Friends WRONG? Am I RIGHT about my husband?
I would always laugh at how in movies someone would just fall from the top (financially) but now that it has happened to my husband, I am in thick soup.
A litle background. My husband is an orphan, he was brought up in an orphange and has no relatives he knows. He struggled (and I am really proud of it) and became what he is ... And I love a lot for his hardwork. Recently he lost kinda all of it.
Point is, my friends say that I should leave him. YYY came and told me I should leave him coz he is worthless and no longer rich and I shud get a new life. DTY comes and tells me that he hardly has anything for himself and can afford to take care of me. I went to HHS (supposed best friend) to help me with this confusion but all I got was - You are bloody sentimental - just bcoz I told her I don't like seeing him like that and I started crying.
Am I wrong?
2007-11-07 22:13:12 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I really don't want to leave. I want to stay there for him. But these ppl are my friends, right? I have known them for ages! Why would they want something bad. These friends are quite rich themselves, so are they saying these things coz the cant stand poverty?
At the beginning I was thought about leaving, but I really can't stand to see my husband in that state, alone. He wants me to be there and I want to be there.
Am I too sentimental? Are my friends more logical?
Just so you know ... I earn myself and quite a lot. So I can help him out financially also. I am not just living off him ...
2007-11-07 22:14:31 · update #1
One more thing ... I keep scolding myself for it .... am I being too emotionally attached? Am I being " silly in love ". Am I being laughed at?
IS it really bad to care ? he is my husband right? And I don't want to forget things he did for me when he was rich ... right?
2007-11-07 22:43:31 · update #2
You should not listen to what your friends have to say cause in the future all that matters is "your" happiness! If you truly love him, then you should hang in there. Things can always change for the better if you two have your mind set on it together. Stop letting so called friends whom know nothing about your love for one another get in the way! Follow your heart for now and give love a chance and see where that gets you. Just cause he's not all that and rich right now doesn't mean he doesn't have a future. With you by his side supporting him, things can only change for the best.
2007-11-08 17:56:42 · answer #1 · answered by Luv4Nevaeh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shame,Shame, Shame on all of the "friends" that would push you in that way about such a personal issue.
I don't care how long they have been your friends, they should support your decisions, not form them for you.
Money isn't anything and if you are living okay and you love your husband then where is the problem? EVERY marriage has ups and downs, some more extreme than others. Seems like these days people give up too easy. Divorce is to easy to obtain.
Love doesn't not have a price tag. You said that you don't want to leave your husband, so end of story!!
Unless you are not telling the whole story and your husband is on drug or alcohol or is beating you, your friends are wrong about throwing in their negative opinions reguarding your hubby. Real friends would gang up and try to help with or fix the problem. Give him support instead of kicking him when he is down. What kind of snobs retreat just because there isn't money like there used to be. Get new friends!!!
No, I do not think that you are sentimental, because you hurt for your husband, You're HUMAN. You are not wrong, you are being strong and I for one am very proud of you for hanging in there!!
One suggestion though, since your hubby has made such a drastic turn around, there must be a reason. You really need to find that reason if you haven't already and you must repair the problem or get help for it.
Good Luck, I wish you strength and happiness. (And new friends. lol)
2007-11-08 21:10:47 · answer #2 · answered by DeltaQueen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear you are even lucky to have a husband,some one to love you.Marriage and love has nothing to do with a person's financial status.It is for better and for worse.
You do not have real friends am sorry to tell you this, what kinda friend advices a woman to leave her husband just cause he is broke?what if he suddenly not just looses all his money but becomes very sick and can't do anything or himself?would you leave him?how will you feel if some one does it to you?how about your concience?would you be able to live with it?Listen don't allow anyone to decieve you.Your duty is to support your husband, love him like you never have before give all the help you can so he can build up again.This could happen to anyone.it's a good thing you are earning a good pay.Forget what your so called friends might say and surport your husband.
I have learnt from experience that life is short.I just lost my husband and I tell you, you better make the best of your marriage and live life like there is no tommorow.
Am sure when your husband gets up again your friends will be ashamed.You hang on to your good values girl.
2007-11-07 22:50:05 · answer #3 · answered by sadia 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Loose your friends, you marry for rich or poorer, you are an idiot if you leave, this is what the true meaning of family is, to stay with each other when times are bad no matter what. Are you religious at all, or you that materialistic, come on! Personally I would like to tell your friends to **** themselves. your husband may have a hard time getting back on his feet, he may seem like he isn't trying but it will be because he is stuck not knowing what to do/ seriously leave your friends nowwwwwwwwwwwwww
ps it wouldnt hurt for you to get a job as well. some women do that these days lol
2007-11-08 01:34:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your friends are VERY wrong! You don't just leave someone you are married to because he has fallen on hard financial times. No, you are not being sentimental, you are being true to your marriage. If you make good money, then you being able to pay the bills gives your husband the time to get his feet back underneath of himself. If he were able to drag himself out of poverty once, he can do it again!
Good luck and stay strong in your marriage!
2007-11-07 22:19:18 · answer #5 · answered by Debi 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world are you listening to your friends?? If you really love your husband, for better or for worse, remember those vows, stay with him and help him work this out!!!! You will not have a marriage if you listen to your friends, and if they are making you feel guilty by them saying that they have money and you do not and they are throwing it in your face, are they really friends anyways??
Are they making you feel guilty because they have money and you do not???? With friends like them, who needs enemies??????
Your friends are worthless and they should get a new life.
Get rid of your so-called friends, stick to your vows and your marriage and support your husband, you are going through this together, not just him, so you BOTH do not have money, it is not just him, stick to your vows, put your heads together, and come up with something.
If you are proud of your husband and where he came from and how to struggle, then take a lesson from him and put your heads together and get out of your financial mess.
Support him, dump your friends, and support your husband!!!!!
It is totally not fair to leave this up to your husband while you are out with your friends and listening to them tell you what to do with your life.
It is not all about money, honey.
2007-11-07 22:55:53 · answer #6 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right, and your friends are very selfish people. Help him to get back on his feet. You took a vow, "in good times, and in bad". He really needs your support now.
Just make sure that he does not sit back and give up. Make him get therapy if he is going through depression because of his misfortune.
You are a good person. Think about how your friends would treat you if you suddenly had to live in poverty. I would not call them true friends.
2007-11-07 22:23:19 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Remember your wedding vows? "For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health". That says is all, if you are going to leave him in the time of his need then you are very cold hearted. Your friends are snobs. If he has worked his way up from nothing once he can and probably will do it again, and probably be a lot more careful the next time.
2007-11-08 04:45:28 · answer #8 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay with your man cutie! You are admirable for doing so...It says a lto about your character...As for your friends...Well, I am a soldier in Iraq who is wealthier than most, and if my friends told me this, I would knock some sense into them...They arent your friends sweetie, they are a bunch of superficial, self-indulgent, self egotistical people who desire money to be happy not love...They couldnt understand how you feel unless they went through what you have or are going through what you are...Good luck cutie and remember that this soldier admires you!
2007-11-07 22:35:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have to admit I didn't read your whole question. The problem as I see it is that you've brought your friends into it making it basically marriage by committee. You and your husband need to communicate without the outside interference. Yes, you are wrong to involve your friends. It's none of their business. (Marriage isn't just about money.)
2007-11-07 22:22:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋