I'm going through?

Question

some really hard times right now.....Will you tell me something funny? I really need the laugh.

Answer 1

Of course I'll treat you to my tyler durden special link for those who need it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXVwobiYRlU

Answer 2

My three year old talks to herself when she's sitting on the toilet trying to go poop..its so funny but I don't know if it's only funny to the people standing outside the door listening. I wish I could record it and save it for when she gets older, just an audio recording, she'll sit in there by herself and you can hear "c'mon, come out. It's OK, don't be scared - come on out poop." It's so hilarious!

Answer 3

Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol..."

Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"

"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.

Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"

"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."

"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.

Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."

Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"

Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."

i thought it was funny, hope u feel better soon! :)

Answer 4

we saw a cop driving down the road with the police dog in the back seat. My 3 year old daughter asked me what the doggy did to have to go to jail......

Answer 5

I went to a job site and it was ALLLLLLLL muddy and when I got out of my truck my shoes sank into the mus and I lost my shoes in the mud. I bent over to pull the shoes out and my assistant tried to move the truck and he covered me in mud.

Answer 6

I crashed into my garage with my car because I thought I saw a cat and hit what I thought was the brake. It was really the gas.

Answer 7

well there was this one joke my chem teacher told me, but iono if it'll cheer you up

one day there was a family of moles, of a papa mole, a momma mole and a baby mole. the poppa mole peeps out of his hole and takes a deep whiff and says 'mmmhh. smells like honey!'. the momma mole peeps up too and takes a deep breath and says 'mmhh. smells like maple syrup!' the baby mole then wants to smell the sweet air, but his parents are in the way of the hole. so he tries to squeeze through them and takes a whiff and says 'all i smell are molasses (mole asses)!'

well hope you feel better :]

Answer 8

Last week i was shopping in the mall... i dropped a box.. bent over and RIIIIP!.. my pants split open in back.. wow... i ran outta there and heard people laughing.

Answer 9

You Will Read This One Twice
March 29th, 2000 (No. 212)
AskMen.com Rates This Joke: 9/10

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi."
-from askmen.com

Answer 10

When I got home from work today I had to go pee real bad.I was talking on my cell phone while I was going pee,and dropped the phone in the toilet.Just bought a new phone.