i just cant keep it in anymore !!!?

Question

my mom has been cheating on my dad now for 8 months and ive known about it for 3 months... Me and my Real dad dont get along at all... But me and my moms boyfriend do. i'm not suppose to tell anyone there together or else he'll lose his 2 kids and i dont want that to happen. Him and his wife are suppose to be gettin a divorce and so are my parents but i just cant keep this secret in any longer... What should i do?

Answer 1

Well, you don't have to do anything. It's kind of messed up that your mom would make you keep that kind of secret. But if you're still a kid yourself then you don't really need to make it your problem.

You could tell your real Dad about it which would make things worse, but if your parents are getting a divorce anyway then it doesn't really matter. Yeah. If I were you I'd just let it go.

Answer 2

Okay, I get that you don't feel like you can hold onto this secret anymore, but who do you feel inclined to tell? I'm a little disappointed in your mother, as much for cheating in the first place as for allowing her child to be burdened with her mess. It may be helpful to develop some perspective on this situation; and while the following is advice I'd give to anyone in a similar circumstance it's doubly true for you. Don't be the one telling someone their partner is cheating, no matter who the parties happen to be. You never know how people will receive that information, and people often have a tendency to (figuratively) kill the messenger. You're not so much keeping their secret as you are minding your own business and allowing chips to fall where they may. This isn't your mess, so it's not your responsibility to clean it up. This is the healthiest position to take and it will preserve YOUR sanity. By the way, your mom's boyfriend could be the greatest guy since Jesus but he still shouldn't be there. (*And if he doesn't want to lose his children, he shouldn't engage in behavior that puts their custody in jeopardy.) There's no right way to do the wrong thing. There are many reasons to cheat, but no honorable ones. Use this as a road map for what NOT to do in your own relationships. Remember how helpless you feel right now and never let your children be put in a similar dilemma when you're a parent.Beyond this, there's nothing you should even attempt to do. I wish you and your family all the best.

Answer 3

well don't tell your dad then you will mess up two families... If you mom and this guy for sure are going to divorce then why do you call it cheating... You and your real dad don't get along and if your mom lives with this new guy in the future or marries him... Why would you want to jeopardize his kids And your mom's relation ship with him? Grant M in Pennsylvania

Answer 4

Many times in a situation like that, I think people will say they're getting a divorce, but it never really happens. I think the best thing you can do is follow one piece of timeless advice: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Think about what you would want if you were in this situation. Talk to your mom. I'm really sorry you have to go through this. Your mom should be more sensitive and have more respect for how this affects you.

Answer 5

i would keep your mouth quiet you could create a big mess just let the adults settle this between themselves you just go on with your life as a kid or whatever you could cause alot of heartache for your mom and dad or this guy what a mess you should not get involved with someone until you are divorced so they should know better i'm disgusted with all of them

Answer 6

First of all this is not your place to tell what your mom is doing....she is in the wrong but it is her ''wrong'' not yours.
Second... learn from your family on how NOT to be when you have your own family.
if all you see is divorce and cheating then you will most likely become just like the people who you don't like to see doing this around you.
Just mind your own business and keep on moving. keep moving with the faith that you will get older and have a family of your own one day and you will honor and Cherish your spouse and children.
Sorry you have to see the most irresponsible acts of infidelity from the grown adults in your life.
Good luck and hold on to your own truth.

Answer 7

Its horrible you have to go through this. The best thing to do is to keep it in, as hard as that is. Because you wouldnt want to tell someone and cause problems. Talk to your mom, tell her its really bothering you, and you wanted to talk about everything. Do you have any brothers or sisters that know about this? If so, talk to them.
I woudlnt tell anyone else, in fear that it might somehow get back to your real dad or your moms bf's wife. You just never know how it could get back to them.
Hang in there, and good luck!

Answer 8

If you can't keep it in and have to talk with someone then do so, with someone you can trust. Best friend? Counsellor? Coach? Teacher? Sometimes just talking about it with someone in confidence can do wonders for making you feel better.
If you don't think that will help you I would suggest (in private) confronting your mother. Let her know how much it bugs you and that if she respects you and the other kids that she will stop cheating until she finalizes her divorce.

Answer 9

I know its a hard situation, but this is about your parents relationship and they have to deal with it themselves. Its not up to you to tell or get involved at all. Your not responsible for their marriage. Its not fair that you are caught in the middle, but its not someting you need to deal with, its their problem.
Good luck honey, I hope you can find a way to let go and relax. Eventually everything will work out, but its not on your shoulders to make it so, so its ok.

Answer 10

At some point, the truth is going to come out. I would approach them and tell them that they have to own up. Tell them what they are doing has an ill-effect on you (without judging them, of course, but it's eating away at you... that much is obvious). so either they can tell people, or you can. It's unfair for them to expect you to keep their secret.