She is having their baby in a few weeks and he is going out every night and stays out until all hours. Lies to her about where he is b/c she has checked up on him.
I think he is and have told her my opinion but she wants "Proof". I told her that she is NOT going to catch him on top of another girl if that's what she's looking for!!! She is so naive! What more can I do as a mother to PROVE to her that he is cheating on her. Their sexlife has gone down since she found out she was pregnant. BUT it wasn't very active before anyway. Heck I'm surprised she's pregnant! lol
I am thinking of having him 'watched'. Am I wrong to TRY and prove it to her? Should I butt out? She is so hurt by him but doesn't want to leave him 'just yet'.
2007-11-07 18:10:38 · 8 answers · asked by †..Jetta..† 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think that no matter how you try to prove things to your daughter, until she's ready to accept reality, it will be useless. As her mom and friend, the best you can do (since you've relayed already the facts of her bf cheating) will be to support her since she will be soon be a mom. Try to be with her and do activities where she can gain strength so that when the bf in the future gets out of the picture, she can move on.
2007-11-07 18:20:31 · answer #1 · answered by cvgira 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps its a good idea to leave it till after the stress of having a baby has passed alittle, im sure the last thing she wants right now is to be worrying about wether or not her bfs seeing other girls or not. Id prefer my mum to be looking after me, instead of making me worry. I understand what you are trying to do, but she may not want to believe it since she may need to rely on him, and severing that realtionship so close to a birth is something she may not want to deal with right now. Things may change for her boyfriend after the birth anyway, he may suddenly take an interest in the child. I'd just leave it till after the birth to worry about, your daughters happiness should be the first concern, I think.
2007-11-07 18:16:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are waaaay too involved in your daughter's life. You need to step back and stay out of their relationship because believe it or not, you could push her further into his arms by attacking him or trying to prove he is the bad guy. She is probably very scared right now, and while I am sure you are confident that she could raise their child by herself with your help, that is not what any mother truly wants...
This is one mistake she is going to have to make for yourself if, in fact, he is cheating on her.
Look, put it this way. Let's just say he's not cheating and he's trying to work out his freak out about having a baby through going out with friends and whatnot. Let's say that you try to prove to her that he is a liar...and after the baby comes he is a dreamboat partner...YOU are going to be the one that gets left out in the cold because you haven't been supportive of them.
My advice? Keep you mouth closed, say things that are positive...not untrue, just positive and helpful and affirming...that's what she needs right now.
You can't protect her anymore, she is about to become a mother herself and it is time for her to face the cold-harsh world so she can prevent her child from having to do the same too young....
Best wishes. Congrats on becoming a grandmom.
2007-11-07 19:15:31 · answer #3 · answered by joellemoe 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No mom don't! What's going to happen is...You are going to find out he is cheating and you're going to tell her....Whats going to happen is, she is going to stay with him and then she's going to be mad with you. She's pregnant and he's going to use that. He'll probably say something stupid like...Well hun i was scared to have sex with you because i didn't want to hurt the baby. If she naive the way you say she is, she'll believe him. Then you probably wont have a relationship with your daughter or your grandchild because he will keep them away. Let her find out on her own. DON'T DO IT! PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!!!!!
2007-11-08 02:21:56 · answer #4 · answered by irishpr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong. Your her mother. You care about her. You should have him watched. But not to closely. But be aware, their is a very big chance he walks out on your daughter. Good Luck. If you need anymore help, Email me.
--Dr. D.
2007-11-08 00:16:24 · answer #5 · answered by bamaboy4325 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to start documenting his infidelity right away because once she has the baby, her loser boyfriend is gonna skip town. At least this way you have some evidence when you take him to court to get him to pay for child support.
2007-11-07 18:41:05 · answer #6 · answered by Revolutionista barista 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
from what i pick up he has not cheated on her yet he would if someone is willing but no one is right but still if you get in between them you daughter will blame you so you or in a lose lose situation
2007-11-07 19:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by psychic.sylvia 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you should not be involved. She is determined to believe what she wants and it's not your place to play detective.
2007-11-07 18:14:32 · answer #8 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋