What is one to do, my partner cannot communicate when we argue?

Question

What can you suggest my partner when we have issues i like to sit down and discuss them calmly and we always end up in a massive arguement only after ignoring one another he will communicate via text messages when we are in the same house, the text messages are always very soppy and full of apologies. It happens every time. We love one another dearly but he loses his temper and says things he regrets where i am calm and never lose my temper. How do i get him out of this, i have sat down and tried but he just says that he cannot express his feelings verbally. Help cos i dont know what else to do?????: I am 8 yrs his senior

Answer 1

This is a very common way for guys to behave. Have you ever read the book "Men are from Mars,Women from Venus"? Could you get a copy for him? This will help him to understand things from a women's point of view. Women can, in general, discuss their feelings easily, men tend to run away from discussion because they see it as just a personal attack on them, they go off to their "cave". This book is full of useful advice for both men and women.

Answer 2

You cannot force someone to express anything if he doesn't want to or is not capable of. That is one choice of his that you have to respect and be patient of. If you have none of both, you lose. Life is like a game. Sometimes, you have to take the long route to get to the target spot. It usually is the forsaken path and very few ever find out the good results it holds. Be good, be fair, be better than you normally are. Things will turn out its best in time.

Answer 3

Communicate any way that works. He prefers to text and you prefer the face-to-face. Face to face sounds like too much for him emotionally( he loses his temper). Texting sounds like a good idea in this case.

Answer 4

I observe that many human beings think of it rather is ordinary. Even healthy. yet for me, I in no way rather have been given my rocks off with the assumption of residing with somebody who hated my guts. i think i'm basically humorous that way. My mom and dad had a controversy a minimum of three times a week for as long as I knew them. I in no way offered into that crap approximately 'undesirable breath is greater suitable than no breath in any respect'. provide me clean air and the liberty from somebody yelling at me each and all of the time over somebody yelling at me each and all of the time.

Answer 5

i think you need to try to understand him. he is not good at expressing his feelings. but he is actually trying via text at least. everyone is different, you can sit and talk but he can't. compromise for each other and try to find a way to solve problems.even if you force him to sit and talk, its gonna be very awkward and possibly things may go wrong way like breaking up.i know you would like to talk, and i prefer that way too. but give him chance to express his feelings on his way too.

Answer 6

Let him write his feelings. If he can express himself on paper, encourage him to. Have him write it all out and let you read it.

The bottom line emotion for anger is fear. Fear of losing something, fear of not getting something you want. Fear of looking stupid or less than.....fear of abandonment... the list goes on. So what you are seeing in your husband is fear. Maybe that will help you figure out what is up with him.

Answer 7

It's pretty difficult to teach an adult how to communicate effectively and be emotionally stable. An adult either is emotionally stable or is not, they either are good communicators or not. You made a bad pick.

Answer 8

People that do things differently to you are not automatically wrong.

Answer 9

try to learn and understand his style of communication, it will also help you to know him better

Answer 10

ask him to wright them down then as he can express himself that way..