Now he tells me he is "damaged" and that he is a terrible person. "If I only knew"... While we have been together he has told me that he's never been tempted to cheat on me and sex has never been a real necessity for him. BUT - if he didn't cheat, is he guilty of something and that's why he wants a divorce?
2007-11-08 02:26:59 · 31 answers · asked by anike007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well there is a reason he want's one and you have to ask him why it is. If he said he was a terrible person and if only you knew...there is something that he has hidden from you. It may not be that he is cheating it could be many things. Drugs, money, something illegal, he could have cheated...you won't know unless you talk to him about it. Sometimes people also just grow apart and maybe he does not want to hurt you as bad so he is making it sound as if he has something to hide. All in all you need to talk to him and see what can be done to save your marriage....tell him that you want to be the one to decide if he did something terrible and if you want the divorce. But in order to do that he needs to tell you what is going on. Good Luck.
2007-11-08 03:20:24 · answer #1 · answered by jennie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arguing and changes are SO necessary for growth in a relationship! If you two don't ever fight /argue over anything something has been wrong all of the time!! You 2 have never grown or gone through anything together...how can you get through this especially if he's done something so damaging that he just wants to divorce you instead of talk it out with you... Sounds to me like the relationship has been a bit superficial all along. Fallible is a word that u should look up it means subject to human error and we all are- Maybe your husband feels like he's had to be Perfect and now that something has changed he wonders if he can ever meet up to your measures
2007-11-08 02:40:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really hate saying this and I only say it as personal experience. Please keep in mind that just because this was what happened to me - doesn't mean that your husband's doing the same thing.
With that said, my ex-husband started off not "wanting" me. I think we went months without doing anything. Suddenly, he started talking about wanting a divorce and I couldn't figure out why. It was long before I went snooping and found a note from a girl.
I wish there was something I could say. I hope I'm wrong. Best of luck!
2007-11-08 02:53:16 · answer #3 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it is imperative to find out what you can do to love him the way he needs to be loved.
Obviously the communication had a major breakdown somewhere along the way.
The issue is not if he's guilty of anything. The goal and objective is NOT to point fingers and blame. That is most likely a key factor of why he is wanting to divorce.
Your ONLY goal at this point is to humbly desire to do whatever it takes to win him back to you and work through this.
The best thing at this point is for both to see a Marriage Counselor or Therapist. Possibly agree to the divorce proceedings with the consent of much marriage help. If that works the way it normally does, you'll both be back on the road to recovery in some time, happily enjoying life together. Isn't that why you got married in the first place?
Make it work!
2007-11-08 02:35:49 · answer #4 · answered by splashdesign238 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like he's trying to tell you something...He might be feeling guilty about something or it seems like he doesn't know how to tell you...Maybe he feels like the answer is to get a divorce because whatever it is it's too hard to go forward...I think you really need to sit down with him and have him come clear with you...You at least deserve to know what it is that has him wanting to end your marriage...I hope somehow you can move forward from here either way...
2007-11-08 02:58:18 · answer #5 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband is feeling guilty about something.....is it possible that he is gay? If he has been honest about not being tempted to cheat and sex has never been a real necessity for him...I am thinking that he is gay and is with the wrong sex....
2007-11-08 02:33:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
considering which you're married, and that i'm guessing right here considering which you reported you had filed for divorce yet did no longer say you quite have been divorced, i opt to symbolize 2 books. "who's pulling your strings?" by using Harriet B. Braiker and "The Spider and the Fly" by using Ruth Raffaeli the 1st e book has helped me fairly in coping with people who try this. this would possibly not only assist you on your marriage yet with exterior relationships besides. the 2d e book is all approximately abusive relationships. I advise to do answer the questions she asks you on a chew of paper. in case you opt for to purchase those or write the questions and solutions down, in spite of the undeniable fact that, ask a girl chum or your mom in case you may save it at their homestead so which you haven't any longer have been given it at yours. it is going to easily boost extra arguments and extra protecting your self. The extra you shield your self the extra of your self you will lose over the years. additionally, you do no longer could be on drugs by way of fact of his stressing you. it does not be a good option to advise therapy or counseling as he could only start to insult, degrade or accuse you. study the books. you will in no way be apologetic approximately doing so.
2016-11-10 19:48:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My partner was exact this way i used to do everything he said tell him everything i was the perfect girlfriend with no ex bf or any other issues or fights he said the same thing he just couldnt marry he wasnt a cheat since we have been family friends for decades and we are directly friends for years before being in love atlast i figured out it was bad company or gay well for me it was with some bad people so mystery solved`
2007-11-08 02:38:08 · answer #8 · answered by aguardianangel 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You deserve to know and tell him you want to learn his reasons and will be as unjudgemental about them. Maybe he's learned he prefers men and wants to divorce you to live another type of lifestyle? You NEVER know what it is, but you do have a right to know. I know this is a painful time for you and I hope you take good care of yourself. Don't try to hold onto something if it's not going to work, do your best to move on to better things.
2007-11-08 02:48:57 · answer #9 · answered by wellbeing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me as if he has found someone else. Its likely that he's grown bored in your marriage and now he thinks that having his freedom will give him what he's not getting from you. I would talk to him and ask him directly his reasons for wanting a divorce. He at least owes you an explanation.
2007-11-08 02:49:06 · answer #10 · answered by Craftychic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋