Is marriage really nessary?

Question

I'm 25 have a wonder relationship with my boyfriend. I'm thinking about moving in with him in the near future. I know people say wait till marriage. What if you don't want to get married? I know of people just being life partners not just gays but adults with kids they just don't feel the need to get married.

Now a days why get married besides for the tax beaks and fun wedding party.
I feel the sanctity of marriage is dead. No one wait till they are married. Too many marriages end after a year or 2 now a days.

Can someone tell me why? Don't get all religious on me. I'm raised Catholic but don't agree on many things organized religion teaches. That's another topic.

What are some of your views on marriage in this day and age?

All good answers I like hearing everyones views. I'm not against marriage. My parents are still together. Some one said living with one foot out the door. NO if the 2 of you are truly committed to each other. You will not run. Plenty or married people have affairs WHY?

The way I see it you don't need to prove your love to anyone but the one you love.

Answer 1

It is definately not necessary. It is relatively outdated but seem to give the church goers and republicans something to feel like they've accomplished. Some people like it because it makes them feel they are legally connect - they truely belong to one another. I don't know why really - I think that as long as you love the person you are with, and they love you back and you can always communicate there is really no reason to get married. (i have 2 kids with the same man and am in NO rush to get married if i do at all) Some people do it for their parents to make other people proud - either way if you can withstand time with love in your heart its really just a piece of paper isn't it?

Answer 2

Everything you do in life is a challenge. Marriage is no exception. I am married and we lived together for almost six years before we finally got married. We both wanted to get married but we wanted to make sure collage was over and we were OK financially. I know for me personally I felt like I missed out on things after we got married by living together first. There was nothing new to experience the honeymoon was a vacation not anything worth remembering. It just took all the excitement of getting to know how to live with each other away. Now that we have a daughter I could not imagine not being married to this person for the rest of my life. We have been together for almost 13 years total, married 8. If you don't get married I think it would make it easier to call it quits when things get tough rather than sticking with it and working through the problems. Marriage is for life. Without marriage why bother, there is no commitment stopping you from whatever you want to do. I guess I'm just really for marriage and making things work no matter how hard you have to work to keep it alive.

Answer 3

You have less legal rights as a cohabitation girlfriend than as a wife. He can walk out the day you are supposed to deliver your baby. He can lock you out of the apartment. If you break up, he owes you no alimony. Those are your protections to give up.

Every couple I know says the fundamental nature of the relationship changed when they got married. The living together is not the same as marriage. There is an invisible other part, something that happens that takes a 7 year living together, and when they say I do, it all changes. What happened? Did the law change? Did the people around them change? Nope. Marriage put something invisible, but effectual and powerful inside how they connected to each other. They couldn't see it, but they could feel it, and it was significant.

You don't know yourself. You are yourself, and that gives you an intrinsic understanding, but not an expert understanding. Its the difference between understanding spoken English, and being able to teach it properly effectually and well to someone whose language you don't know.

Not knowing yourself means you are making decisions based on false data. You think you know you, and him, and what you are getting into, but you don't. Nobody knows ahead of time.

Be willing to ask why. What does it mean that some assumptions about you that you are basing your decisions on are false? It means you are going to learn.

You learn by trying, and being surprised. You expect one thing, and get the other. The bigger the difference between the two, the more significant the learning.

Reality - Expectation = Disappointment

Don't be surprised, if you are surprised. For the most part you may be surprised in a bad way. I hope not. Don't be surprised if it happens.

Answer 4

Well here goes.First of all"I love you, sex and shacking up" are NOT a commitment."I DO" is a commitment.
Marriage shows 2 people love each other enough to make a lifelong commitment to each other whereas shack ups are living with one foot out the door the whole time.
You are wrong about one thing, there are still many people who wait until they are married and if I were a betting man, I would bet you there are MANY more break ups of shack ups than there are divorces.We have no way of tracking all those though, but watch the Judge shows for a few weeks, you'll see what I'm telling you.Also the kids do better when both parents havelthe same last name.My pastor from back home told me that only his son and his son's friend were the ONLY 2 kids out of 36 in his room that had married parents.How sad!

Answer 5

In this day and age you do what works for you and the hel!with anyone who doesn't approve. They don't have to live your life you do. And if they have time to judge you, then the don't have time to read the bible, bc the bible says don't judge, unless you want to be judged by the same sword.So if you don't want to be married than don't. NO JUDGEMENT! But with that being said it is not fair for you to generalize marriages by saying the sanctity is dead in marriage, I think that depends on the marriage. In my marriage, we believe in honor, respect, love (not just infatuation, but love thru the good the bad and the ugly,as long as it doesn't cross the lines of abuse). Yes, alot of people get divorced after a year or two, but I sincerly believe those people didn't want a marriage they wanted a wedding, and that is what they got. Marriage is challenging like any relationship, and like any relationship sometimes they fail. People grow apart, people change, and some people again just want a wedding. But some of us really value marriage, and we respect the vows we made. We truly know that what you put in is what you will get out of it. But again DO YOU! Whatever works for you works for me, as long as your happy, than I am happy, No judgement.

Answer 6

Marriage is by far more than a tax break and a wedding party and the sanctity of marriage isn't dead that is just the enviroment you are living with and clearly if you are wanting to just "live" with your boyfriend.

It is a proven fact that when you live together you have a higher chance of the relationship ending and even higher rate of divorce if you marry afterwards.

Answer 7

No, marriage isn't necessary, if you just want casual affairs for the rest of your life. When you begin to pay for a home together, start having a child, and invest all your time in this relationship and find out he's having an affair on you, then you'll see the result of your decision about not getting married.

Answer 8

If it doesn't work out and you are not married, you can be left with nothing. There is also insurance and kids to consider. Marriage isn't dead. I have been married for 13 years. It might not be everyday a rose garden, but I am thankful I married him. Also, I think in a married commitment it is harder to just pack up and leave when the going gets tough.

Answer 9

No one has to get married if they don't want to, and that's better than getting married without taking it seriously. But just because so many people aren't respecting their marriages doesn't mean you have to give up on it.

I want to be married because, for me, it shows commitment. Not just for everyone else to see but between the husband and wife. I guess I am still a pretty traditional girl despite some view changes over my college years and such.

Answer 10

Marriage shows true commitment and makes your significant other your immediate family in the eyes of the law......it IS about a piece of paper, but that piece of paper means alot - especially if you have kids. The fact that half of marriages end in divorce doesn't reflect negatively on the the institution of marriage - it makes the individuals involed in the marriage look bad. Marriage is a good thing. I believe people who downplay the point of it have commitment issues.


Also if you are truely commited to each other, why not make it official instead of making excuses as to why you don't have to prove your love for each other?

Answer 11

Yeah,,,,,,,marriage is quite a great thing for most of people, maybe because it makes them feel happy and confortable, and the home provide them a place to rest themselves. But on the other hand, if both of you feel good and don't care if there is marriage or not, it doesn't matter. Just live the life you preffer. My husband and I met at interracialmatch.com, and we have married for 2 years and I also think it is a great thing to have a husband.