My flatmate at times snaps at me/has a go at me over small things & be quite aggressive. How I respond to this

Question

Sometimes it comes out of nowhere and I try not to take it personally but sometimes it shocks me as I don't know where her sudden anger comes from and it is always over something small. When I try to help/respond (probably being too nice at times) by saying "why didn't you tell me before I would have done it" as she gets quite angry and she'll still be rude and say "I'm telling you now!" and I feel like I've said the wrong thing. How would you respond to someone like this? Another time I could just come home and she'll be in and I casually ask "not at work today?" and she'll get arsey and say "does it look like it" or if I ask something and she has already told me but I forgot she gets arsey saying "I told you already" at times she is nice but I feel like I am walking on eggshells in my own home. What should I do to sort this out? Help! Thanks

Answer 1

I think that you are roommates and leave it at that, she obviously needs to gear her anger somewhere, and you are her target. the nicer you are, the meaner she is. if it were me, i would snap right back at her, cuz i am just like that but that really dosent solve anything but give her a taste of her own medicine. it sdounds like no matter what you do, it will be wrong. pay your bills, keep things clean, spend time with friends,and have the time of your life, she will miss having you to kick around and dont bother with her... she is not your buddy, she is your roommate... you dont have to sleep with her so just concentrate on co existing

Answer 2

Change your attitude towards her. You're not obligated to speak to her at all if you don't want to. If there's something that's urgent or important to communicate to her; write in down on paper or a message board pasted up on a wall for her to see. Instead of being overly friendly and helpful, withdraw and distance yourself from her. Stop communicating with her unnecessarily cuz everytime that you do, you open up yourself for some form of attack from her. You're not her mother or sibling so leave her alone to handle her own business. Buy your own food, eat only what is yours, pay your half of the bills, do your half of the chores and do absolutely nothing for her that way the little ingrate will miss the little things that you did for her before. If living together becomes unbearable, there's always the option of finding a new roommate.

Answer 3

She may need meds.to cool her *** down She sounds like she is out of control.Dude you know how she is why in the hell would you say (not at work today) you looking for a fight.You can see she is at home why ask.Dude at one time I was where you are now with mine.But I learned to be one step a head of her and do what had to be done before she asked me.And I would write it down before I would forget it. If you love this flatmate what ever that is you need to get her on some prozac or some dame thing or dump her ***.She is not the only fish in the sea.Keep in touch let me know how it is going if you want.Here is my e-mail:[e-mail]

Answer 4

Well, what I would do is sit down, with a nice glass of wine or whatever you both enjoy and just ask her if anything is bothering her. Say that you know that the 2 of you are really close and good friends and that she can tell you anything at all. If she responds well then just keep listening and hopefully everything will work out. Hope I helped.

Answer 5

Discuss the issue with her. It may be that she's just a sarcastic insecure person and ya may have to deal with it...or you may desire to find a different roommate. No point in being uncomfortable in your own home.

Answer 6

Sounds like its time for a new flatmate, or perhaps a broomstick for adjusting the old ones attitude.