Did I do right or wrong?

Question

Well this girl who is middle school age stands at the corner to wait for her bus every morning. I am 25 yrs. old with 2 kids and one on the way and I drive by there every morning to drop my daughter off at school. Yesterday as I drove back home, she yelled out something to me that sounded like "slow down", I heard it so clearly even with my radio on, I made a stop and everyone had their heads down as if to say "oh damn, she heard us" so anyway, I left it alone and went home..this morning I drove by her and she gave me a dirty look, so when I drove by the 2nd time (to go home) she did it again so I stopped and asked her what her problem was? she said nothing and denied giving me a dirty look. I'm not gonna mess with her obviously but I don't want to drive by every morning and have her give me dirty looks..did i do right by stopping or what would you have done? i kinda of feel bad now, but i haven't done anything to her, and i'm sure she's gonna tell mommy later which is fine.

It's not that I'm not "grown up", I can't find another route, that's the only way that you can get out..it's one road, the other end is a dead end so i'm stuck going that way. I didn't talk to her in an ugly way, I was talking to her politely, cause i had my 4 yr. old with me and the girl is a teenager. I just don't want her making faces at me every time i drive by, it's uncomfortable, at least now she'll know that i am aware of her dirty looks and maybe tomorrow she'll be looking elsewhere..if not, then the hell with it, i'm not gonna bother with her.

no there is no way i could of been going fast. I have to slow down cause there's a curve that leads you into my road, which is where they are standing, which means i still have to slow down and go around them. If I was racing through, I don't know how I was able to catch her words so clearly after she yelled it out. I wasn't going 5 mph, maybe 20 or a little less..the speed limit is 30 but I don't ever do 30 even though a lot of people do that and more. but i'm over it and i appreciate all the comments and advice that everyone took the time to give me. Thank you so much!

Answer 1

You did right.

Kids need to know that if they disrespect an adult they are going to be called on it. If she does it again, ask her for her mom or dad's name and phone number and give them a call. If she won't give it to you, do a little leg work and find out where she lives and talk to her parents.

If she's right and you're driving too fast, then Slow Down. IF you not driving too fast, then make sure she knows your driving well within the speed limit and when she learns to drive she'll be able to judge speeds accurately. Either way make sure she knows that it is Unacceptable to be disrespectful to any adult.

When you speak to her, speak exactly as though you are speaking to an adult (minus swear words, if any). Show her what respect is, and you'll earn it in return.

Answer 2

Well, you never told us one important piece of information...were you driving too fast?

She may be a teenager, but that does not mean she is stupid. The kids walking to the bus stop have a right to be safe. So if you were driving too fast, stop and apologize for driving too fast, and you will make sure that you drive the speed limit in the future.

Under no circumstance are you to talk to her...it's not your place. I tell my kids not to talk to strangers, so leave her alone. I would have a problem if an adult confronted my child, but would be more then OK, if they wanted to talk to me about it.

If you have anymore problems call the local middle school and they will deal with it. I know that I just go a letter home from the school letting us know that neighbors were having problems with the Middle School kids from my daughters bus, and asking us to talk to our children. I as my child's parent let her know that there would be problems if I caught her misbehaving at the bus stop.

Answer 3

i don't know that there is a right or wrong in this situation. the girl obviously lives in your neighborhood since she is waiting at the bus stop. so the sooner you get it resolved, the better.

some things just go away on their own without any need to say anything. give this a week to blow over. if after a week, you still notice dirty looks or taunts as you drive by, then you should speak with the girl. now don't "eye ball" her as you drive by. just drive as you normally would. if she sees you are just letting it die, she will most likely do the same.

whatever you do, do NOT confront her in front of her peers. at that age, kids feel they need to grandstand for their friends. they don't want to look foolish or weak. you probably already have a good idea where she lives, since you are in the same subdivision. you can speak to her along with her parents in a non-threatening way, if it just doesn't die down on its own.

i live where the speed limit is 25 mph. but people of all ages will race by. i have occasionally yelled "slow down." i don't expect to have a confrontation. i just think that they might not realize how fast they are going. i haven't had anyone stop to challenge me on my shout. so perhaps you should have adjusted your speed and went on with your business.

hope it just mellows out for you.

Answer 4

Unless she is yelling obscenities I would probably just ignore her. Kids think they are really cool if they can rile up an adult. You can bet after you left it was a big laugh. If it gets out of control drive to the school and point her out to the principal. At the bus stop the school is responsible for the kids. And they will deal with the problem. See how mom likes it when she gets kicked off the bus. and mommy has to drive her every morning....not so cool any more

Answer 5

Your 25 and she is middle school age. You should have Ignored her. Kids do that sort of thing to get a rise from adults. Just the same with your own kids when they argue with you. What did you think you were going to accomplish by stopping and confronting her. For your sake I hope the parents are not the kind that ask questions while punching you. Or call the police because, you challenged their child.

Answer 6

Question: Where you going too fast? In our area there have been quite a few children hit by cars while just simply walking to there bus stop or standing at there bus stop. My son has a little girl that was hit by a car and is still in the hospital months later. They say she may be forever brain damaged. Our children see a lot and they are not just powerless human beings. Remember also looks may make you feel unconfortable but there glares are not harming you or your property so ignore them. You are the adult lead by example.

Answer 7

I would've done the same thing. Go ahead and let her tell her mom, maybe then she'll realize that her daughter is being disrespectful towards adults. If it were me, no matter what my age I would got out of my car and told her "If you want to disrespect me, say it to my face, not when I'm in the car driving by." It would scare the sh!t outta her and make her think twice about disrespecting somebody again.

Answer 8

no, who cares im 26 with to kids and everyones always trying to tell people the appropriate way to act once your an adult, but them little middle school girl are always running over my daughters (6 and 2) in lines knocking them down and stuff when im standing right there I feel like grabbing them and laying them out they have no respect or fear for anything..someone needs to shake them up a little.

Answer 9

sometimes children just like to get on an adults nerves, maybe she is just doing it to see what your reaction will be. dont feel bad though i probly would have asked her what her problem was too, only because she needs to know for her later life that not everyone will take in her rudeness.

Answer 10

Check with school authorities the name and address of her parents and talk to them about their child's behaviour, if this is impossible avoid and ignore her totally.