Is it right for a married couple to stay together just for the sake of the kids when their marriage is not wel

Question

Here's the catch: 1) wife not sleeping with hubby anymore instead with the kids. 2) not having sex for almost 3 1/2 yrs. 3) hubby thought wife only needs his money. 4) wife talks a lot when with her friends and not that bubbly when it comes to hubby

Answer 1

no its not rite,how will u keep ur kids happy if u guyz aren't happy together.kids do understand n can easily make out if problems crop up b/w parents.so it effects them ina much worse manner.so its better tht if 2 people arn't happy together they should go on different ways but first they should make all arangments tht children don't get affected

Answer 2

Here's what I think... Marriage is forever binding and a blessed union between two ppl that love each other more than anything in the world...

Before ruinning this? Try to think about what made you fall in love with them in the first place. The way they laughed or even made you laugh... was it their smile or unbelievable good soul... did go out of their way to treat you like you've always wanted... now ask urself... Did you lose that along the way? Getting married bc you have kids and staying together bc you have kids is never a solution to live out ur marriage.

Talk with each other and find out what went wrong... see if you still have that spark! Then... seek counseling... this isn't the end of a relationship... sometimes a good counselor is the beginning of a better one! Also I would suggest to read the 5 love languages by Gary Chapman!! It will help the both of you to understand each other better!

When ppl first get married they both go out of their way to make the other person fall in love with them... sweet things they do, spending time together, saying the right things, hugs and kissed, and gifts... so when expressing ALL of these you tend to hit a nail somewhere! So figure out which language is the way to communicate best!

BEST OF LUCK!

Answer 3

Sounds very familiar to me.
I think something must have to happen for one of you to actually make the move and say 'right, this isn't working, what are we going to do about it?"
People can be legally separated whilst still living in the same house, something I have recently found out, if that is easier on your children maybe try that?
Otherwise, bite the bullet, get out and start a new life. It is so easy to just be 'comfortable' in your marriage, but I think in the long run, the child/children may be better off without their parents together.
I am not an expert but face a very similar situation.

I like Olivias answer :)))

Answer 4

The only way for this to work out is if this a situation agreeable for both parents.

It's not the best by any means. But if both parents can agree to work together to raise the kids and live as roomies, I suppose it can be done.

I agree it takes ALOT of maturity, honesty and commitment that some people are not equipted to handle. But if you can not even be friends, why even try? Sounds to me like the wife is not even willing to be on friendly terms her hubby. They need to talk to each other.

Answer 5

Weigh the pro's and cons and if divorce is really not an option then you need to be in a "Live in' friendship with your hubby..keep your expectations at minimum and if u really miss sex..there are options for gratification without getting caught...even if u want to have an affair..keep ur expectations at a base level..it usually when lovers expectations cross the baseline that the chances of getting caught multiply.Take each day as a new day when it comes to an affair..if today u didnt get caught..then yesterday or the past doesnt matter.I hate othr "Morally right" responses..if only they knew what we go thru in our lifeless marriages.We are only trying to save our family and our sanity from breaking up!!!!

Answer 6

Dear Karen,

let me ask you something. when and how did it happened? was it a particular fight after that this started..and start going on for forever, or something just happened gradually and drifted you apart? where did it all started ?

marriage is a compromise. if you are just staying together for kids, you are ruining their life more. Kids are very sharp and they pick up everything around them very quickly..you can give them a better childhood by going your separate ways then together.

if you really want to do something for your kids sake, what u do is give another try to your marriage bfr making a decision. And try means just like little step ahead and wait for hubby to meet also etc, no. Because this is the last straw, go all the wayyyyyyyy to meet your husband to make it work if thats what it takes. husband and wife needs to sit together and discuss what went wrong, where it went wrong and what do they really feel. Be sure tht you both say whatever you really feel. After all this, and before ending it, i dont think there would be anything that can hurt more than that. discuss what you guyz want, how its affecting your kids, and if you both are willing to give it a try. go out for a dinner without kids, in a nice romantic restaurant, and try to work things out. Just sitting, making your life miserable will not help. you have to act. its your turn to take matter in your own hands, your life, your kids life, all depends on you. try to bring the charm of husband and wife back in your life, and for that you both need to sit down and talk!

r u really willing to do what it takes for the kids sake and for yourself? stop letting life drag on till its too late and take matter in your hands, to make it work! if you are willing to go all the way, i doubt anything can stop you!

start dressing up nice for your hubby, each small details counts to get ur marriage back on track! and the wife better start getting her bubbly personality back around her husband!!

P.S : you wrote hubby THOUGHT wife married him only for money, and if thats not the case Clear The Air!

Good Luck!

Answer 7

okay i dont think its right to stay together just because you have kids. my parents are apart they have been since i was 9 and i am 22 now. it was the best thing for all of us. not saying that is the case with every one. but sometimes it can be healthier for the family. i would first try to work things out and maybe go to marriage counciling. talk to one another and figure out where it all began and go from there. keep an open mind and listen. be patient do try to rush things. it takes time to heal relationships. but you both have to really want it.

Answer 8

It depends on your situation.
1) If there's violence involve, You leave NOW.
2) It depends on how old are the kids. If they are old enaugh then you have to sit thm down to explain why things is not right, what you want to do, how are you going to arrange to see them, and always always assure them you will always be with them in heart, contact number, address etc. If they are still too young to understand then you just have to bite the bullet and stay, rearrange your financial banking. Prepare for the ultimate arrangement.
3) As for sex. Do not stray. It's not worth it. It will do more harm than you can ever imagine. ( seen it ). If you are still in the same house with your partner, there is a chance to mend the differences.
Good luck to you, my friend.

Answer 9

it doesn't sounds good, but i think there's no more reason to stay together.. but rather let go of each other. in this current time of the world, you don't have to be stucked up in any situation that you are no longer happy and content...the kids will exactly be affected but all of us are individuals that have to go unto our lives as long as we are still needed here in the world...if a married couple was to decide to separate they should done it in a very smooth and careful process... they must to let their kids understand the situation, it's quite difficult but its should be done.... just assure the kids that whatever happens both their parents will stay supporting them....they will be hurt badly....but time heal all wounds...when they grow old and have their own, they will realize and understand.

Answer 10

Is not right to stay together just for the kids. If you are not happy what makes you think that the kids are happy? Kids will grow up, get married, and you?

Answer 11

No. It is NEVER right to stay together for the kids. This is a horrible, terrible mistake. So many parents do it, only to find out later that their kids wished they would have gotten divorced much earlier. Your kids will know you have stayed together for them and it will upset them. It will tell them that THEY were the reason for your unhappiness. And before you say that's not true, think about it: you're saying, "I was miserable on your behalf. I was miserable because of you." This is a really bad idea. Please think about what you are doing.