try to get over him he calls me unexpectedly telling me he loves me and our 2 baby girls on top of that hekeeps making me promises that he's gonna send me money so i can see him just someone please help me i don't know what to do i think i might be addicted to him.
2007-11-07 16:50:15 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
did it ever occur to you that he's f'd up when he calls you?
2007-11-07 16:54:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you are addicted to him. I think you have some self esteem issues. This guy is a drug addict and alcoholic. Is that the type of father you want for your children? Is that the type of man you want as a husband? He is obviously not reliable, since he makes promises but never keeps them. He knows he can string you along and you will bite every time. So, if you want a relationship with him, you need to stand firm and tell him exactly what needs to happen. You don't want some druggie hanging around your girls. If he wants to be there for his daughters, he needs to kick his addictions, get some counseling, and learn how to be a real man. You also need some counseling to learn how to be the strong and respectable mother those babies need. Your children need you, and they need a father that is a good role model. Best of luck to you.
2007-11-07 17:06:55 · answer #2 · answered by notarycat 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow thats not a healthy way to love. I am like your boyfriend. the problem was me and how i couldnt admit and really accept that i am an addict alcoholic. And as long as i found someone to love me like that then i didnt ever see my part in the problems. I have been blameing everyone and everything. I wish i would of had my partner go get help for him through alonon That is for people who are involed with us in a realationship. That is so attractive and leads us to our own support groups.I never had my x stand up for our family and ever get invold in his own so i could want help for me.But i sure knew how to stay stuck.Its a family disease and you dont have your self to blame.You didnt cause it! You cant cure it,and You sure cant control it. Listen to that gut its telling you nothing will change But has a committed healthy one in the realationship Dont throw in the towel yet.. Lead by example.Trust God 1st and pray that you can detach with love.Good Luck .
2007-11-07 17:39:03 · answer #3 · answered by mary lou 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
RUN, and fast. Never look back, or you will never have anything. He will rob you blind right under your nose, and take food out of your children's mouths. Not trying to be mean, but been there done that. If he doesn't want help, there is nothing you can do, he will not change. It only gets worse. He does not love you, he loves what you have to offer him. Find someone who deserves to be with you, someone that will not keep making empty promises, trust me-they won't be kept. In any case, I wish you luck!
2007-11-07 16:55:48 · answer #4 · answered by proudmommy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
deep down in your heart you do know .he is no good to you while he is using and drinking you have already lost your kids because of him ,yes you are very co depended so work on that start by having nothing at all to so with this guy if he really loved u he wouldn't be trying to drag you down with him .see a counselor and pick your self op and start making a new life for yourself and kids is he more importan than them ask your self these questions i know what its like i was once there my self it took a lot of courage but i did it and my life just could not be better all the best i really mean it :-) keep your chin up
2007-11-07 17:04:52 · answer #5 · answered by this account is no longer in use 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to go and take care of your girls and stop worrying about him. Why are they with your mother? When you have children they are the most important thing and you now come in second. You need to do what is best for them and that is to have a mother and not to be around a drug addict and a drunk. They deserve better and you need to give it to them. Change your number, quit talking to him you cannot help him until he helps himself and go be the mother that those girls need.
2007-11-07 17:00:02 · answer #6 · answered by kim h 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
baby its not addiction to him its you are scared being without him you said he has a problem do you want this to destroy your children having a dad for a father whom is addicted isnt the way you want to raise your kids cause your little daughter or son will follow in his an your footsteps so please get your self a list of messenger friends an then you want be a long my husband commited suicide an i thought id never get over it but with the help of all my yahoo messnger friends i am now able to move on with my life so jus remeber you dont want that for your little ones
2007-11-07 23:53:25 · answer #7 · answered by D S 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well I'm with a pot addict so hears what i will tell you. i go to something called al anon and its a support group for family members of alcohol and drugs addicts and they help you learn that you have to let them make their own mistakes and that you have to keep yourself from getting hurt or adding to the reason they are the way they are.
i think you need to try this and see what you get out of it.
and if your trully want to be over him then al anon will help you not get into the same sorrort of relationship again.
2007-11-07 19:07:12 · answer #8 · answered by silk 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A junkie cannot keep promises to himself, much less anyone else. It's sad that he needs help and won't get it. Why don't you try and become addicted to your girls and make sure they don't have to live with an addict in their lifes? I would stop anything that would hurt my kids and trust me, he will hurt them. No one comes out well from a relationship with a drug or alcohol addicted person. You need help yourself in order to get away from him. You cannot help him but you can help yourself.
2007-11-07 16:55:37 · answer #9 · answered by Chloe 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You need to stop this...you are an enabler. You cannot fix the guy, he has to do it for himself. Don't you realize that his addictions make him into a liar? Can't you see he is all smoke and mirrors? You need to get some psychological help to break your habit of letting this guy into your life every time he has a moment of clarity though the drug induced haze.
2007-11-07 17:04:32 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off sorry but he doesn't respect you.You need to practice tough love & not let him take advantage of you.Take back your self respect & be tough with him he is as dependant on you as he is the drugs.Yor kids need a role model & maybe he does as well.So show him what your made of.Unless he makes an effort to get clean it's best to not deal with him at all.He may need you to be strong where he is weak.I hope you the best
2007-11-07 17:04:24 · answer #11 · answered by Amy c 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋