
If he's doing this to her and others allow it because they've all been had, how can the woman really tell that she can finally get away without permanent repercussions?
If he can completely snow all those previously mentioned people, he is just as capable of snowing her repeatedly because he is so convincing.
If he weren't so convincing, he would hopefully not have anyone to abuse or at least less people to abuse.
Some of these men are mentally ill and need serious psychological treatments: heavy duty medications and a psychotherapist who specializes in this area and won't be fooled by his deceptions or his illnesses.

Answer 4

The desire to do the right thing . The things you've promised such as I will never leave you or I'll be here no matter what and first and foremost Fear of the unknown ------- what's next out there if anything after this ends

Answer 5

My wife begged me for an hour to give our relationship one last chance, and at least wait until after Christmas for the family.

Answer 6

My daughter is the only thing taht is keeping me. I am starting to fall for someone else so I don't know how much longer I can stay. I love my daughter and I want her to be happy, but I think she wants me to be happy too.

Answer 7

Definitely unconditional love. I also hate failing and I do not want to give up or fail my husband. We all make mistakes and sometimes more than once. We marry for better or worse!

Answer 8

It was the kids that made me stay until I realized that I wasn't doing them any favors. I wasn't being the best mom that I could be to them because I was so unhappy.

Answer 9

Lack of self confidence,lack of personal security,excessive neediness, good cooking,good sex,baaaad sex,money,so many ways to take advantage of the insecure. It's so easy to be predatory.

Answer 10

hmmm..... very good question.

guess was too busy on the wrong and right and who and so.... etc.. hence no time to think of exiting

the other bit is cos of children, try to provide them a complete family

also on the fact that all couple do quarrel and fight...