I need some brutally honest answers, how important is love?

Question

well, let's see if I can explain my situation...
I met a man, who erased every guy I ever thought I had feelings for, it's not been intense, like one of the men I had fallen for in the past, or as eratic as my first love... but this, this is deeper for me, I feel like I have met the only person in the entire world who was meant to know me in ways my best friends might never know me. It's a beautiful feeling, and as I age I can respect our relationship and feelings toward each other more without the dreaded fear of rejection and abandonment... I love him, we've talked about spending our lives together, and if I want anyone teeth in a bowl beside mine 40 years from now, no one's dentures but his will do!!
But, here's the problem... he has absolutely no ambition to do anything with his life that might in some way include actually working... he believes himself destined for greatness.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to be destined for greatness too, but having children and a family providing for them is important, more important than what I wish I could be... so what I am really asking is this... is it worth it? Should I marry him even though I know that all the burden of bills and financial situations would be completely on me??

all of you are right, and I didn't want to admit it... I love him but love isn't always enough...

Answer 1

I think you would be making a huge mistake by marrying this man. Just because we love someone, doesn't mean they are the right person for us. Part of marriage is your future goals and dreams together. You have an idea of children, building a life together. Where does his lack of ambition fit into that? You should have common goals and means of getting there. Otherwise, it's just you in love with the idea....not the man!

Answer 2

You are the only one that can answer this question. Are you ok with bearing the burden of the financial stability of your family? Are you ok to let him pursue his dreams, that may never come true? If you are then ok. If not, then don't continue with this. Look at the long run, the future. Would you hold any resentment towards him if you did end up being the sole bread winner?
But in the end, love does matter immensely. Happiness matters more than all the money in the world.

Answer 3

Tell him that he needs to pull his head out of the clouds and to get a job. Everyone may feel this is doesn't mean you sit on your butt and ignore the relatiy of life grow up, get a job, be a part of society, get married have some kids and die.

It is time to tell this guy that if he doesn't wake up from his dream and to start living in the here and now that he will lose you forever. Come on everyone would love to sit and relax ansd wait for financial windfall to come along so you never have to work. It's called a dream, a miracle, wishful thinking.

Basically this guys needs to be told off to get of his lazy a ss and find gainful employment if he wants to keep you in his life and one day have a marriage and kids.

Answer 4

With this kind of a guy, you will never see his dentures in a bowl next to yours, because he will never be able to afford any!

Have the courage to get out of this relationship and find someone who respects you enough to want to work and provide for you. There is nothing wrong with you working, but you should never have to carry the whole load.

Answer 5

Love can't fill your stomach when you hungry, and it can't keep the house warm when the bills are not paid. Yes love is important in a marriage but it also has to have trust understanding commitment, faith, it sounds as if you are willing to do all these things, the question is , is he willing to put all of those things into the relationship. If the answer is no then maybe you need to rethink the relationship.

Answer 6

Being destined for greatness doesn't put food on the table or a roof over your head.

If you just want the fun part of a relationship then he sounds like the guy for you.

Love is very important but a relationship needs more than love to succeed.

Answer 7

Love is important, but so is compromise and teamwork. If you were to marry him you both should carry equal weight. How will you survive if you don't know how he will provide for you. It's unfair to carry the burden of financial hardship alone and if he's not making an effort to pursue greatness and waiting for it to come to him, then maybe you need to walk away. You should want to grow together and not expect things to happen on their own.

Answer 8

You have to chase your dreams. My hubby is an at home dad due to a serious injury that he got a work but he provided for us for 14 years and never expected me to work outside of the home. That is a real man. I could not just sit on my butt and expect everyone to support me and I dont see how he can do that! You need to re-think marriage because you will start to despise him for not caring enough to "help out". Do you love him enough to take the food out of your children's mouths because he is too sorry to get a job?

Answer 9

do not put yourself or children through this... you love him but love doesn't pay the bills. love is many things...like compassion, and consideration. you do not have those things already because he doesn't want to do anything with his life let alone for a wife and children.....get over it because you will later if not now. to carry everything on your own is not love and there a lot of men out there that are a better gamble.

Answer 10

Being destined for greatness is an excellent excuse to sit on your butt all day and do nothing, waiting for the greatness to come along.

Those people who really do acheive something remarkable in life do it through hard work. It doesn't come knocking on the door, looking for them.

After time I believe you will come to resent him greatly, for holding you back and for not putting forth as much effort as you do. Move on.