What would you say about a couple having this exchange?

Question

(their respective sexes are deliberately omitted)

"You know... sometimes I think about it and I realize that you've changed so much to please me since we've been together and I really haven't changed anything about myself. Maybe that's unfair?"

"Well, really, when you think about it: I NEEDED to change. It was for my own good."

"OH! Sometimes you say just the perfect thing! I love you!"

"Well, it's true. And I love you so much and feel so grateful to have met you."

EDIT

I will reveal their sexes when I choose Best Answer, yes.

EDIT

Oh, it was a real conversation, yes.

Answer 1

I find it completely unlikely that two people would hook up where one is so "perfect" that they don't require any improvement and the other is the only one who needed to make positive changes. I would believe the second person has been manipulated by the other person into believing that their characteristics were "flawed."

Answer 2

sounds like the one who changed knew he/she needed to and found the strength in the other person to do it. That is why love happened for that person. Love includes acceptance of faults and the person who didn't change might have some shortcomings but not to effect the dynamic of the relationship.
The person who changed needed the other to do it and the one who saw that appreciates the effort the changed person put into it. They both get comfort from each other.
Is this a real scenario? If so I suspect the changed person is a male.
I see no problem with this relationship. They will probably last a long time. I judge from the little info given.

OH AND PLEASE DO US ALL A FAVOR AND TELL US IN YOUR BEST ANSWER NOTE WHO WAS THE MALE AND FEMALE!!!!

Answer 3

I very much like the idea that people should accept each other as they are and change in each individual should be a personal choice and natural process, if this was the case of one of the two people conversing, then I give props to the person who's changed out of own inspiration, not obligated by the other.
As for the other, I don't know enough about the person to form an opinion on him/her not having changed.

Answer 4

Well.......there is so many ways to look at that! That is sorta the thing that I am in. I have done alot of changing, not necessarily FOR my partner but just that I have grown up alot because of this person. So that can be a good thing! Even though you may not appear to change physically you may change emotionally. You take the others feelings more to heart. Maybe by the comment I HAVENT CHANGED was a change right there....admitting that everything is ok.

I would look at that as a comfortable relationship. Accepting that we all bring out different CHANGES in one another.

Everyone is inpacted by other people in many ways. And thats something to be GRATEFUL for!

Answer 5

I would say that the "changer" was at a point in his/her life when he needed to change. His partner just held their hand and supported them along the way. Perhaps they needed to stop drinking, perhaps they were stuck in a dead-end job and decided to go back to school, but a positive change has happened to that person, with support from the partner.

That's assuming they have a normal, healthy relationship. If not, and the change was instead to become a "toy" for the other partner - a change of style, or of basic personality points, then that is very unhealthy. I guess the question is, "Whose idea was it to do the changing? Is that person happier for it? Or are they being used by the other partner, who just didn't accept them as they are?"

Answer 6

It sounds like a fantasy! Too good to be true.

I find it interesting that you omitted the gender, because change in a woman during a relationship is very very common, but men don't really change that much in the course of a marriage.

I could take a guess that the one who made the big change in the above paragraph was a woman, but I think in this case, the change was made by the MAN. I say this just because it seems like such a big feat that change was initiated.

Answer 7

They don't respect each other much. At least the one who said "OH! Sometimes you say just the perfect thing! I love you" doesn't seem to respect the other speaker that much. The second speaker seems to be a welcoming mat that the first speaker walks all over. The first speaker sounds a little arrogant whereas the second speaker sounds too meek. That's just my personal take on it.

Answer 8

OMG,is this one of those scenes from "lifetime television for women" drama...............lol.

I'll say that this relationship will crumble and fall soon or later.
The efforts are only coming from *one side* and it's clearly not fair.Then again it seems so unreal..........lol.

Gnu,I can honestly say that you got me there!!!
i mean,if the second party said: ''SOMETIMES YOU SAY JUST THE PERFECT THING''....why would he or she feel the need to change.

I take it that he or she was already a good person but find themselves with a "not too perfect person" and in the process, arguments occurred between them two,and he or she realized that they the one that needed to change.

Answer 9

The 'balance of power' between the two is out of whack, it would seem. The first statement is clearly manipulative - asking the partner to say that no change is necessary.

Traditional minds will immediately think that the 'changer' is a woman - although the wording of the manipulator sounds distinctly female.

Answer 10

Sounds like the first speaker was trying in a sneaky way to figure out in general if the 2nd speaker is happy with the way that they are, and the 2nd speaker is pretty easy going and seems happy, so I don't think the first person is a jerk at all for not changing, they apparantly didn't have to, so it's okay!