What happens you start to regret the life you've chosen?

Question

What happens when you wish you could redo something? What happens when you start to regret a decision you made?

I want nothing more than to go back just over a year ago and change every decision I made.

I'm miserable at work. I'm miserable at home. I don't even want to look at my husband anymore, and we've only been married 8 months. I sleep all the time because I don't want to wake up and face another day. I'm too chicken to end my life.

This is not at all what I wanted for my life. So what the **** do I do to make it better? What's wrong with me?

Answer 1

Depression is most likely the cause of why you are feeling this way. You say you would like to go back to just over a year ago and start over. This could most likely be when your depression started. Its common to start to regret everything when you are depressed, but you have to realize that this is now and you can only change the future. Keep that in mind, although it might not mean anything to you now. I am not saying that a sentence is going to make you stop regretting everything, but on your way out of depression you will start to understand what I mean.

You say that, "I don't even want to look at my husband anymore, and we've only been married 8 months." One of the worse parts about depression is the inability to feel love, so do not blame yourself because you seemingly cannot love others.

You also mention you are miserable all the time and sleep most of the time. Those are both big red flags of depression. Do not think that you must be crying or sad all the time to be depressed. You may feel as you described, "miserable", or you may feel emotionless or angry. As for sleeping depression may make you feel tired all the time, even though you get an abundance of sleep. While oversleeping can make you more tired, most likely depression will still make you tired if you get "normal" nights sleep.

I recommend you see a doctor as soon as you can. Do not wait as untreated depression only gets worse. Do not get angry at yourself for not realizing you were depressed either. It is common for people to just get used to life being so sh*tty. You have made it this far and that is a true sign of your strength, do not give up now things will get better.

I would like you to start feeling better as this is no way to live. None of this is your fault, depression can effect anyone and there is nothing you could have done to stop it. If you have any questions please email me I would be more that happy to help. I am no doctor but I have been through depression myself.

I have also recently wrote a response to someone seemingly suffering from depression without knowing it. I feel you may benefit from reading it.

Answer 2

Step back and try to discover what is making you feel this way. You say you've been married eight months, this MAY be your problem, you were not ready for marriage. Marriage is a commitment and not everyone is ready for a commitment this large. On my second marriage, 29 years next year, three grown children . . . . . first marriage lasted two and a half years. It takes work from both sides, so don't blame yourself entirely, your spouse may share some blame as well. Communication . . . . . communication . . . . . communication . . . . . is the key. It's not easy, but my wife and I found this is the place to start. Talk to your spouse. Hugs to you. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Nothing is wrong with you. It sounds to me like you may be depressed. The very best thing you can do, and I honestly hope you do this, is to seek professional help. I completely understand how that can add to your stress, but it is very important to get these feelings out on the table before they get worse. You really need to talk to someone, that has no feelings or attachments to you, and begin to better your life.

I hope you really read this and take my advise. I've been there, and I don't regret anything anymore.

Best of luck to you, life is so much better than this!

Answer 4

You have to CHANGE things. Change can be good.

If you dislike your job, get a new one. Make home better and happier. What's wrong with your relationship with your husband? Talk things out with him.. Only YOU can change it. No one is going to do it for you.

If you don't have what you want, then you can usually work to get it. I can't help you get it, no one on YA can, your husband can't either.. Only you can, if you're reluctant to change, then guess what? Nothings gonna change.

Of course, you don't HAVE to change, you can live the same life that you have been.. If you want to.