I am such an irrational thinker?

Question

I have discovered that about myself a couple of months back. It really bothers me. That is one thing I dislike about myself. I don't think before I speak. Gets me in trouble a lot. Most of the stuff that I say when I am mad, I don't mean, and wish I could change.
My question is, should I have to try THIS hard to not to think irrationally? How can I teach myself not to jump the gun when I am mad? It is like I need time to think before I speak! lol
Is this normal?? I'm serious. When I am mad, I get antsy and nervous (I tense up) then when I have time to sit down and rationalize, I am fine.
I would say things out of anger then 20 minutes later realize I said something I didn't mean..and feel stupid for that.
Is something wrong with me, or is this a little nic in my personality that I can fix on my own? I am very proud of myself because I have been really working on it. Just don't think I should have to try that hard to NOT say or FEEL what I really don't feel...does that make since?

Answer 1

Don't take this the wrong way and respond with something you might later regret, but I think that such behavior is from a centric view of the world. When I have seen this behavior, it is usually from people who do not take into consideration other people. When something goes wrong, the thinking is often about an external event that caused the wrongness versus how you might have triggered or participated in creating the situation.

Take a moment when you get mad and ask yourself how you might have been involved in causing the situation. Is it really proper to expect that the other person(s) should think like you? And then remember the words of a famous philosopher, "I have often regretted words said. I have never regretted words left unsaid."

Answer 2

I don't think you have a major problem there. Can it be improved? yes. Do most people improve it? no. lol

Emotions have a massive effect on what we do and how we act and that goes for anyone not just you. You are certainly not the first person to be irrational when angry.

The best thing you can do is work on controling the emotion. The fact of the matter is you cannot think properly when angry so trying to is not going to work. What you can do is lower the level of anger or break your state all together and then get to thinking when you are calm.

There are different ways to do this. One is language. When you are angry you almost always start talking and thinking in angry language: words and phrases like "i hate you" "f**king h**l" "Im really angry!" etc start getting thrown around.

Instead think of one really silly phrase and say it to yourself next time you are getting angry : something like

"fiddledy di! i'm a little bit miffed by this!" (preferably in a comedy accent)

Almost all anger words are programmed to make you more angry, think about what words you used last time you said something you didn't want to and you'll see what i mean.

Another way is just break your state, you have already recognised it "When I am mad, I get antsy and nervous (I tense up)". So when you feel tense walk straight out the room, go to the bathroom shake yourself and start pulling stupid faces at yourself in the mirror. Then have a think about the situation and go back and discuss calmly :)

Answer 3

Obviously you do, because you need to have better control of yourself. Self discipline is NOT easy, and rest assured those who have higher levels of control over their minds, actions, reactions, bodies, have worked very hard at being able to function at that level of maturity. Being and behaving irrationaly is much easier, as it is a total manifestation of the id in a very infantile form.

Answer 4

I do it too! Keep working on it and forgive yourself. It’ll teach you to be patient with others when they do it. Look at the bright side of it!