Well my mom's family lives in a different city than my dad's family, so every thanksgiving we rotate who we go to. And I KNEW with all my heart that we went to my mom's family last year but my mom kept saying, NO, NO. but now i found proof that we went because of something i wrote to my friends in a notebook last thanksgiving.
So i told my parents (even though we've already made plans and told my mom's side of the family that we're coming) that we did go there and showed them what i wrote. And now they're in a big fight because my dad is like, "well that's not fair i want to see my family too, it's not fair to them." and my mom is like, "Well we already made plans! Nobody knows! I can't just tell them we're not coming!!" and they're yelling at each other.
I feel really bad since this is my fault. what should i do? who's family do you think we should go to?
2007-11-07 13:40:11 · 8 answers · asked by ♣swirley_gumdrops♣ 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Thanksgiving
and my mom is like, "NOBODY WANTS TO SEE MY FAMILY BUT ME!!" and almost started crying. it's not true i want to see both sides. and now both my parents are mad at me as well as each other.
2007-11-07 13:41:04 · update #1
they're not divorced and i'm 14.
2007-11-07 14:38:52 · update #2
They are using you to fight against each other - and that is not fair to you. You tried to tell your mom that you were with her last year and she chose not to listen. That is not your fault. Your dad seems to be gloating about it - that is not your fault either. If it were me i'd tell them both that you are choosing to behave like an adult and have Thanksgiving with your family - and that means the ones who are treating you like family. Your husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/SO, your kids or what have you are your family. If you continue to let them treat you like a tug of war rope - well you're the one that is going to get pulled apart. Divorce is hard on everyone - but can be a lot easier if people choose to act like adults. Sorry to e the witch here but it sounds to me like your the only one behaving like an adult in this mess. Don't allow them to continue to do it - or it will never stop. Good luck no matter what route you choose and i hope you are able to have a somewhat Happy Thanksgiving.
2007-11-07 14:02:15 · answer #1 · answered by purple dove 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off i must say that reading comprehension has gone out the window since nobody else understood what you meant in your question. i do, and as much as you might feel bad it's not really your fault, all you did was point out that you in fact were right about where you went last thanksgiving. there is nothing wrong with proving that you are right. your parents will get over it and figure out what to do, but probably the best thing is to just go to where ever you already have plans and make it up with the other side of the family on other holidays or something. its not your fault, your parents will work it out.
2007-11-07 23:03:51 · answer #2 · answered by pas211n 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy, this is too bad. But listen, you didn't do anything wrong. You need to let them work this out because it's their problem not yours.
They need to pick even and odd years. Mom's family is always on the even years, and Dad's on the odd, or the other way around...doesn't matter which as long as they stick to it.
But again, you're not at fault. In the future, you should probably stay out of things like this, because it's their problem and they need to work it out themselves. I guess your dad didn't remember either, huh? Try not to let it ruin Thanksgiving for you. Either way, you'll get to see grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins you don't see all the time and that's a good thing.
2007-11-08 12:41:07 · answer #3 · answered by Debdeb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Isn't divorce lovely? I know it is hard, have done it most of my life. If your parents are like mine cant stand to be in the same room with each other. I see a couple of things that might help. 1. Try and arrange for mom to have dinner at say Noon, and have dad's at 6 pm. then you could go to both.
2. Have dinner at your house for both families and who ever shows up shows. Or
3. don't go to either, tell them to grow up and have dinner with friends. Good luck.
2007-11-07 21:51:53 · answer #4 · answered by ywroseoftx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't both family come to your house if thats to many people then maybe your family can go to your moms's family on 11-24 then the next weekend go to your dad's family and then on thanksgiving day just have dinner with just you guys.
2007-11-08 14:10:00 · answer #5 · answered by sandy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first off i want to give you a big ((((hug))))....this is not an easy place to be....divorce is so hard on all sides....i know cuz i have been thru one....just know it is NOT your fault what so ever....if it would make you feel better just talk to both your mom and dad and tell them that them fighting over where you will be for the holidays is very painful and is taking the joy from the holidays...if you are not comfortable talking to them write them a letter....my girls have done that for me at times thru the years and it really is a safe way to communicate because it allows you to say what you have to say w/o their thoughts in the midst of what you have to say....let them know you love both of them but you want them to settle this w/o anger and w/o fighting....you really could inspire them to grow up a bit....divorce is hard on everyone....hope it all works out....and another ((((((hug))))))goes your way!!!
2007-11-08 07:55:42 · answer #6 · answered by daisybloom47 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just pray! and instead of going 2 them y wont both familys come 2 ur house 4 thanksgiving?
2007-11-07 21:47:12 · answer #7 · answered by sula 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, make what choice you think is best, no matter what anybody here says. Someone may deeply infulence your choice, but it's still your choice in the end.
I personally think you shouldn't have to choose between your mom and your dad. Make them come to you!
Hope that helps. :)
2007-11-07 22:54:46 · answer #8 · answered by Valerie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋