So, was it what you expected? First time moms?

Question

I'm 33 and just had my first child in June. A beautiful baby boy. One of the main reasons I waited so long to have kids is that all I ever heard growing up and in my 20's was how hard having kids was. Taking them everywhere with you, the crying, and the fact that your life was no longer yours and free to do as you please. Granted, my life has changed but not nearly as dramatic as I expected and taking care of my son seems natural and wonderful. How about you?

Answer 1

I'm 34 and also had my first baby in June. My life *IS * no longer mine alone, but I still do as I please... I please to enjoy every minute of my beaming daughter. I never thought of myself as the nurturing type, but, yes, it is natural and wonderful -- and consuming and life altering. Not because of the day to day demands of care and feeding, I found these to be simpler and more enjoyable than I imagined, but because I have never loved a human being so ferociously before. The emotional adjustment has been hard for me. I was always fearless in the way I chose to live my life; now I fear for my daughter's health, safety and well being knowing that life will at some point hurt her.

Taking her everywhere with me isn't a chore -- we just go and we return when any one of us (including dad) has had enough.

The crying? There isn't much of that. I determined to read her cues early on and can usually anticipate when she is hungry or tired or bored before she gets herself worked up, and she is kind enough to forgive my mistakes.

Answer 2

I'm 32 and I had my second little girl in July. I also have a wonderful 4 year old. I would not change my life for the world. I love my girls with all my heart. Yes, their are times that being a mother are a struggle trying to make sure you are doing the right thing that is going to affect someone elses life. Your life is still yours but just in a different way. Some people make the life to parenthood a lot easier than some people and some just need a little extra push. I'm glad that I did wait to have my children because I was able to get my life established and find a good job to support my family.

Answer 3

I had my son in late May, and unlike you, I had him right after I graduated from college, at the age of 23. My husband is 27. I love motherhood, but it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. The most difficult thing was the fact that my other young friends who didn't have children have basically abandoned me. I had to put my dream career on hold and settle for an administrative assistant position closer to home. Having just finished school, I was in the mindset that I knew everything and I was as smart as can be. But that doesn't apply to motherhood. I had so many difficulties bfing (not knowing much about it beforehand and having a doctor who too easily suggested formula) and was actually jealous of my husband for a while. His life hardly changed. He was free to come and go as he pleased and since he's older, had already had a stable career and was happy with himself and the changes. My son is 5 months now and I'm really starting to get the hang of things and accept changes and realize that just because my plans have shifted a bit, they haven't disappeared. I have found a great group of friends who understand me and respect me and my husband and I communicate much better. It was a rocky start, but now it's smooth sailing.

Answer 4

I'm 32 and have a 3 week old baby girl. My first :) . Like you I went through my 20's watching all my friends have kids but I was more interested in keeping my freedom so I put off having kids. I absolutely love my daughter but the last few weeks have been harder then I thought. I'm having feeding problems with her but once I get that figured out I'm sure it'll get much better. On one hand I'm glad I waited this long to have kids. On the other, it would have been nice to have kids when my friends were having them when I was younger and we could watch them grow together and I'd have more mommy's to ask questions and just to talk to. My friends kids are all about 13,14 years old and are done having babies. Here I am at 32 just starting out. But this is how it was meant to be.

Answer 5

I had my daughter two and 1/2 years ago. I was 23 when she was born. I have had so much fun with her. Sure it's hard to take care of kids, i think at any age. But she has inspired me in ways I can even begin to explain. I want to be a good role model for her, I want her to have the best possible future. All those things I wish I could have done, no longer matters anymore. Children mature you and make you realise there is so much more in the world than you thought.

Congradulations and you have the best years ahead of you!

Answer 6

I love it! I gave up my freedom when I was 18... got married to a man with 2 kids. So, I have been a mom for a while. Had my first baby at 20, and my second one almost 2 months ago at 22. I wouldnt change a thing... but as of right now I do not want anymore. I think I was born to be a mom. I get to go out and have fun once a month or so, which is just fine for me :)

Answer 7

I'm 32, and yes, I heard the horror stories, and yes, taking care of my daughter seems natural and wonderful.

I didn't think I was that into babies -- a little phase they have to pass through before turning into children, and I do like children -- but, now, I'm pretty thrilled about babies.

I _like_ taking her everywhere. We now have no fewer than four sorts of carriers.

The crying is so minimal, and it just means it's time for cuddles. Yay! More cuddles!

I have so much patience, and at this point in my life, I'm really pleased that the term "nursing" is no longer followed by "a hangover."

Mr Do Your Own Thinking is well into his 40s (this is a first for both of us, this baby thing), so a lot of that almost goes double for him. He is a "Aw, if you gotta throw up, come sploo on old Dad," hands-on father who beams whenever somebody compliments our baby. Stories about fathers being grumpy about reduced sleep and inconvenient baby what-not are not true, here.

Answer 8

Well I'm 22 and I'm 27 wks pregnant with my first baby (a boy). I've heard all this too but I didn't want to wait past 25 to start having children. It happened earlier than I expected but I have no regrets and that stuff really doesn't matter to me. This is the best thing that has ever happened and it's truly a blessing. Waiting to have your baby at your age was great for you too so it all depends on the person =] Congrats on your beautiful baby boy!

Answer 9

Actually it was so much MORE than I ever imagined. The feeling of love if amazing.. and it's can't even be explained in words! I was afraid of delivery and anxious all at the same time. My delivery experience was beautiful and since our son was born 2 months ago.. our lives have changed in so many good ways. It's easier than I expected because I have so much passion in caring for him.. he's been really wonderful.. well temperamented and a really good sleeper. I had a challenging time with breast feeding but stuck with it.. and now that is a wonderful bonding experience, as well. I wouldn't change anything for the world!

Answer 10

I am 26 and had my first baby this March. I had planned to have my babies earlier, but it just didn't work out! My Mom had me at age 24 and my sister at 27. She thinks that it is better to have your babies young because of my Grandmother having her children after 30. My Grandmother thought that she should have kids older because my Great-Grandmother had her kids very young, she had 8 babies between the age of 17 and 25! I think it is funny that they all flipped back and forth like that because they didn't agree with their mother's parenting style and thought that it was based on age and not personality.

The main reason I decided to have kids early is because of something my Mom said to me one day. She told me that when she was the happiest in life was when I was a baby and she and my Dad were broke and they just had eachother and me. They lived on love and optimisim. That really made me think about how I wanted to live my life and I realised that making a lot of money and having this great career before having a baby was not neccesary. Now my parents have a successful business and are happy Grandparents who are young and healthy and able to enjoy every minute with their new Grandchild.

The delivery and first few months of motherhood were definitely was not what I expected! We had a very traumatic experience during birth and in the hospital. The baby's heartbeat dropped during labour and they convinced me I had to have an emergency c-section. When she was born she was not breating and her heart had stopped entirely. I didn't hear any crying when she was born and they wisked her away immediately, I didn't get any chance to see her. I passed out during the removal of the placenta and did not wake up until 6 hours later in a dark hospital room - I was so disoriented I thought that I had died! Once I started getting back to reality it came to me that I had given birth but had no idea if the baby was alive, or what sex it was ... I didn't get to see my baby until the next day! I was heartbroken and on top of that I found out that I was septic and very ill. Thank God our baby was okay. She had to stay in the NICU for 5 days and have all kinds of tests and MRIs and stuff, but she turned out to be perfectly healthy. I had to stay in the hospital for 8 days.

I thought that the first few days were so important to bond with the baby and I was so upset that she was not with me and I couldn't breastfeed. I think that it does make a difference. I felt like it took us two or three weeks at home to truly feel connected. This was something that I thought would happen right away. It took 2 months before breastfeeding was pain free and felt "natural" to me. Again, this is something I thought would be easy.

Our daughter is almost 8 months old now and I love every minute of our life together. Infact I cannot imagine leaving her when she is a year old, so I am not going back to work next spring. I plan to stay home until she goes to school.

Unfortunately the day I thought would be remembered as the best day of my life, is both the best and worst day! But the days that follow are more important now I think!