My husband came back to me because he was angry at me naging and being cranky. I begged him to come back, and he did. He loves me but he gets very angry when I start being mean when I get my period ot I am tired. We are married fo 14 years. When he came back he bought himself a car (26K) and I guess he felt he needed it for work. I made him buy me a diamond ring (he never got me an engagemment ring) 5.5 karats (40K). I tought it will make him stay, and made me feel good. He is very attentive and he is trying very hard. I feel bad because I made him come back and now I am so angry at him for leaving me that I can't even have sex with him. He is patient with me, but I am afraid he will leave eventually. I am trying not to be short with him but I can't help it some times.
He also knows that I had sex with a man when he was gone, and he understands. I am going to therapy now, but I am affraid I will never get the feeling I had for him of passion . Will it ever come back?
2007-11-08 01:06:48 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We also put in for a divorce and I am hoping that it will feel like we are starting new, and that the old marriage is gone. He did not want to do that, he wanted the same marriage, but I feel that I want to start new.
2007-11-08 01:21:28 · update #1
You made your bed now sleep on it, or with him that is.
Your husband is a patient guy, and also an idiot. Let himself be manipulated by you. He is stupid and you shame on you!
Sounds like the worse is yet to come, when he gets feduped with your issues again. I hope he goes and never comes back. If he stays, he will be miserable for the rest of his life, and I think he knows it, but he is too stupid to admit it, or too much of a wimp to do anything about it. You on the other hand, think you have him where you want him now, right?. But this is a ticking bomb... the ring was pure bull.... and you know why you did it. Divorce?!!! and he buys you a ring. You got to be kidding me!!! I think you know exactly what you are doing... what a bit...... My God, What are you. he is nice to you and you just sh...t on him,
God hep the poor idiot!!!
2007-11-08 01:46:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all making him buy you things is not the way to go. I know you never got an engagement ring but you shouldn't demand it.
14 years of marriage is a long time, so you two should definitely try to work it out because staying together that long these days is a rare occurence. You going to thereapy is a good idea, but maybe you should try couples therapy, that way you guys can get a better understanding of why you're not getting along if there's a neutral party there.
I don't know how long he was gone but cheating is a big no-no. I'm glad he undertands though, that shows that he is really trying to make it work. I can't say if you will get that passion back, only you will know. Maybe you guys shouldn't focus on the fact that you don't want to have sex because it creates so much tension.
To bring back the passion that you two once had, try going on dates and spending more time together outside of the home. That way you will start to feel like you're dating again and it will probably spark up some flames.
Good luck to you and your husband
2007-11-08 01:17:51 · answer #2 · answered by nh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if your passion for him will ever return, but i'd suggest couples counseling as well as individual counseling.
And hon, if you are having issues with mood at the time of your period, maybe you could ask your doctor about PMDD (you can do a yahoo search for this to see if your symptoms match)... it is treatable/manageable, and a real illness which affects many women all over the world... no sense feeling awful if you dont' have to.
I can't see how a ring can make you happy -- happiness comes from the INSIDE of a person, not through material things... ask your therapist about it...
Hopefully, this is just a bad phase in your marriage, and you will find ways to repair the damages, if that is what you want. Life is hard, and sometimes we have to tackle our issues and learn good coping skills.
Therapy does work when we work it... it can be emotionally draining, as well. Do your best to talk with the therapist about everything, and dont' hold back; otherwise you're wasting your time and money.
take care of you.
2007-11-08 01:15:49 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will never come back and you are as guilty on this as he is.
You MADE HIM buy you a ring that cost lots of money to prove he's back and keep him?
You need to learn to understand that real love and trust are about things way more valuable than money could ever buy - but you have given him a clear message that the financial substitute for love will be more than satisfactory. You are jelaous he bought himself a new car so you wanted something for yourself - how childish is that?
End it - learn your lessons and move on.
2007-11-08 01:22:07 · answer #4 · answered by Paul M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad you're going to therapy because your thoughts don't sound that cohesive. For instance, it's not normal to want to get legally divorced, just to stay married. Divorce is serious and you're treating it like a school report card. And, it doesn't sound like your emotions are stable, nor does it sound normal that you harbor resentment for him leaving while you were out having sex. It is very rare for a marriage to recover after there is infidelity. Given your emotional instability, I doubt your relationship will last.
2007-11-08 03:39:36 · answer #5 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely you pronounced you have been on start administration so I wont scold ya - its so unhappy that the punch me clown interior the sky performs merciless jokes on us like young ones. Im not gonna remark on the drug concern and the temper - thats his concern - base line here is this guy is rather not your suitable - he will in no way comply with elect you're in seek of for you are able to study this lesson NOW or later - your not loopy - regrettably we dont %. the human beings we fall for - yet its as much as us to work out previous our very own ideals and admit certainty no count how perplexing or perplexing that could be. its not ordinary - yet whilst its this perplexing now - this guy is barely gonna worsen - if toddler #a million didnt make him smarten up and see the mild - toddler # 2 in all threat wont do lots greater suitable the two sturdy success!
2016-09-28 14:14:01 · answer #6 · answered by mataya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You "made him come back" and you "made him give you a diamond ring".....then "had sex with another man"....No wonder he left you.....and hopefully he stays gone when he leaves again...
2007-11-08 01:10:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like neither one of you should be in a relationship...you are too imature and he allows you to control him...not the recipe for a good marriage.
2007-11-08 01:15:54 · answer #8 · answered by mamapoulette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are just too mean to him. and its really unfair because he doesnt do anything wrong to you. just try to be good to him. be a sweet wife for him... instead of nagging him always or be angry at him... try to show him that you care.... be a wife that she wishes you to be....
2007-11-08 01:20:08 · answer #9 · answered by NOEMIE08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop letting him come in and out like that
2007-11-08 01:47:53 · answer #10 · answered by LivingMyLife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋