Please read my last question, before answering this one!!!They are connected.....I've been dating my boyfriend for about 4 months and he wants to marry me...if you can recall from my last questions, he wouldn't say what he felt or exprees his feelings, but instead acted them out...now he wants to go full throttle...he wants to get married...He's really does look out for me and seeks out my best interest and I'm so grateful to have him in my life....I am ready, but I don't think my parents are. I'm a Muslim and he's not..he doesn't believe in any religion..they will freak out when they find out...His mother is also Muslim but..***..he's getting a house by the end of the year for us to move into and basically start life together....I don't know....my parents are going to...OMG!!!!!please help.....
2007-11-08 01:17:40 · 11 answers · asked by gemimibeauty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree with what other people have been saying. 4 months is not a very long time, even though you feel like you have known him forever. Spend more time with him, be together for a while before you make a hasty decision... you are still young! You can be engaged for a while, you don't have to rush into anything too soon. It wouldn't be fair to you or to him to be settled down, living together and married and then to discover that you don't really love each other as much as you thought you did. Marriage comes with love, trust and responsibility...you shouldn't have to be thinking so hard about it to know whether you want to do it or not.
2007-11-08 02:44:30 · answer #1 · answered by Mars Bar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you have only known this guy for 4 months, too soon a time to know if he is really the one. It takes time and courtship to really get to know someone. Also, religion is a major factor to consider when and if you both do decide to get married one day. Think of all the obstacles involving marrying someone who is not of the same religion. One thing to also consider is if children come into the picture, what will be the decision when it comes to the religion of their faith? Lastly, if you still feel the need to have your parents approval for all the major decisions in your life and fear they will object, indicates you are not yet mature enough to be a married woman. A person who gets married leaves their mother and father and join with their spouse. This means you have to be united with a husband of your choice and stand by him with honor and respect for him. You need to ask yourself if you are ready to do just that.
2007-11-08 01:50:33 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think 4 months together is too little to know this guy and to trust that you will love him for the rest of your lives and when your parents find out they will put all kind of pressure on you to think about your decision... marraige is not a game or a convenience - a man caring for you is not enough of a reason to marry him...
you need more time before you can make a decision to marry this man
2007-11-08 01:24:08 · answer #3 · answered by CDsummersun 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all... chill!
You really don't sound ready even though you clearly love him.
TALK to him... tell him exactly how you feel and he should accept your feelings if you really love each other, both of you should be able to be open about your feelings. Maybe explain that your not sure how your parents will take it.
Talk to your parents (not neccesarily about him wanting to marry you). Ask what they think of him. Have they met?
Best wishes.
2007-11-08 01:26:06 · answer #4 · answered by molly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need help, alright... 4 months is not adequate time to get to know someone... you really need to take time to observe this person and figure out if he is the person for you...
Cases in point:
I met a 50 year old man last year who seemed wonderful... and a year later? I found out he LIED about everything in his life... plus, as time went on, i saw he treated his mother terribly, talked to her like a DOG (we all know that people have a tendency to treat wives/girlfriends just as they treat their mothers)...And yes, he tried to talk down to me, just like he talked to HER! Then, his utilities were shut off all the time... because he doesn't bother to pay his bills on time... and now? He's filing for bankruptcy because he didn't bother paying his house payments for MONTHS on end... and this is the third time in two years he's been thousands of dollars in arrears on his mortgage obligation... the IRS is after him for over $20,000....no excuse for his financial nightmare, because he makes over $45,000 a year (no credit cards, either).... and i could go on and on, but what i'm trying to say is HIS TRUE COLORS didn't come out for about a year.. and that was when the truth came to light.
The previous boyfriend was a man of 48 years old... he was divorced and had a nice home... he treated me like a queen for the first 6 months, then all hell broke loose -- he sat around depressed most of the time, wallowing in misery... he started obsessing over his ex wife all of the time (they were divorced 2 years prior). He was mean to his adult children and treated them like second class citizens..... i could go on and on, but you get the picture.
Hon, please take time to get to know this person before you marry him... NEEDY men try to dive right into a marriage.. and they usually have ulterior motives... both men i described above wanted me to marry them right off the bat, too. I had sense enough to ask them "are you kidding? i don't even know you yet"....thank GOD i took time, otherwise i'd be in a bad situation right now.
I am content with the person i am, and i won't settle for someone who is a big mess.
take care of YOU.
2007-11-08 01:29:05 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to marry him or his family and yours? You marry someone because you love them. You marry someone because you want to spend your life with them. If you already have these kind of problems before marriage than you need to correct them before you walk down the isle.
2007-11-08 01:23:15 · answer #6 · answered by Babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That you are asking a question about it means you shouldn't be getting married. Marriage is something you go into when you have no doubts.
2007-11-08 01:23:40 · answer #7 · answered by Paul M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm a parent and so proud to say that i've not meddled in any of the girls that my sons have chosen....my parents told me who to date .....what did they know.......listen to your heart not them , since you are an adult
2007-11-08 01:31:05 · answer #8 · answered by kare34235 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move in now
2007-11-08 01:21:40 · answer #9 · answered by rpetch007 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no no no thank you
2007-11-08 01:46:16 · answer #10 · answered by LivingMyLife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋