Is my man losing interest or is it me?

Question

i have been married to my husband for 18 months. at beginning our relationship was booming lots of sex and attention, but then it went down hill after trying 4somes and 3somes and giving him watever he wanted to make him happy but was making me jelouse and naggy. i talked to him alot about how i was feeling he stopped having sex so made it worse with me thinking he was cheating. now we hardly talk, i try to be sexy he doesnt notice and he watches tv sometimes while having sex and ys i have talked to him about this as well. i asked how he would feel if i did that to him he said he doesnt know cause never happened and all he could give me is a guess so left it at that. i read men and venus in love and sorta made me feel better on how men are and how they need to be in there cave for there free time so now i try to let him be and not bug so much but very difficult seems im the only one trying but he says he loves me more then anything and doesnt want to lose me. any suggestions?

Answer 1

people , men and woman are just like kids, if you gave a kid everything they wanted or asked for would it really make them happy? and what type of person would they become, lazy,expecting everything for nothing and board.

Sounds like you made a man in to a big kid!!

What every person needs but may not want is structure and discipline.

I was over sexed and over weight at one time, lost interest in everything. Finally I realized that I had no discipline or structure in my life.

I started to weed out all the negative things in my life, no more cable ,canceled it for 3 month, through out all porn , and books of porn, got rid of all junk food. No more late nights and drink, just for 3 months.

With in three months I became in great shape, and me and my woman had a sex life like no other.

So maybe you guys just need to restart, get rid of the negative, after three month start to weed it back in but leave out the trash, rent a porn some night together, go dancing together. Join a dance cub together or a health club (Structure).

If after three months you to feel like having other people envoled in your sex life , than i would say to never swap, never evolve another couple, just another woman or man, and if you involve another woman tell your man that this means he has to do a three some with you and another man.(discipline)

Hope this helps, all great people in the world are great because of how they structured there life and the discipline to avoid the things that would hold them back from greatness. Also to be smart enough to use the tools that they have to build a better life..

Answer 2

Sex usually dies down after the first 1 1/2 or 2. I'm sure you guys had copious amounts of it. With guys, it's like they get their fill of it and they're good. They don't need to do it all of the time any more. As opposed to bachelors (who don't live with a girl), they're always seeking it, always on the prowl. This is why women think something is wrong with a guy when they don't want sex.

The whole threesome and foursome thing sounds very detrimental. It can be beneficial in SOME cases, but not all. It seems like you should've talked it through a little more before you hastily made a decision.

He seems very disinterested in you now. I mean... if watching TV while having sex wasn't a big blinking light with fireworks going off saying "I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE!" ...I'm not sure how else you'd get the point. Sounds like it's time to draw up those divorce papers. Good luck.

Regards,

Brandon

Answer 3

At lest threaten to leave, see if it shocks him into action! You need to work at marriage, it doesnt just happen, the 3somes & 4 somes were a REALLY bad idea, if you want a good relationship, it has to be just the 2 of you. Maybe he saw you in a different light, just as you were jelous. Don't do anything that you don't feel comfertable with, just to keep someone else happy.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear about this in your relationship. Once you invite peoplel into your realtionsihp having three somes it will never be the same. I know you may be trying, but make the tables turn on him. If you do to him what he does to you and he still shows no affection then something is wrong. Seek marriage counseling asap. I hope everything works out for you!

Answer 5

You should never got into the 3 some and 4 some. If you are married then be married. If you want to swing then swing. You can't have you cake and eat it too. Ya'll probably need soem third party to help work these things out. Go to counseling.

Answer 6

i was reading your question and as soon as I read - tried 4 some & 3 somes, I knew your marriaged would be doomed. What marriaged works with 3 and 4 people involved? Think about it.

Answer 7

honestly, i've never been in your situation. you guys crossed some lines that i've never crossed before....lines that my husband and i wouldn't cross.

4somes.3 somes..my guess....he liked what you guys were doig and then you couldn't handle it and backed off and he misses that excitement.

give him some time, but it may be too much for him. he might have desires that you can't quench by yourself....you may need some counseling to help you guys get back on track....like a sex therapist.

take care.

Answer 8

It is like giving candy to a child and then taking it away.You shouldn't have started the threesome and stuff till you were for sure you could handle it.You let him think you enjoyed it and then when he really started to enjoy it himself you get jealous and naggy.You weren't very honest with him to start with and now you want him to change.That is not right.Put yourself in his shoes.

Answer 9

Let him lose you- 3somes? 4somes? Why would u lower your standards? Imagine what crap it'll be in 10 years!

Answer 10

3somes 4 somes ruin marriages.