I'm was a divorced bachelor for 17 years...lived by myself and I ran a tight ship when it came to housekeeping. I met a woman and agreed to move in with her and her 14 year old son a year ago.......Since then...I've been organizing, painting landscaping, maintaining vehicles,etc. and working a 50 an hour a week job. ....Problem is...neither pick up after themselves...2 dogs, 2 cats, ... Her 14 year old son needs to be told to take he trash out......She works 40 hours a week also. Am I too "anal" in my ways?
2007-11-07 13:40:09 · 10 answers · asked by riverrat15666 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks to you all for the excellent answers so far!
2007-11-07 16:27:35 · update #1
Maybe the two of you could find a middle ground somewhere. She obviously isn't as concerned about orderliness as you are, so you are going to have a hard time convincing her to spend all her free time picking up. Maybe sit down and talk with her. Tell her that it is really important to you that the house be neat. Tell her that you will make an effort to relax (and then keep your promise), but that you would really appreciate it if she would meet you half way. Ask her to change the things that REALLY bother you, and try to turn a blind eye to those things that aren't life or death. When it comes to her son, I think he is just being a normal teen. If it takes telling him every day to take out the trash than do it....no harm done right. Just don't loose your cool.
2007-11-07 13:47:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, there's nothing wrong with wanting things to be organized and clean. I say have a talk and just let everyone know how your feeling and that you think there needs to be some changes. Set up a chores list. When I was 13/14 (whatever a teen) I cleaned the house like it was my duty. Not saying turn the kid to the nanny, but get some organization. You don't know how much that effects a person in college! I'm the same way, in college and now live by myself.
2007-11-07 15:05:26 · answer #2 · answered by dstyles15 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
But your girlfriend also works, and could be so tired to do other things around the house after. The kid might be adjusting to his new environment.
Maybe you need to be more clever to be able to get them to move so that things in the house can be a bit more organized. You can inject some fun when you do a family clean up day - when all three of you would be assigned specific spots to clean or work on, and then treat the family (including you) to a great dinner outside, as a prize. or something like that.
2007-11-07 18:44:30 · answer #3 · answered by boyplakwatsa.com 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're "anal", at all; you're just a clean, well-organized person, plain and simple. It's not easy to adjust to other people's habits after you've lived on your own for a while. How long have you lived together? Maybe you could teach them how to live in a clean home and how much easier life becomes when you're well organized. No, you're not anal, you just like a clean environment, like most people should.
2007-11-07 13:53:15 · answer #4 · answered by MiaMonique 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ah ha...Your just set in your ways. You already know that a relationship sometimes takes compromise. Your trying too hard to fix everything to your specifications at once, that is why your overwhelmed. Your only one person, let the tight ship come when you can, don't be so busy making a living that you forget to make the life. If she is worth it then relax a little and lower your expectations, not everyone is perfect! Good luck to you and yours...
2007-11-07 13:48:45 · answer #5 · answered by Cheri >^.^< 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-15 10:28:12 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am your female equivalent. I thought my husband and I would balance each other out, but that hasn't happened. I have just gotten tired from picking up after him. If you go in doing all these things yourself, you will always be the one to do them. If you are not ready for that, I would advise against the cohabitation. It is never wrong to have standards and you shouldn't lower them. If you had a cleaning problem you would be cleaning now instead of posting on Answers! ;)
2007-11-07 14:41:05 · answer #7 · answered by Really now 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Merging families is always difficult, and I would expect that both of you are probably 'set in your ways'.
You both work full time so there has to be alot of give and take ...............the 14 year old is going t have to start pulling his weight too.
2007-11-07 14:14:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good luck trying to do anything about this situation.
I have never seen my husband or children throw anything away. Ever.
I have tried having family talks, yelling, pleading, etc.
I finally started throwing their things away if they wouldn't pick them up. That's the only tactic that even sort of worked.
2007-11-07 13:47:15 · answer #9 · answered by MeemeeG 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Navy does teach one to be neat. they may not have the same amount of self discipline as you do.
same in my house, no self discipline with the kids.
2007-11-07 13:44:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋