A "friend" who swipes my meds...?

Question

I don't usually get serious on here, but could use some wisdom. I suspect A VERY CLOSE friend of swiping my drugs, Morphine, to be exact, drugs that I not only need to deal with the pain of disabling spinal disease, but I'm dependent as well (if you don't understand addiction vs dependency, please turn the page - skip any lecture). I guess it's hard for me to really accept that it could be her, but I'm sitting here in a cold sweat, in horrid pain because 16 are missing and I've had to cut my dose in half for the next five days till my next script is due.

I guess I can't prove it's her, and I don't even want to believe it and the final wallop is that she has dirt on me she could use. I don't really think she would, but I can't take a chance with it.

So, dump her slow, confront her...what? This is the 3rd month I've had to go thru this, and I can only tell you that I've always been very responsible with my doses (or I would have been cut off 10 years ago). ...help?

I can prevent the stealing in the future, but I really need to know for sure that it was her. I guess I'm a bit in denial about it. How could someone who is supposed to love me put me in this position? How can I face her at all? How can I cut her out if I don't know for sure? and she'd NEVER admit it - that I know.

My question was specific and Kissy face, you are only showing your total ignorance regarding opiate therapy. I have one of the top 2% pain specialists in the country, and "Dependence" is NOT addiction, the latter requiring more and more of the drug in order to produce a "high". EVERYONE becomes dependent after a time, only 2 % become addicted , the difference being one's reaction to the euphoria (which is absent after 12 years and which i resisted for two as i don't care for that feeling). You are only showing that you know nothing about it.

I asked a specific question about my friend, her access to the drugs being a story too long to print here. I wanted advice regarding how I could deal with her, not my meds. I've had a stim and pump trial, but my condition renders both useless. Opiate therapy is all that is left to me at the moment.

Thanks (to some of you) for buying into the "drug paranoia" and just insulting me and making it worse.

Many chose to respond to the "drug issue" which i don't need YOUR help with. i need advice on my friends behavior, our "friendhship". I'm sure if you have any brains you can figure some information is missing here, there just isn't enough space.

I guess I was stupid to think that many would "get it". Would you lecture a cancer patient about "addiction" when that wasn't the question? And after 23 years do you think i've not investigate EVERY SINGLE OTHER POSSIBILITY? gOD i WAS STUPID TO THINK i MIGHT GET HELP HERE.

Answer 1

Sorry to hear about your difficult situation, and the fact that you are in so much pain, I hope the past while since you posted your question things have gotten better for you. If you haven't done so already, I believe you should confront your friend. This is way to serious of a situation for you to just ignore. Although I think how you confront her is the most important thing here. I think by asking her in such a way that is simply asking if she knows anything about your missing pills, without directly accusing her is the best. If she is a true friend she will understand why you are asking her as you need these meds to function properly. If she gets very defensive and starts freakin out on you and denying everything, I would be suspicious. If she is being honest and has nothing to hide from you, I think you will know. Anyways, I hope for your sake it isn't her, as being betrayed by a close friend is very hurtful. Best wishes and let me know how things go!

Answer 2

No one who loves you would hurt you more than you know. If you're not confrontational I would just say when the person shows up that" you know someone is taking my meds. I'm short every month. I should see if there is some kind of other alternative treatment, I'm really in pain and this is causing me more pain. I can only get my meds at a certain time. Since they keep missing, I need another alternative. What do you think?" At this point the person will either support you and show concern or sweat like a pig because they now have became addicted or is selling the pills on the street. Nonetheless, it will incur some problems for them.

Answer 3

Knowing that this has happened in 3 different months, (I'm figuring to varying degrees) even if you suspect her... she must be an extremely dear friend of yours to still be breathing.

Without proof if I know you at all, you would feel guilty to dump her slow, (although when the access issue is corrected, she may just drift off on her own, but there is no way to tell if that would be causal, because I am also guessing, you may be being more guarded around her, from now on, and she may drift off just from that...)

Of what I have read of you, I know you would feel guilty (even with proof) so my best suggestion would be just to leave the door open for friendship with her, also since you don't want to believe a friend would knowingly cause you such torture.

I believe that when the security issue is resolved completely, and you no longer loose any more, either she will show her hand by somehow trying to gain access, or questioning it, but these too may be natural for a concerned friend. But at least the security of the meds will keep you from suffering so.

My heart goes out to you, angel that you are, and I wish you feel better soon.

Answer 4

Dear Maiden,
I see several issues here. Lets talk about your meds. I think you may want to consider an implant, where a small device is put under your skin and morphine is injected into this for 1-3 months. A patch may help as well, but I suspect you suffer from whats called "breakthrough pain" and require fast acting doses to deal with this, so you would still have to have a few on hand. Talk to your Doc and maybe increase the "Slow Release" morphine, and hide your fast acting so you avoid this situation. Realize too, you aquire a tolerance over time. Most Pain Specialists are recommending Dilaudid now.

Now, as to your 'Friend", Is she addicted? If so it's the addiction that has taken over. If she's selling the meds, well ditch her. I don't know what "dirt" she has on you, but why let her hang about to gather more, while stealing from you?
Stop being available for her visits, state you have another call, or have to go, etc. she'll eventually get the hint, if she is not encouraged to stay/talk on phone. I wish you well.

Answer 5

If you have no proof that it is her, it will do no good to confront her as she will deny it. If you are not 100% certain that she is the thief, you may not want to destroy a close friendship over it.

Perhaps the only way you will know for sure it is her is to set up a sting. Do you have access to a video system that you can monitor your meds with? An inexpensive cctv system that records motion would be best but you can also set up a web cam and capture the video or use a camcorder. This way you would have evidence to confront her with.

Answer 6

She is probably selling them. Street value for those are way up the charts. My suggestion is when you get your next script hide them in a baggie somewhere and put some asprin in the Morphine bottle. That really stinks that someone would do that but like I said if she is not taking them she is getting probably $20 a pill out of them. I would dump her slowly or try & catch her in the act. If she takes the asprin you may find out that way.

Answer 7

Wow! What a tough situation. First off, what makes you think it's your friend? Then, if you do suspect it's her, I suggest you put those pills somewhere where she can't have access to them. I don't know if confronting her would do any good...she would probably deny it. If she IS taking your drugs, then she really needs some help.

Good luck & I'm hoping everything works out for you.

Answer 8

Don't confront it, but guard your meds. If this has been going on for 3 months, why have you let it continue? Minimize contact with her and over time your friendship will drift apart.

I'll spare the lecture, but "dependence" is really only an addiction that some thinks they have under control.

Answer 9

Hide all of your morphine. Keep it with you on your person. Or hidden where it is completely unavailable.

When she is the only one around leave out 2 or 3 in the same container they are normally in. If those disappear then she is the one and you don't have to feel guilty about thinking it.

Answer 10

I like putting the suggestionof the note inside the bottle saying "Stop Stealing My Meds".
But do not put it in with your morphine, use
an old bottle and put in asprins or candy pills instead. This way, the thief will read the note and not take the meds you need.